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Billy Haisley

Bruno Fernandes of Manchester United celebrates after scoring their side's first goal from the penalty spot during the Premier League match between Manchester City and Manchester United at Etihad Stadium on March 07, 2021 in Manchester, England.

Manchester United Has Crawled Out Of The Meme Zone

Luis Paez-Pumar

Chelsea's English midfielder Mason Mount (L) celebrates scoring the opening goal during the English Premier League football match between Liverpool and Chelsea at Anfield in Liverpool, north west England on March 4, 2021.

Mason Mount Has Become Chelsea’s Best Player

Upon further review, VAR disallows a Fulham goal against Tottenham due to the dumb handball rule.

The Handball Rule Is Now A Little Less Dogshit

The big screen inside the stadium shows that a VAR review has decided to disallow a goal scored by Josh Maja of Fulham (not pictured) during the Premier League match between Fulham and Tottenham Hotspur at Craven Cottage on March 04, 2021 in London, England.

The Handball Rule Is Dogshit

A policeman enters the offices of the Barcelona Football Club on March 01, 2021 in Barcelona during a police operation inside the building.

Let’s Dive Into Barçagate, Barcelona’s Latest And Nuttiest Scandal

Tottenham Hotspur's Welsh striker Gareth Bale (C) celebrates with teammates after scoring their fourth goal during the English Premier League football match between Tottenham Hotspur and Burnley at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium in London, on February 28, 2021.

Tottenham Has Finally Gotten Its Gareth Bale Back

Patrick Redford

Seth Jahn poses for a portrait at the 2016 Team USA Media Summit at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on March 9, 2016 in Beverly Hills, California.

U.S. Soccer, Several USWNT Stars Condemn Council Member After Seven-Minute Rant Against Anthem Kneeling

ORLANDO, FLORIDA - FEBRUARY 24: Carli Lloyd #10 of the United States celebrates a goal during a match against Argentina in the SheBelieves Cup at Exploria Stadium on February 24, 2021 in Orlando, Florida. (Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)

The USWNT Is Crushing Everyone

Ray Ratto

A laborer walks on the field in one of the new stadiums Qatar has constructed for the 2022 World Cup.

We Know Just How Much Qatar’s World Cup Dream Cost

Chelsea's French striker Olivier Giroud (L) scores during the UEFA Champions League round of 16 first leg football match between Club Atletico de Madrid and Chelsea at the Arena Nationala stadium in Bucharest on February 23, 2021.

Olivier Giroud Scores Fittingly Drab Golazo

Jordan Henderson of Liverpool leaves the pitch as he is substituted off due to injury during the Premier League match between Liverpool and Everton at Anfield on February 20, 2021 in Liverpool, England

Liverpool’s Season Has Fallen Apart

Raheem Sterling of Manchester City celebrates after scoring his team's first goal during the Premier League match between Arsenal and Manchester City at Emirates Stadium on February 21, 2021 in London, England.

Resistance Is Futile Against Manchester City

Erling Haaland of Borussia Dortmund scores their side's third goal during the UEFA Champions League Round of 16 match between Sevilla FC and Borussia Dortmund at Estadio Ramon Sanchez Pizjuan on February 17, 2021 in Seville, Spain. Sporting stadiums around Spain remain under strict restrictions due to the Coronavirus Pandemic as Government social distancing laws prohibit fans inside venues resulting in games being played behind closed doors.

Erling Haaland Is Scary

Paris Saint-Germain's French forward Kylian Mbappe celebrates after scoring his team's fourth goal during the UEFA Champions League round of 16 first leg football match between FC Barcelona and Paris Saint-Germain FC at the Camp Nou stadium in Barcelona on February 16, 2021

Kylian Mbappé Is Just Too Much

Juventus' Portuguese forward Cristiano Ronaldo reacts after missing a goal opportunity during the Italian Serie A football match Napoli vs Juventus on February 13, 2021 at the Diego Maradona (San Paolo) stadium in Naples.

Juventus’s Grip On Serie A Is Finally Loosening

https://twitter.com/migquintana/status/1284890215954427905

Pedri Makes Barcelona’s Bad Season Worth It

Paris Saint-Germain's Brazilian forward Neymar (3rd-L) reacts on the lawn during the French Cup round-of-64 football match between Stade Malherbe Caen and Paris Saint-Germain at the Michel-d'Ornano Stadium in Caen, northwestern France on February 10, 2021.

It’s Happening To Neymar Again

Manchester United's Portuguese midfielder Bruno Fernandes (R) scores his team's first goal during the English Premier League football match between Manchester United and Everton at Old Trafford in Manchester, north west England, on February 6, 2021.

When A Goal Is A Work Of Art

Jesse Lingard of West Ham United is congratulated by team mates Ryan Fredericks, Tomas Soucek and Said Benrahma after scoring his second goal during the Premier League match between Aston Villa and West Ham United at Villa Park on February 03, 2021 in Birmingham, England.

West Ham Survived To Thrive In The Premier League

Tom Ley

Oh No, Alisson. Oh God, No.

Manchester City's English midfielder Raheem Sterling (R) celebrates scoring his team's second goal with Manchester City's Brazilian striker Gabriel Jesus (C) during the English Premier League football match between Burnley and Manchester City at Turf Moor in Burnley, north west England on February 3, 2021.

Manchester City Is Imposing Some Order On This Chaotic Season

Olympique de Marseille's Portuguese coach Andre Villas Boas gives a press conference at the French L1 football club training camp in Marseille, southern France, on January 26, 2021. (Photo by Christophe SIMON / AFP) (Photo by CHRISTOPHE SIMON/AFP via Getty Images)

What In The Hell Is Going On At Marseille?

Atletico Madrid's Uruguayan forward Luis Suarez celebrates his second goal during the Spanish league football match Cadiz CF against Club Atletico de Madrid at the Ramon de Carranza stadium in Cadiz on January 31, 2021.

Luis Suárez Is As Regular As An Old Man Eating Bran


<p>Diana Moskovitz is Defector&#8217;s investigations editor. You can contact her at diana@defector.com or dfmoskovitz@protonmail.com. She&#8217;s also on Signal @dmoskovitz.99</p>


Diana Moskovitz

Christen Press of Manchester United looks on and gives a thumbs up during the Barclays FA Women's Super League match between Manchester United Women and Manchester City Women at Leigh Sports Village on November 14, 2020 in Leigh, England.