Skip to Content

Every morning lately I wake up grumpy, have some coffee, take my dog for a walk, and plunk my little body down at my desk to begin typing my blogs. But yesterday morning was different. The terrible package system at my apartment building alerted me via email that I had a package. Hooray! I thought it was the cheapo exercise bike I ordered online to ride while I watch terrible television. But it was something better. Something much, much better.

It was a whole pie!!!

My perfect aunt and uncle sent me a pie in the mail as a present! I opened the box and the pie was all cold sitting on top of what used to be some dry ice. There it was, so tall and buttery. I pulled it out, cut off a slice, and ate it for breakfast. Then I immediately got a huge sugar high and speed-wrote 800 words that I will almost certainly have to edit a lot.

My buddies, my pals, my sad people, here is a small slice of advice: HAVE SOME PIE!!!

Pie is very good. It is buttery. It is sugary. It is good for dessert AND for breakfast. You can eat a pie hot or cold; it is good in both forms. Pie has fruit sometimes, which is famously very good for you. Pie is a very exciting snack.

My pie was delivered from Emporium Pies in Dallas. (They did not sponsor this pie post.) It is an apple pie that is somehow four inches tall and has a nice crumble top. I showed my pie to my coworkers yesterday, and now they all want pie. Chris drove to another town to pick up some pie. Luis walked to get some pie. Barry hopped on a bicycle to get some. [Editor's note: Barry got several small tarts.] It is understandable. Pie is delicious.

Every day is a million years long now and we are all tired and it is getting darker every day. Have some pie! You deserve it!

Already a user?Log in

Welcome to Defector!

Sign up to read another couple free blogs.

Or, click here to subscribe!

If you liked this blog, please share it! Your referrals help Defector reach new readers, and those new readers always get a few free blogs before encountering our paywall.

Stay in touch

Sign up for our free newsletter