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Defector

Tom Ley

Soccer

Poland Advances To Knockout Stage By Playing Jabroni Soccer

Luis Paez-Pumar

A dejected Joachim Andersen of Denmark at full time after being knocked out the FIFA World Cup in the group stages during the FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 Group D match between Australia and Denmark at Al Janoub Stadium on November 30, 2022 in Al Wakrah, Qatar

Denmark Was Something Rotten

Patrick Redford

DOHA, QATAR - NOVEMBER 29: Sergino Dest of USA controls the ball during the FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 Group B match between IR Iran and USA at Al Thumama Stadium on November 29, 2022 in Doha, Qatar. (Photo by Matteo Ciambelli/DeFodi Images via Getty Images)

Internationals

Why Not U.S.?

Billy Haisley

USA's forward #10 Christian Pulisic scores his team's first goal past Iran's goalkeeper #01 Alireza Beiranvand during the Qatar 2022 World Cup Group B football match between Iran and USA at the Al-Thumama Stadium in Doha on November 29, 2022.

The USMNT Is What We Thought It Was

Ghana's midfielder #20 Mohammed Kudus celebrates scoring his team's third goal during the Qatar 2022 World Cup Group H football match between South Korea and Ghana at the Education City Stadium in Al-Rayyan, west of Doha, on November 28, 2022. (Photo by Khaled DESOUKI / AFP) (Photo by KHALED DESOUKI/AFP via Getty Images)

Ghana Is Definitely Here For A Good Time, Maybe For A Long Time

Casemiro of Brazil scores their team's first goal during the FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 Group G match between Brazil and Switzerland at Stadium 974 on November 28, 2022 in Doha, Qatar.

This Is How Brazil Will Win The World Cup

Cameroon's Vincent Aboubakar scores their side's second goal of the game during the FIFA World Cup Group G match at the Al Janoub Stadium in Al Wakrah, Qatar.

Cameroon-Serbia Was The World Cup’s Weirdest And Wildest Game

Germany's midfielder #14 Jamal Musiala is challenged by Spain's midfielder #26 Pedri and Spain's midfielder #09 Gavi during the Qatar 2022 World Cup Group E football match between Spain and Germany at the Al-Bayt Stadium in Al Khor, north of Doha on November 27, 2022.

Soccer Gods Reward Spain And Germany’s Spectacular Match With A Good And Just Draw

Ray Ratto

Canada's defender #02 Alistair Johnston (L) reacts after Croatia won the Qatar 2022 World Cup Group F football match between Croatia and Canada at the Khalifa International Stadium in Doha on November 27, 2022.

Canada’s World Cup Is Already Over

Argentina's Lionel Messi (l) cheers with Argentina's Julian Alvarez (r) after his goal for 1:0.

Argentina Saved Its World Cup, And Can Now Begin Again

AL KHOR, QATAR - NOVEMBER 25: Tyler Adams of United States of America talks with Yunus Musah of United States of America during the FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 Group B match between England and USA at Al Bayt Stadium on November 25, 2022 in Al Khor, Qatar. (Photo by Juan Luis Diaz/Quality Sport Images/Getty Images)

USMNT Stands Tall Against England

David Roth

USMNT midfielder Tyler Adams applauds after the team's 1-1 tie against Wales in the 2022 World Cup. The Distraction logo is at upper right.

Podcasts

Getting Stupid In A Global Sense

Richarlison Found What He’s Been Looking For

Marco Asensio of Spain celebrates with team mates after scoring during the FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 Group E match between Spain and Costa Rica at Al Thumama Stadium on November 23, 2022 in Doha, Qatar.

Spain Touches The Sky

Japan And Germany Played A Perfect Game

A board signifying 14 minutes of first half stoppage time is seen during the FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 Group B match between England and IR Iran at Khalifa International Stadium on November 21, 2022 in Doha, Qatar.

Where Is All This World Cup Stoppage Time Coming From?

Salem Aldawsari of Saudi Arabia celebrates as he scores the goal during the FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 Group C match between Argentina and Saudi Arabia at Lusail Stadium on November 22, 2022 in Lusail City, Qatar.

Saudi Arabia Had Too Much Fight For Argentina To Handle

Christian Pulisic Right Winger of USA and Chelsea FC gestures during the FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 Group B match between USA and Wales at Ahmad Bin Ali Stadium on November 21, 2022 in Doha, Qatar. (Photo by Jose Breton/Pics Action/NurPhoto via Getty Images)

The USMNT Had Their Chance And Then Blew It

World Cup Teams Back Off Plan To Wear Rainbow Armbands

Enner Valencia of Ecuador , Celebrates the 0:1 goal, which was pulled back for offside during the FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 Group A match between Qatar and Ecuador at Al Bayt Stadium on November 20, 2022 in Al Khor, Qatar.

Qatar Opened The World Cup By Eating A Bunch Of Shit

Gianni Infantino Loses His Grip On The World Cup

Australia Has One Cool Old Guy And One Cool Young Guy

Liverpool's Diogo Jota (left) and Chelsea's N'Golo Kante battle for the ball during the Premier League match at Anfield, Liverpool. Picture date: Thursday March 4, 2021. (Photo by Oli Scarff/PA Images via Getty Images)

The World Cup Injury Crisis Is Only Going To Get Worse

Defector Up All Night

The Sports Lowlight Of The Day Is This Dancing Aussie Keeper

CARDIFF, WALES - JUNE 05: Oleksandr Zinchenko of Ukraine applauds the fans after their sides defeat during the FIFA World Cup Qualifier between Wales and Ukraine at Cardiff City Stadium on June 05, 2022 in Cardiff, Wales. (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)

World Cup