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Ray Ratto

Soccer

We All Know Who’s Really Responsible For Barcelona’s Europa League Failure

Capital

We’re Going To Need A Bigger Space Prison

SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA - APRIL 12: Joc Pederson #23 of the San Francisco Giants reacts as passes first base coach Alyssa Nakken after he hit a home run in the eighth inning against the San Diego Padres at Oracle Park on April 12, 2022 in San Francisco, California. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

I Guess Making History Is Cool, But We Could’ve Had Punching

The NBA Got The Play-In Tournament It Deserves

Golf

Tiger Woods Is Back, And Just In Time

NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA - APRIL 04: The Kansas Jayhawks celebrate after defeating the North Carolina Tar Heels 72-69 during the 2022 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament National Championship at Caesars Superdome on April 04, 2022 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)

College Basketball

This Is All So Much Better When It’s Not About The Coaches

SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA - MARCH 30: Chris Paul #3 of the Phoenix Suns shoots over Andrew Wiggins #22 of the Golden State Warriors in the second half at Chase Center on March 30, 2022 in San Francisco, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

What Are The Warriors?

TAMPA, FLORIDA - SEPTEMBER 19: Head coach Bruce Arians and quarterback Tom Brady #12 of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers talk before the game against the Atlanta Falcons at Raymond James Stadium on September 19, 2021 in Tampa, Florida. (Photo by Douglas P. DeFelice/Getty Images)

I Choose To Believe Tom Brady Forced Out Bruce Arians

MLB’s Traveling Home Run Derby Is Very Dumb, Possibly Fun

The NFL’s New Overtime Rule Won’t Make Anything More Fair

The Pegulas Asked For Their Handout At Just The Right Time

Lance Franklin of the Swans celebrates kicking his 1000th career goal during the round two AFL match between the Sydney Swans and the Geelong Cats at Sydney Cricket Ground on March 25, 2022 in Sydney, Australia.

Australian Football

Aussie Rules Fans Storm Field In Celebration Of Lance Franklin’s Scoring Milestone

BALTIMORE, MD - NOVEMBER 19: Louis Angelos (L) and John Angelos (R) of the Baltimore Orioles look on after introducing Mike Elias (C) to the media as the Orioles Executive Vice President and General Manager during a news conference at Oriole Park at Camden Yards on November 19, 2018 in Baltimore, Maryland. (Photo by Rob Carr/Getty Images)

The Cheap Get Cheaper

ATLANTA, GEORGIA - DECEMBER 26: Matt Ryan #2 of the Atlanta Falcons looks on during warm-up before the game against the Detroit Lions at Mercedes-Benz Stadium on December 26, 2021 in Atlanta, Georgia. (Photo by Todd Kirkland/Getty Images)

The QB Carousel Spins At Unsafe Speeds

SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA - JANUARY 15: Sacramento Kings owner Vivek Ranadivé sits court side at the start of the second half of their game against the Dallas Mavericks at Golden 1 Center on January 15, 2020 in Sacramento, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

English Premier League

America’s Most Feckless Owners Want In On Chelsea

A photo of John Clayton. He is sitting in a TV studio, wearing a suit, and smiling.

John Clayton Loved Football More Than You Did

NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 8: (L-R) Tom Holmoe, director of athletics at Brigham Young University, works as the NCAA Basketball Tournament Selection Committee meets on Wednesday afternoon, March 8, 2017 in New York City. The committee is gathered in New York to begin the five-day process of selecting and seeding the field of 68 teams for the NCAA MenÕs Basketball Tournament. The final bracket will be released on Sunday evening following the completion of conference tournaments. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

This March Madness, Consider Suffering In Silence For Once

MINNEAPOLIS, MN - MARCH 16: LeBron James #6 of the Los Angeles Lakers wipes his face in the fourth quarter against the Minnesota Timberwolves at Target Center on March 16, 2022 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The Timberwolves defeated the Lakers 124-104. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this Photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by David Berding/Getty Images)

Which Specific Form Of Lakers Humiliation Are You Rooting For?

ATLANTA, GA - NOVEMBER 05: Atlanta Braves c celebrating following their World Series Parade at Truist Park on November 5, 2021 in Atlanta, Georgia. The Atlanta Braves won the World Series in six games against the Houston Astros winning their first championship since 1995. (Photo by Megan Varner/Getty Images)

The Stove Is Back On And It’s Hot As Hell

SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA - MARCH 16: Stephen Curry #30 of the Golden State Warriors competes for a loose ball against Grant Williams #12 of the Boston Celtics in the first quarter at Chase Center on March 16, 2022 in San Francisco, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Lachlan Cunningham/Getty Images)

The Warriors Were Healthy Just Long Enough To Get Their Hopes Up

OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA - SEPTEMBER 21: Matt Olson #28 and Matt Chapman #26 of the Oakland Athletics celebrate after Olson hit a solo home run against the Seattle Mariners in the bottom of the first inning at RingCentral Coliseum on September 21, 2021 in Oakland, California. (Photo by Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images)

The A’s Have Made A Science Of Giving Up

Chelsea’s Win Felt Mercifully Routine

Death To The NCAA

Will Wade Just Couldn’t Help Himself

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA - FEBRUARY 18: Jack Eichel #9 of the Vegas Golden Knights takes a break during a stop in play in the third period of a game against the Los Angeles Kings at T-Mobile Arena on February 18, 2022 in Las Vegas, Nevada. The Kings defeated the Golden Knights 4-3 in overtime. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

Sabres Fans’ Last Laugh Should Probably Be A Sob

ORLANDO, FLORIDA - FEBRUARY 10: Major League Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred walks to a press conference during an MLB owner's meeting at the Waldorf Astoria on February 10, 2022 in Orlando, Florida. Manfred addressed the ongoing lockout of players, which owners put in place after the league's collective bargaining agreement ended on December 1, 2021. (Photo by Julio Aguilar/Getty Images)