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Better Hate An Owner

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Lauren Theisen

Playing Against The Flames Sucks

Brady Tkachuk is separated from Mikko Rantanen

The Senators’ Rebuild Is Far From Done

Barry Petchesky

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 21: Victor Olofsson #71 and Tage Thompson of the Buffalo Sabres react to the loss to the New York Rangers at Madison Square Garden on November 21, 2021 in New York City. The New York Rangers defeated the Buffalo Sabres 5-4. (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

Oh No, The Sabres Lost On A Buzzer-Beater

DALLAS, TEXAS - NOVEMBER 16: Ryan Suter #20 of the Dallas Stars celebrates with Riley Tufte #27 of the Dallas Stars after scoring a goal against the Detroit Red Wings in the first period at American Airlines Center on November 16, 2021 in Dallas, Texas. (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images)

Rick Bowness Was Extremely Rude To Scratch Riley Tufte In His Hometown

How Did The Anaheim Ducks Get This Fun This Fast?

Ray Ratto

CALGARY, AB - OCTOBER 18: A general view of the exterior of Scotiabank Saddledome as fans arrive and are checked for their Covid vaccinations prior to an NHL game between the Calgary Flames and the Anaheim Ducks on October 18, 2021 in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. (Photo by Derek Leung/Getty Images)

Canada Has Better Things To Do Than Go To NHL Games

The Islanders Really Need To Come Home

Matt Duchene #95 of the Nashville Predators takes a shot against Karel Vejmelka #70 of the Arizona Coyotes during the third period at Bridgestone Arena on November 13, 2021 in Nashville, Tennessee. The Nashville Predators won 4-1.

Nobody Does Losing As Well As The Arizona Coyotes

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA - NOVEMBER 09: Alex Wennberg #21 of the Seattle Kraken skates with the puck against Nicolas Roy #10 of the Vegas Golden Knights in the third period of their game at T-Mobile Arena on November 9, 2021 in Las Vegas, Nevada. The Golden Knights defeated the Kraken 4-2. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

Oh Right, Expansion Teams Are Supposed To Suck

during the 2014 NHL Awards at the Encore Theater at Wynn Las Vegas on June 24, 2014 in Las Vegas, Nevada.

The NHL Couldn’t Live In The Past Forever

Maitreyi Anantharaman

Jordan Eberle #7 of the Seattle Kraken celebrates his hat trick with Jaden Schwartz #17 and Alex Wennberg #21 against Dustin Tokarski #31 of the Buffalo Sabres during the third period at Climate Pledge Arena on November 04, 2021 in Seattle, Washington.

How Long Can The Kraken’s Party Last?

BUFFALO, NY - JANUARY 26: Jack Eichel #9 of the Buffalo Sabres before the game against the New York Rangers at KeyBank Center on January 26 , 2021 in Buffalo, New York. (Photo by Kevin Hoffman/Getty Images)

Good Morning, Jack Eichel Is A Golden Knight

Robin Lehner fights to keep the puck out of the net

Too Many Injuries

Leon Draisaitl Has Thrown His Hat Into The Scoring Race

during the 2018 NHL Awards nominee media availability at the Encore Las Vegas on June 19, 2018 in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Kevin Cheveldayoff Played Dumb And The NHL Bought It

SUNRISE, FL - JANUARY 7: Florida Panthers Head coach Joel Quenneville of the Florida Panthers looks on during third period action against the Arizona Coyote at the BB&amp;T Center on January 7, 2020 in Sunrise, Florida. the Coyotes defeated the Panthers 5-2. (Photo by Joel Auerbach/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Joel Quenneville

Joel Quenneville Is A Warning

The Red Wings’ Kids Are Even Better Than Advertised

An Indian elephant with a 'For Sale' sign attached to its tail, circa 1930. (Photo by FPG/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

This All Really Sucks


<p>Diana Moskovitz is Defector&#8217;s investigations editor. You can contact her at diana@defector.com or dfmoskovitz@protonmail.com. She&#8217;s also on Signal @dmoskovitz.99</p>


Diana Moskovitz

PHILADELPHIA - JUNE 09: The Chicago Blackhawks pose for a team photo after defeating the Philadelphia Flyers 4-3 in overtime and win the Stanley Cup in Game Six of the 2010 NHL Stanley Cup Final at the Wachovia Center on June 9, 2010 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)

There Will Be More John Does

during the 2017 NHL Draft at the United Center on June 23, 2017 in Chicago, Illinois.

The Blackhawks Were Rotten All The Way Through

Dallas Stars coach Rick Bowness yells at his players.

Rick Bowness Turns Purple And Convinces The Dallas Stars To Fuck Off

The Leafs Are Losing Everything, Even Their Teeth

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS - OCTOBER 24: Erik Gustafsson #56 of the Chicago Blackhawks falls after getting his stick caught around Pius Suter #24 of the Detroit Red Wings at United Center on October 24, 2021 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

The Blackhawks Have Earned This Dive Into The Toilet

BUFFALO, NEW YORK - OCTOBER 16: Buffalo Sabres players celebrate a goal by Cody Eakin #20 during the second period of a NHL hockey game against the Arizona Coyotes at KeyBank Center on October 16, 2021 in Buffalo, New York. (Photo by Joshua Bessex/Getty Images)

OK, What The Heck Is Going On With The Sabres?

Nick Seeler Really Wanted To Fight Jamie Oleksiak