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Luis Paez-Pumar

Karim Benzema (L) Real Madrid CF celebrates scoring their third goal with teammate Luka Modric (R) during the UEFA Champions League Round Of Sixteen Leg Two match between Real Madrid and Paris Saint-Germain at Estadio Santiago Bernabeu on March 09, 2022 in Madrid, Spain.

How On Earth Is Luka Modric Still Doing This?

Robert Lewandowski of FC Bayern Muenchen celebrates after scoring their team's third goal during the UEFA Champions League Round Of Sixteen Leg Two match between Bayern München and FC Salzburg at Football Arena Munich on March 08, 2022 in Munich, Germany

Salzburg Made Things Easy For Bayern Munich

Anthony Elanga of Manchester United celebrates after scoring their team's first goal during the UEFA Champions League Round Of Sixteen Leg One match between Atletico Madrid and Manchester United at Wanda Metropolitano on February 23, 2022 in Madrid, Spain.

Anthony Elanga Is Here To Save The Day

Billy Haisley

Juventus' Serbian forward Dusan Vlahovic (C) shoots and scores his team's first goal during the UEFA Champions League football match between Villarreal and Juventus at La Ceramica stadium in Vila-real on February 22, 2022.

This Is What Juventus Paid All That Money For

Patrick Redford

LONDON, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 22: Christian Pulisic of Chelsea celebrates after scoring their team's second goal during the UEFA Champions League Round Of Sixteen Leg One match between Chelsea FC and Lille OSC at Stamford Bridge on February 22, 2022 in London, England. (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)

Christian Pulisic Gets Back On Track

Virgil van Dijk and Ibrahima Konate of Liverpool FC celebrate a victory at the end of the of UEFA Champions League Round Of Sixteen Leg One match between FC Internazionale and Liverpool FC at Giuseppe Meazza Stadium on February 16, 2022 in Milan, Italy.

Liverpool’s Defense Is What Makes The Club Elite

Bernardo Silva of Manchester City applauds the Manchester City fans during the UEFA Champions League Round Of Sixteen Leg One match between Sporting CP and Manchester City at Estadio Jose Alvalade on February 15, 2022 in Lisbon, Portugal.

The Manchester City Train Keeps Running Opponents Over

Paris Saint-Germain's French forward Kylian Mbappe celebrates after scoring a goal during the UEFA Champions League round of 16 first leg football match between Paris Saint-Germain (PSG) and Real Madrid at the Parc des Princes stadium in Paris on February 15, 2022.

Paris Belongs To Kylian Mbappé

Marc Andre ter Stegen, keeper of FC Barcelona reacts as Leroy Sané of Muenchen scores the second goal during the UEFA Champions League group E match between FC Bayern München and FC Barcelona at Football Arena Munich on December 08, 2021 in Munich, Germany.

Barcelona Takes Another Big Step Back

Wendell of FC Porto clashes with Matheus Cunha of Atletico Madrid during the UEFA Champions League group B match between FC Porto and Atletico Madrid at Estadio do Dragao on December 07, 2021 in Porto, Portugal.

Atlético Madrid-Porto Was Soccer At Its Dumbest

Bayern Munich's players celebrate their second goal during the UEFA Champions League football match between Dynamo Kiev and Bayern Munich at the Olympic Stadium in Kiev on November 23, 2021.

Resistance Is Futile Against Bayern Munich

Alexia Putellas of FC Barcelona scores his side's 3rd goal during the UEFA Women's Champions League group C match between FC Barcelona and 1899 Hoffenheim at Estadi Johan Cruyff on November 10, 2021 in Barcelona, Spain.

Alexia Putellas Is As Good As It Gets

Antony of Ajax celebrates with David Neres after scoring their side's third goal during the UEFA Champions League group C match between AFC Ajax and Borussia Dortmund at Amsterdam Arena on October 19, 2021 in Amsterdam, Netherlands.

Ajax Is Too Loaded To Take Lightly

Mariona Caldentey of FC Barcelona celebrates scoring the opening goal during the UEFA Women's Champions League group C match between FC Barcelona and Arsenal WFC at Estadi Johan Cruyff on October 05, 2021 in Barcelona, Spain.

Barcelona Picked Up Where It Left Off, As The Best Team In The World

Albert Burneko

Barcelona striker Luuk de Jong, looking confused and helpless against Benfica

All Of What’s Miserable About Barcelona In 2021 Is Congealed Into The Form Of This Doofus

MADRID, SPAIN - SEPTEMBER 28: Players of FC Sheriff celebrate after victory in the UEFA Champions League group D match between Real Madrid and FC Sheriff at Estadio Santiago Bernabeu on September 28, 2021 in Madrid, Spain. (Photo by Gonzalo Arroyo Moreno/Getty Images)

There’s A New Sheriff In Town, And That Sheriff’s Name Is FC Sheriff

Paris Saint-Germain's Argentinian forward Lionel Messi, Paris Saint-Germain's Brazilian forward Neymar and Paris Saint-Germain's French forward Kylian Mbappe celebrate at the end of the UEFA Champions League first round group A football match between Paris Saint-Germain's (PSG) and Manchester City at The Parc des Princes stadium in Paris on September 28, 2021.

PSG Is A Work In Progress

AC Milan's French defender Pierre Kalulu (2ndR) touches the ball with the hand in the penalty area during the UEFA Champions League Group B football match between AC Milan and Atletico Madrid on September 28, 2021 at the San Siro stadium in Milan.

Nothing Is Easy For Atlético Madrid Right Now

Brenden Aaronson of RB Salzburg interacts with Jesus Navas of Sevilla FC during the UEFA Champions League group G match between Sevilla FC and RB Salzburg at Estadio Ramon Sanchez Pizjuan on September 14, 2021 in Seville, Spain.

Sevilla-Salzburg Was The Champions League At Its Most Chaotic

Timo Werner of Chelsea looks dejected as Ederson of Manchester City collects the ball during the UEFA Champions League Final between Manchester City and Chelsea FC at Estadio do Dragao on May 29, 2021 in Porto, Portugal.

Timo Werner Can’t Stop Missing But Won’t Stop Trying

Timo Werner of Chelsea scores his team's first goal during the UEFA Champions League Semi Final Second Leg match between Chelsea and Real Madrid at Stamford Bridge on May 05, 2021 in London, England

Chelsea Is Terrifying, Even When It Can’t Finish Its Chances

Karim Benzema of Real Madrid reacts after a missed shot during the UEFA Champions League Semi Final First Leg match between Real Madrid and Chelsea FC at Estadio Alfredo Di Stefano on April 27, 2021 in Madrid, Spain.

Chelsea Let Real Madrid Off The Hook

A statue of a Champions League trophy stands outside the Alfredo Di Stefano stadium in Valdebebas, northeast of Madrid, during the Spanish League football match between Real Madrid and Elche on March 13, 2021.

Why The European Super League Is Evil

Roberto Firmino of Liverpool battles for possession with Eder Militao of Real Madrid during the UEFA Champions League Quarter Final Second Leg match between Liverpool FC and Real Madrid at Anfield on April 14, 2021 in Liverpool, England.

Real Madrid Will Not Be Denied

Paris Saint-Germain's French forward Kylian Mbappe, Paris Saint-Germain's Senegalese midfielder Idrissa Gueye celebrate after winning the UEFA Champions League quarter-final second leg football match between Paris Saint-Germain (PSG) and FC Bayern Munich at the Parc des Princes stadium in Paris, on April 13, 2021