OK, so you are 22 years old and you've decided to pose as a 13-year-old so that you can play in a junior varsity girls basketball game. How do you handle yourself?
No, sorry, there is no time to ask questions like, "What?" or "Why would I do this?" or "Are you trying to get me arrested?" That's because Arlisha Boykins, a 22-year-old now-former assistant coach for a JV girls basketball team in Portsmouth, Va., apparently did not not stop to ask herself those questions before she put on a uniform and assumed the identity of one of the team's 13-year-old players. That's according to local news station WAVY, which aired a report about the incident Monday night:
WAVY reports that Boykins played in a Jan. 21 game, impersonating a player almost a full decade younger who had to miss in order to play for a club basketball team out of town. The station spoke to that girl's father, who was understandably dismayed at being told that an adult woman had played in a game in place of his daughter. "Coaches always preach to the kids about integrity and those types of things, so I was just shocked," he said.
But back to the original question: If you were in Boykins's shoes, how would you conduct yourself on the floor? Would you, for example, uncork vicious blocks while on defense and hit your opponents with the "Count it!" celebration after making a driving and-1 layup?
Maybe you consider yourself above such antics, but why should you be? You've already disgraced yourself by pretending to be a small girl so that you can dominate a children's basketball game, so why hew to any sense of decorum and sportsmanship once the action starts? You're just supposed to put your head down and run back on defense after splashing a jumper in the face of an opponent eight years your junior? Nah. Hit that shrimp with the "too small." Rock the baby after grabbing an offensive rebound and muscling the ball into the hoop. Call over one of your teammates to put the crown on your head after hitting a corner three. Just go for it.
WAVY also reports that the players on the team Boykins infiltrated have elected to forfeit the rest of the season. At least they went out on a high note.