The Golden State Warriors have been positively meh-tastic this season, as if it has finally dawned on them that they really are old after all these years. Even if the game has not fully passed them by, the NBA's talent dynamics surely have. They are not yet awful in the way of the worst of their brethren, as Comrade Hampton most recently learned to her own cost, and they are not likely to be so unless old comes up and takes a sizable chunk out of Stephen Curry. But there also isn't a lot to recommend them as a viewing experience or playoff contender at this moment. Their 120-97 win over Orlando last night merely pulled the Warriors back to .500. For a fan base that remembers the 2015-19 teams, which were below .500 for only five days in those five seasons, it is a bit of a comedown.
But the show must go on, and when every day is a new competition for the entertainment dollar—Red Panda is now doing NFL gigs, for Christ's sake—the Warriors are learning that there is more to holding an audience than Curry going for 48 in an inexplicable loss. You'll still get that show every now and then, but no longer with the old rerun-style regularity. The same goes for Draymond Green's own conundrum, which is sort of about keeping his more specialized audience engaged and sort of about managing his own ineffable Draymondness.
And so it was that, two nights after getting ejected a minute and change into the second quarter, which is impressive even for him, Green got into a heated snipefest with head coach Steve Kerr on the bench during Monday's game. That set-to came three minutes and change into the second quarter (hmm, a pattern developing?) and ended with a novel twist—Green taking himself to the locker room in a rare and valuable self-ejection. True, Green has ref-baited his way out of games on multiple occasions, but this was less ambiguous, and less dependent on an official's action. He just took a hike. Maybe it was a belated gift to his son D.J. on his ninth birthday.
For those outside the Warriors' geographical orbit, this can and will be filed away as just one more Dray-O-Gram, another example of him taking his temper out for a walk because 1) it felt right at the time and 2) Kerr's longstanding indulgences on that front. The two have even considered fighting each other at halftime of a playoff game, though that was inside the locker room rather than at midcourt where the paying customers could fully enjoy the spectacle.
But both parties were both younger and more impetuous then. Today? Green is nearly 36, and Kerr is bang-on 60. If Jake Paul and Anthony Joshua can fight (well, sort of) for money, why not Green and Kerr? It surely won't be the only intra-generational fistfight this holiday season, as your own family is about to discover.
As it turned out, Green eventually returned to the bench, if not to the game, and his teammates beat the Magic soundly in his absence; they've seen this particular dog 'n' pony before, and acted like it. The Warriors tried afterward to pass it all off as just one of those things, which in the grand scheme of Draymond Green's personal Anger Management Journey it pretty much is.
This, of course, is entirely the wrong approach, unless the working plan is to set up that one final shirts-off-no-rules-foreign-objects-approved battle royal between player and coach somewhere down the line. Maybe they could do it at Curry's final home game next year, to make the night more than just the boilerplate "Here's a car and a statue and a job for life; thanks for making us all fabulously rich" ceremony. It would be a touching tribute: one final form-shattering pyrospectacular to bring this saga to an end before the people who have paid the most attention to this annual tradition.
The case of Green v. Kerr may have lasted well past its sell-by date, and last night's event may in the context of that epic's long sweep only amount to the difference between Frank's Hot Sauce and Cholula on your burrito. But let us remind you, these two getting after each other predated Jake Paul's sad boxing career, and it will be a tragedy if their dynamic cannot outlast it. At least the fight would be more fun, which wouldn't be hard, plus it would be a refreshing change from the Red Panda Farewell Tour—unless she incorporates a flaming unicycle to tart up the act.
