Kelly Stafford, wife, mother, podcaster, poster, took the big step of owning up to a petty crime we've all at least thought about doing: hucking a pretzel at an annoying fan. Per TMZ, some rude fans seated behind Matthew Stafford's wife at this week's Rams-49ers game in Santa Clara started talking shit, so she flung a soft pretzel back towards them. It doesn't seem like anyone was harmed, though security stepped in and moved Stafford's group to some new seats, presumably with less risk of the airstrikes reigniting. The stadium-mediated ceasefire appears to have held throughout the rest of the game, which the Rams lost, 31-10.
We know about the pretzel incident for the same reason we've known the other dramas—big and small, political and domestic—of Stafford's life: Instagram. Kellyheads understand her to be a wonderfully forthcoming social media user. It was on this app that she aired her frustration with COVID-19 restrictions in the "dictatorship that we call Michigan" almost exactly a year ago. (In a surprisingly satisfying apology, she admitted she "directed her frustration to the wrong thing.") A few months ago, she placed her own career in her followers' hands using Instagram Stories's poll feature. (The options were to write a book, start a podcast, start a fitness line, or transfer her nursing license to California.) The TMZ report contained a screenshot of an Instagram comment from a Rams fan sitting near Stafford at Monday night's game. The fan called on her to "set a better example for your children" after warning her, "you are lucky you didn't hit me with it because the outcome would have been different for YOU." Ominous.
Stafford's response, in full:
girl I knowwwww I'm an idiot. He was saying a bunch of things that were aggressive towards our crew but zero excuse. I tried to apologize, but in the end knew I was wrong. Will always stand up for my guy and everyone I love, but obviously needed to do it completely different! I'm embarrassed too! Sorry you had to witness me in my weak moment!
It takes a big person to defend their spouse's honor by weaponizing a stadium pretzel (which cost a cool $7.50 as of four years ago), but an even bigger person to apologize for doing so.