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Ray Ratto

SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA - MARCH 08: Moses Moody #4 of the Golden State Warriors is congratulated by Stephen Curry #30 after scoring and drawing a foul against the Los Angeles Clippers in the second half during an NBA basketball game at Chase Center on March 08, 2022 in San Francisco, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images)

I Suppose What The Warriors Needed All Along Was Will Ferrell

Now Is The Time To Find One MLB Owner To Hate More Than Ever

If LeBron James Can Score 56 Points Every Game, The Lakers Might Be Alright

SUN VALLEY, ID - JULY 12: Rob Manfred, commissioner of Major League Baseball (MLB), attends the annual Allen &amp; Company Sun Valley Conference, July 12, 2019 in Sun Valley, Idaho. Every July, some of the world's most wealthy and powerful businesspeople from the media, finance, and technology spheres converge at the Sun Valley Resort for the exclusive weeklong conference. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

What’s The Price Of Shame?

Everyone Becomes A Loser Eventually

CARSON, CALIFORNIA - FEBRUARY 20: Mallory Pugh #9 of the United States celebrates her goal against New Zealand with teammates during the SheBelieves Cup 2022 at Dignity Health Sports Park on February 20, 2022 in Carson, California. (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

Soccer

U.S. Soccer Got Dragged Kicking And Screaming Into One Good Decision

BALTIMORE, MARYLAND - MAY 12: Kentucky Derby winner and Preakness entrant Medina Spirit is bathed following a training session for the upcoming Preakness Stakes at Pimlico Race Course on May 12, 2021 in Baltimore, Maryland. (Photo by Rob Carr/Getty Images)

Horse Racing

Dead Horse Guilty

PHOENIX, ARIZONA - FEBRUARY 16: Chris Paul #3 of the Phoenix Suns reacts after an injury to his hand and a technical-foul during the second half of the NBA game against the Houston Rockets at Footprint Center on February 16, 2022 in Phoenix, Arizona. The Suns defeated the Rockets 124-121. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)

Chris Paul And The Suns Deserve A Hand

INGLEWOOD, CALIFORNIA - FEBRUARY 13: Eric Weddle #20 of the Los Angeles Rams celebrates after Super Bowl LVI at SoFi Stadium on February 13, 2022 in Inglewood, California. The Los Angeles Rams defeated the Cincinnati Bengals 23-20. (Photo by Steph Chambers/Getty Images)

I’m Not Sure How My Manhood Got Dragged Into This

BEIJING, CHINA - FEBRUARY 15: Kamila Valieva of Team ROC skates during the Women Single Skating Short Program on day eleven of the Beijing 2022 Winter Olympic Games at Capital Indoor Stadium on February 15, 2022 in Beijing, China. (Photo by Justin Setterfield/Getty Images)

Figure Skating

The Kamila Valieva Saga Is Going To Get Weirder Before It Gets Better

ORLANDO, FLORIDA - FEBRUARY 10: Major League Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred answers questions during an MLB owner's meeting at the Waldorf Astoria on February 10, 2022 in Orlando, Florida. Manfred addressed the ongoing lockout of players, which owners put in place after the league's collective bargaining agreement ended on December 1, 2021. (Photo by Julio Aguilar/Getty Images)

Rob Manfred Either Thinks The Owners Are Idiots, Or That You Are

Things Just Got Interesting In The Granato-Ferraro Household

PORTLAND, OREGON - OCTOBER 20: Damian Lillard #0 and CJ McCollum #3 of the Portland Trail Blazers react during the fourth quarter against the Sacramento Kings at Moda Center on October 20, 2021 in Portland, Oregon. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Steph Chambers/Getty Images)

It’s The End Of Something In Portland

WASHINGTON - NOVEMBER 03: National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell, Rob Manfred, executive vice president of labor and human resources in the Office of the Commissioner of Baseball, Major League Baseball, NFL Players Association Executive Director DeMaurice Smith, Michael Weiner, general counsel for the Major League Baseball Players Association, Travis Tygart, CEO of the United States Anti-Doping Agency, Gabriel Feldman, associate professor of law and director of the Sports Law Program at Tulane University Law School, and Jeffrey Standen, professor of law at the Willamette University College of Law (L-R), testify on Capitol Hill on November 3, 2009 in Washington, DC. The hearing focused on doping in professional sports.(Photo by Brendan Hoffman/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Roger Goodell; Rob Manfred; DeMaurice Smith; Michael Weiner; Travis Tygart; Gabriel Feldman; Jeffrey Standen

Capital

Why Do We Need Commissioners Anyway?

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell looks on before the Las Vegas Raiders play against the Los Angeles Chargers at SoFi Stadium on October 4, 2021 in Inglewood, California.

Roger Goodell Re-Re-Re-Re-Re-Reaffirms His Unwavering Commitment To Sending Out New Memos About The Failures Of All His Old Memos

NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE - JANUARY 22: NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell walks on the field before the start of the AFC Divisional Playoff game between the Tennessee Titans and Cincinnati Bengals at Nissan Stadium on January 22, 2022 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Wesley Hitt/Getty Images)

Cool League You’ve Got There

INGLEWOOD, CALIFORNIA - JANUARY 30: Jimmy Garoppolo #10 of the San Francisco 49ers walks off the field after being defeated by the Los Angeles Rams in the NFC Championship Game at SoFi Stadium on January 30, 2022 in Inglewood, California. The Rams defeated the 49ers 20-17. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)

The Jimmy Garoppolo Era Satisfied Nobody

The Bengals Have Their Own Story To Tell

Jim Harbaugh’s Time Will Come Eventually

Not Even Tom Brady Could Play Forever

Fans watch from behind an extra sheet of plexy-glass, designed for greater protection, during the first period of the NHL game between the St. Louis Blues and the Arizona Coyotes at Gila River Arena on February 15, 2021 in Glendale, Arizona. The stands are mostly empty.

The Arizona Coyotes Consider Disappearing Before Our Very Eyes

A Spalding ball sits on the court during the game between the Atlanta Hawks and the Houston Rockets at Philips Arena on November 20, 2009 in Atlanta, Georgia.

Some Basketball You Don’t Need To See To Comprehend

TARRYTOWN, NEW YORK - JUNE 13: Barry Bonds attends the 145th Annual Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show on June 13, 2021 in Tarrytown, New York. Spectators are not allowed to attend this year, apart from dog owners and handlers, because of safety protocols due to Covid-19. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

To Hell With It All

GLENDALE, ARIZONA - JANUARY 17: Brett Kulak #77, Alexander Romanov #27 and Cole Caufield #22 of the Montreal Canadiens skate off the ice following the NHL game against the Arizona Coyotes at Gila River Arena on January 17, 2022 in Glendale, Arizona. The Coyotes defeated the Canadiens 5-2. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)

How To Go First-To-Worst

SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA - JANUARY 18: Stephen Curry #30 of the Golden State Warriors runs around his teammates during player introductions before their game against the Detroit Pistons at Chase Center on January 18, 2022 in San Francisco, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)