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Luis Paez-Pumar

Stefan Spirovski of North Macedonia celebrates their side's victory as Joao Pedro Galvao of Italy looks dejected after the 2022 FIFA World Cup Qualifier knockout round play-off match between Italy and North Macedonia at Stadio Renzo Barbera on March 24, 2022 in Palermo, Italy.

Oops, Italy Did It Again!

Ray Ratto

SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA - JANUARY 15: Sacramento Kings owner Vivek Ranadivé sits court side at the start of the second half of their game against the Dallas Mavericks at Golden 1 Center on January 15, 2020 in Sacramento, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

America’s Most Feckless Owners Want In On Chelsea

Billy Haisley

Manchester City's English midfielder Phil Foden (L) celebrates with teammates after scoring his team third goal during the English FA cup quarter-final football match between Southampton and Manchester City at St Mary's Stadium in Southampton, Southern England on March 20, 2022.

Manchester City’s Lack Is Our Gain

Patrick Redford

CINCINNATI, OH - NOVEMBER 12: Weston McKennie #8 of the United States is congratulated by Christian Pulisic #10 and Tyler Adams #4 after scoring a goal during the second half of the FIFA World Cup 2022 Qualifier match against Mexico at TQL Stadium on November 12, 2021 in Cincinnati, Ohio. The United States defeated Mexico 2-0.(Photo by Kirk Irwin/Getty Images)

The USMNT Is Injured As Hell And Has No Margin For Error

Barcelona's Spanish forward Ferran Torres (R) celebrates with Barcelona's Gabonese midfielder Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang (L) and Barcelona's French forward Ousmane Dembele (C) after scoring a goal during the Spanish League football match between Real Madrid CF and FC Barcelona at the Santiago Bernabeu stadium in Madrid on March 20, 2022. (

A Most Meaningless Clásico Was A Meaningful Ass-Whooping

Laura Wagner

Ziptie Guy Is Man Of The Match

Liverpool's Portuguese striker Diogo Jota celebrates scoring the opening goal with Liverpool's Colombian midfielder Luis Diaz during the English Premier League football match between Arsenal and Liverpool at the Emirates Stadium in London on March 16, 2022.

Manchester City And Liverpool Are Inseparable Once Again

Football players, Portugal's Cristiano Ronaldo, Brazil's Kaka and Argentina's Lionel Messi pose during a press conference prior to the FIFA World Player Gala 2007 award ceremony 17 December 2007 in Zurich.

The World No Longer Belongs To Ronaldo And Messi

Leeds United player Raphinha celebrates his goal during the Premier League match between Leeds United and West Ham United at Elland Road on September 25, 2021 in Leeds, England.

Raphinha Showeth And Raphinha Taketh Away

Kalyn Kahler

I Accidentally Went To The Most Dismal Soccer Game In Europe

Chelsea’s Win Felt Mercifully Routine

Karim Benzema (L) Real Madrid CF celebrates scoring their third goal with teammate Luka Modric (R) during the UEFA Champions League Round Of Sixteen Leg Two match between Real Madrid and Paris Saint-Germain at Estadio Santiago Bernabeu on March 09, 2022 in Madrid, Spain.

How On Earth Is Luka Modric Still Doing This?

Tom Ley

Chelsea Belongs To The U.K. Now

Bukayo Saka of Arsenal celebrates with (out of frame) Gabriel Martinelli of Arsenal after he scored during the Premier League match between Watford and Arsenal at Vicarage Road on March 06, 2022 in Watford, England.

Arsenal Is On The Assault

Robert Lewandowski of FC Bayern Muenchen celebrates after scoring their team's third goal during the UEFA Champions League Round Of Sixteen Leg Two match between Bayern München and FC Salzburg at Football Arena Munich on March 08, 2022 in Munich, Germany

Salzburg Made Things Easy For Bayern Munich

ST PAUL, MN - OCTOBER 26: Carli Lloyd #10 of United States warms up before the start of the game against Korea Republic at Allianz Field on October 26, 2021 in St Paul, Minnesota. United States defeated Korea Republic 6-0. (Photo by David Berding/Getty Images)

Carli Lloyd, What Are You Even Talking About?

ST. PAUL, MN - FEBRUARY 02: Luca de la Torre #17 of the United States dribbles the ball against Honduras in the first half of a World Cup Qualifying game at Allianz Field on February 2, 2022 in St. Paul, Minnesota. The United States defeated Honduras 3-0. (Photo by David Berding/Getty Images)

What Is This USMNT Guy’s Deal: Luca De La Torre

Abramovich watches during the Barclays Premier League match between Chelsea and Sunderland at Stamford Bridge on December 19, 2015 in London, England.

Premier League Ponders Separating Good Billionaires And Bad Billionaires


<p><a href="https://twitter.com/BKBlick" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Brian Blickenstaff</a> is an American writer based in Heidelberg, Germany.</p>


Brian Blickenstaff

Schalke players Ko Itakura and Darko Churlinov wearing Schalke jerseys that notably do NOT have former sponsor Gazprom's name on them.

FC Schalke Is Trying To Lose Its Russian Accent

Liverpool fans show a Ukrainian flag to indicate peace and sympathy with Ukraine prior to the Carabao Cup Final match between Chelsea and Liverpool at Wembley Stadium on February 27, 2022 in London, England

European Soccer United In Support Of Ukraine This Weekend

LONDON, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 27: Kepa Arrizabalaga of Chelsea looks dejected after missing the deciding penalty in the penalty shoot out during the Carabao Cup Final match between Chelsea and Liverpool at Wembley Stadium on February 27, 2022 in London, England. (Photo by Michael Regan/Getty Images)

Kepa Arrizabalaga Experiences Pure Agony, Again

Kelsey McKinney

A Reminder To Be Nice To Your Bros

FRISCO, TEXAS - FEBRUARY 23: Mallory Pugh #9 of the USA celebrates with Ashley Sanchez #13 and Catarina Macario #20 after scoring against Iceland in the second half during the 2022 SheBelieves Cup at Toyota Stadium on February 23, 2022 in Frisco, Texas.

It’s Time To Get Excited About The USWNT Youngsters

Anthony Elanga of Manchester United celebrates after scoring their team's first goal during the UEFA Champions League Round Of Sixteen Leg One match between Atletico Madrid and Manchester United at Wanda Metropolitano on February 23, 2022 in Madrid, Spain.

Anthony Elanga Is Here To Save The Day

Juventus' Serbian forward Dusan Vlahovic (C) shoots and scores his team's first goal during the UEFA Champions League football match between Villarreal and Juventus at La Ceramica stadium in Vila-real on February 22, 2022.

This Is What Juventus Paid All That Money For