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This right here is why American sports fail. They have too many evil, greedy owners and not enough bat-guano crazy ones.

This is the brief (you're welcome) story of Stoyne Manolov, who until Sunday evening owned the Bulgarian First Division side Tsarsko Selo, cleverly nicknamed the Tsars. In fact, the Sofia-based team, which was founded way back in 2016, was named after one of the Russian tsars' palaces, so you may get an idea of how our Stoyne feels about autocratic rule.

Anyway, the Tsars needed a win on the final day of the season to avoid relegation, and as luck (you may define that any way you wish) would have it, they were granted a penalty in the 96th minute of a 1-1 game with Lokomotiv Sofia 1929. Yusupha Yaffa was setting up to take the penalty kick when lovable Stoyne stomped onto the pitch and not only insisted that Martin Kavdanski, the usual spot kicker, take the kick instead, but had Yaffa removed from the field by security.

So of course Kavdanski failed, because this is Bulgarian football, and why else would we be telling you this? Game ends in a draw, Tsarsko Selo is relegated, and our Stoyne handles it all it with the expected grace. In an article published on the team's official (and extremely janky) website, Manolov announced that he would be disbanding the team entirely, explaining that “investing money in Bulgarian football is the easiest way to lose it.”

Finally, though, there is this more existential question. If you had a choice between Stoyne Manolov and Danny Snyder running your favorite team, who would you take? The question is not entirely rhetorical, but we get where you might think so.

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