The Philadelphia 76ers have started their season without Ben Simmons. They’re 3-2. Last week they got throttled by the Knicks and routed the Hawks. Tyrese Maxey has started in place of Simmons, to mixed results. But whatever. This is BenWatch. And Ben is back! We even got live footage of him at practice!
There it is: pristine 144p footage of Ben Simmons lazily riding an exercise bike on the sidelines while holding a basketball. Six thousand people have watched this clip! I have downloaded it and run it through one of those programs that allegedly use artificial intelligence to upscale footage in an attempt to discern any clues from it and … yeah, I got nothing. It’s just Ben Simmons riding a bicycle.
There’s a sense around the league that the Sixers could try to play Simmons at some point during their six-game, road trip from Nov. 13 to Nov. 25, even though the team says there’s no timetable for his return.
The Sixers play the Pacers, Jazz, Nuggets, Blazers, Kings, and Warriors on that road trip. Will Ben Simmons return only to be, say, heckled by Mitt Romney or something? What if Simmons gets into an argument with some San Francisco doofus? Do the Kings still have the “Sign Lady”?
Publicly, though, the Sixers aren’t saying much. When asked about Ben Simmons, Doc Rivers replied: “I don’t even know, honestly.”