Why Your Team Sucks 2026: Los Angeles Chargers

Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Los Angeles Chargers. This 2026 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

Your team: Los Angeles Chargers.

These fellas look ready for January already!

Your 2025 record: 11-6 and the seventh seed in the AFC playoffs—the perfect scenario for a respectable wild-card exit. Alas, the Chargers wouldn't know respectability if it sliced through one of their Achilles tendons during training camp. This team is engineered to waste your time. That Sunday evening, the nation settled in after a weekend of fairly competitive football and then watched Los Angeles fail to score a touchdown in a 16-3 loss to the New England Patriots. Each quarterback was their team's leading rusher, but not because they were playing like Michael Vick out there. They were scampering for their lives.

This game was pure ass. Earlier that day, I finished my Sunday blog shift and decided to get out of the house to watch this with some friends. For some reason, the bar had open karaoke in the front—on a Sunday night!—so from our table in the back we could just hear indistinct wailing as two playoff teams struggled in the red zone. I had inadvertently subjected myself to a full Big Ten experience.

Before that playoff flop, the Chargers were involved in some other games, although the importance of them is dubious. They began the season 3-0, all wins against divisional rivals, and would you look at that ... these guys might be a little dangerous! Watch out, AFC! Then in Week 4 they lost to the New York Giants, giving head coach Brian Daboll one of his two wins before the team fired him.

The Chargers' lowlight of the regular season had to be in Week 11, when they went to Jacksonville and got wrecked, 35-6. They couldn't even force a punt out of the Jaguars. Every once in a while, the Chargers will fly to the East Coast for an afternoon game and forget how to reach the end zone.

Your coach: Jim Harbaugh, who in another life would have attacked Planned Parenthood clinics with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind. This guy hates winning consequential games in pro football almost as much as he hates women exercising their bodily autonomy.

Ever since Harbaugh skulked out of Ann Arbor in the dead of night, the Michigan football program has been beset by scandal and turmoil. Yes, there were all the infractions resulting from Connor Stalions's sign-stealing hijinks, which have been covered in great detail, but there was more serious shit too. Sherrone Moore, Harbaugh's successor and former offensive coordinator, was fired this past December for having an inappropriate relationship with a staffer, then had a mental breakdown before getting arrested for showing up at that staffer's apartment. Also, Harbaugh's former assistant coach Matt Weiss was charged with numerous crimes after hacking into college athletes' private photos. Such a weird coincidence that the guy who employed all of them had no direct connection to any of it.

The NCAA did punish Harbaugh for the sign-stealing scandal, then for fun added in some sanctions for recruiting violations, hitting him with show-cause penalties that will keep him out of college football until 2038. Presumably he has no interest in returning anyway, since coaching the Chargers is effectively a soft retirement. That might be expedited if he keeps failing to reach the divisional round, though.

Your quarterback: Justin Herbert, who is not built for this. In that playoff loss, various members of the Patriots defense were basically doing wrestling moves to him. He got hit 11 times and sacked six. Oh, his offensive line left him out to dry. The pass-blocking might have been terrible, but situational awareness is a quarterback's responsibility. He was facing the wrong direction in the pocket half the time!

Don't worry: Once they get back Rashawn Slater, who tore his patellar tendon last August and as of writing has missed over a week of practice due to issues with that surgically repaired knee, Herbert will have the protection he needs to throw a respectable but not too flashy 25–30 passing touchdowns this season. Then he'll be ready to shit his pants in a postseason game against ... hell, let's get bold and say the Bengals.

What’s new that sucks: Remember Adam Gase, the offensive whiz who in hindsight clearly coasted off his association with twilight-era Peyton Manning, but was also fired right before those same Broncos won a Super Bowl? That guy finagled that work experience into two head coaching stints, the second of which ended in such humiliating fashion that nobody thought he'd ever be employed in the NFL again. Well, take a guess at who hired him to be their new passing game specialist. Gase had been out of the league for so long that his most recent photos on Getty Images feature him wearing a COVID mask on the sideline.

Also new to the Chargers is offensive coordinator Mike McDaniel, who would be wise to consider his colleague Gase a cautionary tale: You had one more season and one more cold-weather playoff loss with the Dolphins than this football pariah, and yet look where that brought you: to the same exact place of employment. Joke time's over, buddy. Figure out how to keep Herbert's torso intact, because this new audience isn't looking for more deadpan stylings from Mr. Tight .500. So, um, the play I called for the quarterback was to not throw an interception, but, uh, as we can all see, you know, that's clearly not what happened. That'll totally kill at Dynasty Typewriter.

In free agency, the Chargers picked up tight ends David Njoku and Charlie Kolar, center Tyler Biadasz, guard Cole Strange, running back Keaton Mitchell, defensive tackle Dalvin Tomlinson, and fullback Alec Ingold. Half of these players will suffer devastating injuries by Week 3, rendering any analysis meaningless. (Note: I wrote this sentence one day before Biadasz suffered an ACL injury in practice and had to be carted off.) Los Angeles also used a first-round pick to draft Akheem Mesidor, a 25-year-old linebacker with a history of foot injuries. He's a perfect fit for this organization (derogatory). In his draft rankings, ESPN analyst Matt Miller compared Mesidor to Dee Ford, and as we all know, Matt Miller is not only accurate but trustworthy.

As for other rookies of note, here is Jake Slaughter, who will likely fill in for Biadasz at center:

That man is 23 years old. He looks like the Free Press threw him a career lifeline by giving him a column about "campus issues."

What has always sucked: Since fleeing to Los Angeles in 2017, the only playoff victory for these dopes came against 21-year-old rookie QB Lamar Jackson, and he had already beaten them that regular season. And he almost beat them again in that game! In between then and now, their most notable postseason moment was blowing a 27-0 lead to the Jaguars, a defeat that remains one of the funniest games I've ever watched live. It's also the closest I've come to downloading a gambling app on my phone; going into that fourth quarter, with the Chargers leading 30-20, everyone knew they would find a way to lose.

Everyone wants to prattle on about the 49ers' substation injury theory—a conspiracy that ought to be decreed "too Reddit"—when they should be focusing on California's real champions in injury. The Chargers have a longstanding commitment to getting hurt, and the only electricity they need is on their helmets. These guys show up day in, day out, day out, day out, placed on IR, eligible to return in Week 7. Najee Harris signed here in March 2025, blew up his eye with fireworks that July, then tore his Achilles before the end of September. That's excellence in health insurance, curses, or both.

The Chargers have once again been praised for their schedule release video. They said it couldn't be done: an NFL achievement lamer than "winning the offseason." I've always been irritated by the Chargers' social media team insisting on lowercase in all their missives. There's no way to add a personal twist to an announcement of a player's brain injury. You are adults.

What might not suck: Folks, I really think this is the year Justin Herbert makes the leap. Also, not to brag, but I just purchased this pretty sick bridge.

HEAR IT FROM CHARGERS FANS!

Ben:

I think if you bet against an embarrassing early playoff exit for Chargers on any gambling site, it counts as a tax deductible donation.

Tim:

Cameron Dicker made himself worth $2 in this year's fantasy auction, isn't that something?

Conor:

The high point of the Chargers playoff season was a QB in his mid-40s starting three games for a team halfway across the country that missed the playoffs.

My dad kept texting me Philip Rivers updates that he saw on the news and it was genuinely sweet. It was the first time in my life we've ever really talked football.

Beckett:

I am a Blazers fan, and a former A’s + Raiders fan. Two of those teams abandoned their city and the third is soon to follow. It’s really painful and I am constantly sad about this.

Yet after the Raiders left, I chose the LA Chargers, who epitomize the “abandoned their city” trope. I am a solipsistic hypocrite.

This team suffers bad injury luck to a degree that the Ancient Greek tragedians would have put on stage as a moral tale.

Jeff:

I'm writing this on July 31st, it will be a few weeks into training camp before you get the Chargers since they decided to win enough games to lower their draft pick before getting embarrassed in the first round by the Pats for the 15th time. My only question is how many of our starters will have gone down with season ending injuries by the time our preview runs? My guess is 3, that seems like the right number.

Lucas:

This team finally has two healthy tackles and a center who does not cosplay as an armless mannequin like the one last year. So it stands to reason that all three will suffer season-ending injuries playing Settlers of Catan with Justin Herbert. It's the Chargers Way.

Gabriela:

An owner who doesn't give two shits cus now he has a cushy (shared) stadium in gentrification Central. A maniacal head coach that constantly touches the QB like an awkward dad. The best gd QB that's wasting away like my dear Mike Trout at the Anaheim Angels. What creative yet insane way are we exiting the playoffs this year?

Michael:

I fully anticipate them going 14-3, winning the AFC West for the first time since 2009, then losing at home to someone like Cleveland as Deshaun Watson throws for 4 TDs.

Fuck Marlon McCree, now and forever.

Jesse:

You may look at what happened to the Chargers in the playoffs last year, and think "That's odd, Harbaugh has been a proven winner everywhere he has gone. Why haven't they gotten it together yet?" 

Any Chargers fan of a certain vintage can tell you what's really going on here, and it has nothing to do with strength coaches or turf. 

They call it "The curse of the Q", or, in more polite company, La Maldición de San Diego.

The legend goes like this: When the moving trucks rolled out of Mission Valley in 2017, an old timer in a faded LT Jersey was said to be standing in the empty Qualcomm parking lot, tailgate grill still warm, watching the last truck leave. He raised a lukewarm carne asada fry to the sky and declared that no team that abandons perfect 72 degree weather and the best fish tacos in America for a stadium it has to rent from the Rams shall ever know postseason peace. 

The Bolt logo, he warned, would remain—but the luck (what there ever was of it, anyway) would stay behind in San Diego with the people who actually showed up on Sundays. 

And so it is written: Every January, the ligaments of Los Angeles offensive tackles quietly volunteer themselves as tribute. Patellar tendons snap in the summer heat. Ankles roll on flawless indoor turf for no reason at all. A rookie RB gets hurt, heals, and then, just to be thorough, gets hurt on the opposite leg. Herbert throws touchdowns with what is essentially one working hand, like a knight fighting on after losing an arm, because the curse permits competence, but never reward. 

The terms of release, per the legend, are non negotiable: the hex only lifts when the deed to the franchise changes hands and the name over the door is no longer the one that signed the moving order. Until Spanos sells the team, the fine print reads: "The Bolts may win 11 games, they may draft beautifully, they may hire a Harbaugh, but come the wild card round, the training staff is going to need a bigger cart."

Meanwhile the fans in San Diego remain undefeated in the playoffs every year, on account of not being in them, and are said to sleep very well. 

Does anyone actually believe any of this? It's hard to say. Sometimes a curse is just easier to explain than the injury report.

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