Welcome to the Defector College Football Watch Guide, where Ray Ratto and Israel Daramola will tell you which of the weekend’s college football games are worth giving a crap about.
Ray: Week 2 usually blows because of all the 62-7 and 77-3 scores that dot Mismatch Alley (did you know there was an East Texas A&M, and if so, what happened to you as a child?). But while the new college football playoff format rewards eight-touchdown wins, it does damned little to explain relative strengths and weaknesses, which is why Week 3 is ever so slightly more handy. There are a few games that can help cut down the seasonal thicket, thanks to the networks leaning into September schedule bombs that make people think that there are only two sports in America. This is not a happy development—entertainment fascism never is—but it’s what we have until the general strike that brings this nightmare to the necessary halt it must eventually endure. In other words, Texas A&M at Notre Dame, you hyenas. Live with it.
Israel: Is the SEC washed? Are they at the very least on Fraud Alert? It's only Week 3 but none of the SEC or the other marquee schools have looked even capable of competing for a championship. Florida absolutely ate it against Group of 5 University of South Florida. Arch Manning and Texas played better but still not great. When LSU and Clemson battled, we thought we were watching two of the best teams in football, but in separate Week 2 games they looked to be a lot more flat and middling. It's basically just Ohio State and Florida State suddenly looking like world beaters, and if you think I'm gonna allow myself to believe in a Florida State playoff run again, you've got another thing coming.
So what do we make of how pedestrian most of the teams look? It could be that all the transfer portal turnover is making programs take longer to fully integrate everyone into their way of doing things. It could also be that with more playoff spots, there's less pressure against losing a game or two, even if it's a dumb loss. Just ask 2024 Notre Dame. I choose to overreact. Not only is the SEC no longer dominant, but they've been figured out by the rest of the league and brought down to our level.
What I will say, in all seriousness, is that the results so far are yet another case against preseason rankings. A totally ridiculous custom that we have normalized in which already favored teams and programs are given the benefit of the doubt based on a previous season and scattered reporting from training camp. It is confirmation bias of the highest order and routinely, year after year, distorts how we measure who is good and who is bad. Death to the preseason ranking.
Colgate at Syracuse - Friday 7:00 p.m. ET on ACC Network
This would normally be a bad buy for fans, a typical Week 3 overmatch between a power conference team with aspirations and a school named after toothpaste, which is why the secondary market lists tickets at $3. Here, though, is the secret perk. If Syracuse doesn’t hammer Colgate the way you would expect, you’ll get extra bang for your bank. Head coach Fran Brown was so underpleased with Saturday's 27-20 overtime win over UConn that he sent the fellows out to run a few sprints on the field after the game. The last coach to do that died in 1947, but since old school is back in fashion, anything less than 55-10 might mean the boys might have to stay on the field for a postgame scrimmage against Christian Brothers Academy. It may not be entertainment, but it makes Brown look like Bear Bryant, and what is coaching if not shamelessly performative? — Ray
Colorado at Houston - Friday 7:30 p.m. ET on ESPN
Colorado QB Ryan Staub looked impressive against Delaware, but Deion Sanders doesn't seem to want to fully commit to making any of his three QBs the official starter. I expect Staub will get a chance to try and show something against stiffer competition with Houston, their first Big 12 matchup of the season. While people are more inclined to talk about ticket sales with this game than actual football, I expect Houston will play their best ball on Friday night and give the Buffs everything they’ve got. But even without so many of their stalwarts from last season, including Travis Hunter and Sheduer Sanders, there’s still enough firepower to sneak out of there with a win. — Israel
Clemson (12) at Georgia Tech - Saturday 12:00 p.m. ET on ESPN
This is suddenly a big game. A feisty Georgia Tech that's playing at home and feeling good vs a .500 Clemson that has not looked great. Dabo Swinney's offense has been anemic, despite all the preseason high hopes for Cade Klubnik. Their receivers can’t get open, their run game is flat, and Klubnik makes a lot of the same poor decisions he made the last two years. This looks on paper to be a rock fight, which absolutely plays into the hands of Brent Key’s Georgia Tech squad. Unless Dabo’s God finally reveals himself, this looks to be a total recipe for disaster. — Israel
Wisconsin at Alabama (19) - Saturday 12:00 p.m. ET on ABC
There’s no way, right? Probably not. Wisconsin is a three-touchdown underdog in this game. As pedestrian as Alabama has looked, I don’t expect them to be at the “lose to Wisconsin” just level yet. It would take a herculean effort, and a lot of turnovers and points off those turnovers, for the Badgers to pull this off. But the thought of the entire state of Alabama experiencing an extinction-level event over a loss here is too good not to at least entertain. I do think the Badgers can at least cover the spread. — Israel
Georgia (6) at Tennessee (15) - Saturday 3:30 p.m. ET on ABC
Teams start dropping off the playoff trail about now because of the unforgiving nature of the current format and because of scheduling like this, but that will change as soon as Greg Sankey is named new undersecretary of war and all the SEC teams make the playoffs every year. As it is, Tennessee is already in a must-win situation because being 15th in the SEC may as well be second in the Mid-American. Then again, an early season Kirby Smart loss is never anything less than TikTok fun, so this game is worth sticking out just for the potential of mutual disaster. – Ray
Oregon State at Texas Tech (21) - Saturday 3:30 p.m. ET on Fox
Given Tech’s pedigree and the way the Beavers lost last week, this could be a spectacularly painful week for Oregon State. Blowing a lead to a field goal with 29 seconds left and then a pick six is soul-crushing stuff even when it’s Fresno State, but taking those gashed feelings to Lubbock could mean a beating of biblical margins. It wasn’t that long ago that Oregon State was a classic tough out, but losing its conference made it one of the prime victims of the last round of realignment, and now this? I have relatives who went to Corvallis, so I have to pretend that this is worth watching, but let’s be honest, this one is only For The Ghouls. Indeed, this could be a trapdoor game, and send them to One-And-Elevensville en route to the Big Sky. – Ray
Pitt at West Virginia - Saturday 3:30 p.m. ET on ESPN
That’s right, it’s Backyard Brawl time! And the name more than gives away exactly what to expect. This is probably the wackiest rivalry game we have every year. Pitt is the favorite to win again this year, and unfortunately West Virginia is still trying to replace key figures within their offense. Last weekend’s loss to Ohio was a bad one for the Mountaineers and doesn’t give anyone hope that they can carry on a victory against their hated rivals, even at home. But hey, the spread is only 7.5 and this is the Backyard Brawl. Someone might hit Pat Narduzzi with a shovel and rip off 17 straight points for West Virginia, I don’t know. – Israel
South Florida (18) at Miami (5) - Saturday 4:30 p.m. ET on The CW
Amazingly, USF is the likely underdog but still the draw here, if only due to their first two wins over Boise State and Florida that got them a top 20 ranking. The Bulls immediately vault to Most Charming Team You’re Not Already Sick Of, but Miami’s defense can be an attitude-adjuster, so we’ll know soon enough how seriously we should take them. A win with a Gramatica as the kicker is still a win, because Nico didn’t kick the winning field goal with his father's leg. This will be an honorable test for the ‘Canes, who are 2-0 after an eye-opening win over Notre Dame and a roadkill flattener against Bethune Cookman, but more to the point, Miami has Florida and then Florida State after this, so the Sunshine Gauntlet will either make them a national championship contender or get the athletic director fired for scheduling like a drunken gamer. As for Florida, Billy Napier called his team “not good enough” after the loss, which usually is translated to the athletic department as the coach being “not good enough.” – Ray
Florida at LSU (3) - Saturday 7:30 p.m. ET on ABC
The Athletic’s Christopher Kamrani explained relatively cogently why coaches like Brian Kelly affect Southern accents, which is the second biggest story of the week in Baton Rouge, after the 66-year-old freshman accountant who got to join the LSU Tiger Band as eighth sousaphone. Eventually, though, the story will be how good LSU is, or isn’t, depending on how badly they dopeslap the vulnerable Gators Saturday night. Florida is one of the five SEC teams who are not currently ranked, so you can guess how well another loss will play in Gainesville, but LSU is not yet comfortable where they are either, because Kelly has not yet convinced the fan base that his accent is sufficiently disguised to alter the fact that the Tigers have won only three inconsequential bowl games under Kelly. None of them, we needn’t tell you, made the fan base happy the way they expect to be happy, and Florida could be just the funky team to annoy them even further. We’ll know if Kelly develops a Scottish brogue so as to become completely incomprehensible in the postgame shame. – Ray
Texas A&M (16) at Notre Dame (8) - Saturday 7:30 p.m. ET on NBC
This is Mike Elko’s big moment. Here's a chance to capitalize on the proof of concept he showed last year and show that he can take this team to the next level. His first big test of the season is against a Notre Dame squad still reeling from a few key losses to their roster, but nevertheless remains a tough out. Notre Dame and Marcus Freeman also have a lot they need to prove following their loss to Miami, which makes this one of those games that will produce a decent measurement of just how good both of these programs are or are not. For some added pressure, everyone will be looking to Elko and A&M to prove that the SEC isn't totally down and out. – Israel
Minnesota at California - Saturday 10:30 p.m. ET on ESPN
I’ll make an admission: I find P.J. Fleck’s insanity very amusing. A problematic fave if, you will. I can also admit that he had the Golden Gophers looking real good last week. I get that Buffalo and Northwestern State are lesser competition, but beating up on patsies is all Minnesota really needs to do in order to make their annual mid-tier bowl game. This week’s competition is Cal, which is a step up for them, even as an ACC also-ran (still can’t believe Cal is in the ACC now). Cal has the advantage at the line of scrimmage, at least defensively, and I trust Justin Wilcox on offense more than I trust Fleck just throwing shit against the wall and seeing what works. There’s also the time difference: Minnesota has to go out to Berkeley and play a late-night ball game, meaning there's a good chance they will be sluggish for at least a half. But things get freaky after dark, and I think that’s the way Fleck and Minnesota like it. – Israel
Portland State at Hawaii - Sunday 12:00 a.m. ET
Do you have the guts to watch a football game at midnight? Should we dress up for it like it's the Rocky Horror Picture Show? Can you explain to your partner that you can’t come to bed because you have to watch an illegal internet stream of Hawaii football until possibly 3:00 a.m.? Many questions will be answered by the end of this. – Israel
