The Philadelphia Eagles are your decisive Super Bowl champions, and I could interpret their victory through a whole host of choices on the narrative play sheet. Jalen Hurts, the most serious person who has ever lived, finally getting the recognition he deserves as a fully-rounded quarterback. Eagles defensive coordinator Vic Fangio ruining Patrick Mahomes’s shit without having to call a single blitz. Kansas City’s atrocious pass protection finally catching up with them, same as in 2020. GOAT coronations withheld. Cooper DeJean’s pick-six. Saquon. The power of Italian thinking. Whatever take greases your pole, you can have at it.
So here’s mine: the Eagles won this title because they draft out of their fucking minds.
I had my fun with Philadelphia GM Howie Roseman five years ago, when he infamously picked slob WR Jalen Reagor one spot before the Vikings selected future Hall of Fame lock Justin Jefferson. But the joke is now on me—as is custom when you’re a Vikings fan—because that pandemic draft marked the exact spot when Roseman surreptitiously began to assemble the unstoppable killing machine that you saw rip through Kansas City 12 hours ago. Roseman grabbed Hurts in the second round of that draft, despite already having then-starter Carson Wentz on the roster with a fat extension. Wentz turned out to be an erratic dipshit. Hurts ended up winning Super Bowl MVP, in great part because of the selections that Roseman made every spring after his arrival.
Here are the Eagles' notable picks from 2021:
- WR DeVonta Smith, who caught the 46-yard dagger that made last night’s game 34-0.
- G Landon Dickerson, currently the eighth-ranked guard via PFF rankings
- Rotational DT Milton Williams, who sacked Mahomes twice and will become one of the most prized free-agent DTs on the market a month from now
- Backup RB Kenneth Gainwell, who averages well over four yards a carry
Now let’s look at 2022:
- DT Jordan Davis, one of the Eagles’ three interior DL who rank in the PFF top 20 at their position
- C Cam Jurgens, who would seamlessly replace Hall of Fame C Jason Kelce this season. Who the fuck draws up a succession plan at center, much less a wildly successful one?
- LB Nakobe Dean, who just this year was starting to resemble the terror he was at Georgia before he got hurt
And then, crucially, 2023:
- DT Jalen Carter, heir to Aaron Donald as the best interior pass rusher in the NFC. Carter would have gone much higher in that draft, perhaps No. 1 overall, if he knew how to drive a car responsibly. Instead, he fell all the way to No. 9, where the Eagles were able to trade up one spot to get him thanks to an extra first-rounder they’d yoinked from New Orleans earlier
- Carter’s UGA teammate DE Nolan Smith, who finished the postseason with four sacks
The rest of that Eagles draft was forgettable, but already you see how they were able to put together a scrimmage-dominant team from those three drafts alone. This is the kind of roster where any brand name acquisitions you make, like A.J. Brown and Saquon Barkley, are bound to flourish. You can also pluck second-wave free agents like LB Zack Baun and watch them flourish, too. And what’s really insulting is that Philadelphia would follow up that 2023 draft by taking Quinyon Mitchell and Cooper DeJean in Rounds 1 and 2, respectively, in 2024. God-level corners are nearly extinct in the modern NFL. The Eagles just drafted two of them. Mother. Fucker.
If you’re analytically inclined, and the Eagles very much are, you know that the draft is an eternally fickle creature, and that even the smartest front offices will shit the bed when they’re on the clock (see: Reagor). But it’s extremely difficult to look at Philadelphia’s recent draft history—or Kansas City’s, or Baltimore’s, or Green Bay’s—and deem them the beneficiaries of dumb luck. The Eagles devised an overarching strategy for building this roster: Let’s beat the unholy fuck out of other teams on the line of scrimmage. Then they figured out which draft prospects fit best with both that philosophy and with the other talent already in the building. And then they never overpaid to get any of them. In fact, in the case of players like Carter and Mitchell, the Eagles snatched up prospects who should have gone much higher than they ultimately did.
Thus, the residue of design is all over this team, and its second Lombardi Trophy. That four-man rush that drilled Mahomes into the ground? All drafted by Philly. That O-line that could Tush Push its way across the DMZ in Korea? All drafted by Philly, save for one (Mekhi Becton). Hurts? The draft. Josh Sweat? The draft. Reed Blankenship? The UDFA market. No matter how you build a champion, it starts with the draft. DRAFT DRAFT DRAFTITY DRAFT.
So we can talk about Nick Sirianni becoming America’s Prick, or about Saquon living his best life, or about A.J. Brown discovering his inner champion at the public library … but you can’t tell any of those stories without telling the simplest, dullest one. The Eagles know how to draft better than you, which is why they ARE better than you. You’re on the clock, Titans. See how it’s done.
