It was a crucial situation in the NFL’s marquee game of the week. The Lions had been unable to do anything on offense, but their defense had played well enough to keep them within a score of the reigning Super Bowl champions. Then the Lions finally did it. They broke through with a big play. And then the refs called a bullshit penalty.
The worst call in the Eagles’ 16-9 win over the Lions wasn’t the pass interference call on Detroit CB Rock Ya-Sin that iced the game with two minutes left. And that was an awful call! Lions fans should spend all week whining about it on either Costa & Jansen with Heather or The Mike Valenti Show with Rico. It was such a bad call that my dad texted me that he agreed with Cris Collinsworth’s assessment that, if anything, it was offensive pass interference on AJ Brown.
The worse penalty actually came after Detroit’s biggest play, a 40-yard Jared Goff touchdown pass to Jameson Williams that capped the Lions’ only successful drive of the night. The Lions did basically nothing in the first half until Goff completed a 34-yard pass to Amon-Ra St. Brown. On the next play, Williams took a route across the field and outran everyone for the score. He celebrated by jumping onto the stanchion of the goalposts and giving it a big hug.
The Lions had tied the score at 6, but they wouldn’t go ahead. Williams got a 15-yard celebration penalty for what appeared to be an expression of legitimate excitement after his long touchdown. There was no taunting or choreography or any obvious foresight; it was just the absolute opposite of what Vai Sikahema used to do after scoring a touchdown. The flag pushed Detroit's extra point back 15 yards, and Jake Bates missed it. The Eagles would score their next possession and never trail the rest of the way.
And this was not even the stupidest celebration flag thrown on Sunday! After a catch against the 49ers on Sunday, Trey McBride celebrated by doing what the NFL calls the “nose wipe” gesture. This celebration was one specifically targeted by the league in an offseason memo. I will share this wonderful sentence from The Daily Mail for the reasoning: “Per NBC Sports, the ‘nose wipe’ gesture has been associated with the Bloods street gang and indicates that someone is not trustworthy.” I looked it up and am happy to report Mike Florio and Chris Simms have had at least one three minute discussion about “why the ‘nose wipe’ celebration is linked to a gang gesture.” My editor asked me to watch this video and I declined.
I would argue that when CeeDee Lamb does a stupid cocaine celebration after a score it becomes troubling due to its associations with an even worse gang, the Dallas Cowboys. When Trey McBride does it, it absolutely does not matter in terms of the game’s result. Arizona was only beating the 49ers on Sunday if the game was played in a different universe. Perhaps that universe is also one where someone joins a gang based on a Trey McBride touchdown celebration that has a tenuous connection to a gang—I am speculating here—and if the NFL’s powerful stance against normalizing alleged gang symbols prevents a resurgence of college kids doing the west side hand thing at fraternity “Pimps and Hoes” parties, then perhaps the rule will have brought some good into the world. But, again, I am speculating.
I do not think it is worth a 15 yard penalty, though. This offseason the NFL announced it’d be “emphasizing sportsmanship and cracking down on violent and sexually suggestive gestures.” It included this quote from NFL officiating rules analyst Walt Anderson: “Unsportsmanlike gestures like simulating or either shooting a gun or brandishing a gun, or inappropriate gestures like a throat slash, or unfortunate sexual gestures, those were up 133 percent, so that is a point of emphasis.” I’m going to need to see the data on this one, Walt. I’m old, so please send it to me in Excel. Don’t make me learn R.
We have now reached the part of the story where the writer is supposed to place something to the effect of, “of course, players should avoid doing this and other outlawed celebrations to avoid a 15-yard penalty.” No. Bzzt. Wrong. I’m not doing that. These penalties are stupid. The refs shouldn’t call them even if they’re on the books. Look up “jury nullification.” The broader culture rerunning the 1990s has gone on long enough. I don’t need a Charles Barkley-style debate on sportsmanship, too.
Here’s something else Anderson said in August: “There are plenty of ways for players to be able to celebrate, and they come up with some very unique and often entertaining ways, so we want them to focus on those and not the inappropriate areas.” Right. One unique and entertaining celebration was one the NFL has highlighted on its YouTube page: Aaron Rodgers referencing a 2013 Key & Peele bit called “Excessive Celebration” after a touchdown run in 2020. That’s a reference everyone can enjoy, even given the usual Rodgers time-buffer; for context, one of his other signature bits that season was a reference to the 2002 cinematic classic Austin Powers in Goldmember fans.
Earlier this month, Carolina Panthers RB Rico Dowdle got a 15-yard flag for the same celebration. Dowdle even said that he’d seen other players do it without being penalized, though by rule I do think it’s a good judgment call by the ref: Five years after Aaron Rodgers did it, repeating that celebration is no longer unique or entertaining. Then again, NFL partner Fox has highlighted on its YouTube page the Patriots doing the same gag this season.
As with Williams’s penalty last night, the Dowdle flag pushed the extra point attempt back. Ryan Fitzgerald was short, which allowed the Packers to tie the game late in the fourth with a touchdown and extra point. Carolina hit a FG at the gun to win, but Dowdle’s penalty was relevant enough to the game that it made the first sentence in the AP game recap. This is still better than referencing Goldmember, but also it is an inconsistent, arbitrary mess.
Sunday night’s game included a player on one team hugging the goalposts in celebration after a touchdown. The other team’s entire defense gathered in the end zone for a skit that referenced Shawn Michaels’s superkick finishing maneuver after a Cooper DeJean interception. “We’ve had it planned out for a while,” DeJean said. “I wish the setup was better. I wish I’d finished it and got on top and get the three count.” He should keep his head up. I’m old enough to remember when Michaels used the teardrop suplex; I’ve seen worse match finishes.
Based on my understanding of the rules, these were the correct calls, and hugging the goalpost was “unsportsmanlike.” I do not care. The rule sucks! The NFL creates arbitrary rules about this sort of thing—it used to be against the rules to go the ground in celebrations, it used to be illegal to use the football as a prop—and those nonsense rules end up influencing not just the outcome of the game but how people remember it. Just like with Dowdle, Williams’ penalty ended up being one of the game’s storylines; the flag led to the Detroit Free Press calling him “one of the most frustrating players in the league” specifically because he jumped into the goalposts after a touchdown. Cris Collinsworth called him “immature” on the most-watched show on television, like it was the final act of a Cosby Show episode 40 years ago. This was a little funnier than that, but none of it had to happen.
If this is your hobbyhorse, as it is mine, no doubt you have your favorites. Mine came in the 2004 Eagles/Browns game, when Terrell Owens got a 15-yard penalty for ripping down a sign that had a drawing of him as a rat. (He had celebrated another touchdown that game by throwing the football at a sign that said “T.O. has B.O.” That did not receive a flag.) Michael Thomas’s cell phone celebration was a clever tribute to Joe Horn's cell phone celebration. It received a rebuke from Michael Strahan on the postgame show: “When you do the prop, because there is also a manner of respect when you score a touchdown.” Collinsworth, to his credit, is simply a defender of The Rules. When DeSean Jackson got a penalty for falling into the end zone after a 91-yard touchdown catch, Collinsworth argued it was not a penalty as he dove into the end zone rather than celebrating with a post-TD flop.
But the rules are stupid. One can imagine a universe where Williams is praised for calling attention to the NFL’s “Salute to Service” logo on the goalposts and the league makes an ad campaign about hugging the troops as a result. One could also imagine this universe being a little less uptight about this sort of thing. Making hard-and-fast rules for how to celebrate is stupid, and these celebration penalties are awful. They should stop calling all of them. I realize my stance here does not leave much room for debate. I don’t care. I’m right. And don’t get me started on these freaking taunting penalties.
