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Defector

<p>Columnist. Author of many <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Drew-Magary/e/B001JS8R52/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1">fine works of literature</a>, including <em>Point B</em>. Handsomest man in the world.</p>


Drew Magary

PHILADELPHIA, PA - JULY 29: Head coach Nick Sirianni of the Philadelphia Eagles fist bumps Genard Avery #58 during training camp at the NovaCare Complex on July 29, 2021 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Mitchell Leff/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Philadelphia Eagles

CINCINNATI, OHIO - JULY 28: Joe Burrow #9 of the Cincinnati Bengals calls out instructions during training camp on July 28, 2021 in Cincinnati, Ohio. (Photo by Dylan Buell/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Cincinnati Bengals

FLOWERY BRANCH, GA - JULY 29: Team owner Arthur Blank (l) of the Atlanta Falcons walks toward Head Coach Arthur Smith on the first day of training camp at IBM Performance Field on July 29, 2021 in Flowery Branch, Georgia. (Photo by Edward M. Pio Roda/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Atlanta Falcons

Jack Easterby speaks onstage during the 16th Annual Super Bowl Gospel Celebration at ASU Gammage on January 30, 2015 in Tempe, Arizona.

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Houston Texans

SAN FRANCISCO - MARCH 25: A man walks past a sculpture of a bow and arrow near the San Francisco Bay Bridge March 25, 2005 in San Francisco, California. San Francisco's 49-Mile Scenic Drive was opened in 1939 as a guide for visitors to The City's 1939-1940 Golden Gate International Exposition. The route includes most of San Francisco's major sights as well as winding through many of the city's colorful neighborhoods; giving visitors a look into the diversity and beauty of the area. (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

Podcasts

An Overdue Heart-To-Heart, With AJ Daulerio

FLORHAM PARK, NJ - JULY 28: Michael Carter #32, Jarrad Davis #52 and Del'Shawn Phillips #43 of the New York Jets during morning practice at Atlantic Health Jets Training Center on July 28, 2021 in Florham Park, New Jersey. (Photo by Rich Schultz/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: New York Jets

JACKSONVILLE, FLORIDA - MAY 15: Head coach of the Jacksonville Jaguars Urban Meyer watches the action during Jacksonville Jaguars Training Camp at TIAA Bank Field on May 15, 2021 in Jacksonville, Florida. (Photo by Sam Greenwood/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Jacksonville Jaguars

BENIDORM, SPAIN - JULY 22: People sunbathe at Levante Beach on July 22, 2015 in Benidorm, Spain. Spain has set a new record for visitors, with 29.2 million visitors in June, 4.2% more than the same period in 2014. Spain is also expected to be the main destination of tourists seeking a value-for-money all-inclusive holiday after the Tunisia attack. (Photo by David Ramos/Getty Images)

Funbag

I Went To The Beach And All I Got Was This Petty Existential Rage

DALLAS, TEXAS - OCTOBER 12: A general view of play between the Texas Longhorns and the Oklahoma Sooners during the 2019 AT&T Red River Showdown at Cotton Bowl on October 12, 2019 in Dallas, Texas. (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

College Football

A Bigger SEC Is Better Football

OSKALOOSA, IOWA - JANUARY 25: Democratic presidential candidate Andrew Yang plays mini-golf after holding a town hall meeting at Penn Central Mall January 25, 2020 in Oskaloosa, Iowa. While three of the top-polling Democratic presidential candidates are U.S. Senators and must be in Washington for the impeachment trial of President Donald Trump, millionaire businessman Yang continues to campaign across Iowa ahead of its all-important caucuses scheduled for February 03. (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

No, You Couldn’t Beat A Pro Golfer At Minigolf

Do Any NBA Players Smoke Cigarettes?

MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN - JULY 11: ESPN analyst Stephen A. Smith during Game Three of the NBA Finals between the Milwaukee Bucks and the Phoenix Suns at Fiserv Forum on July 11, 2021 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Justin Casterline/Getty Images)

Media Meltdowns

This Is What Happens When ESPN Only Has One Pundit

England's forward Harry Kane celebrates with England's forward Raheem Sterling (L) after scoring third goal during the UEFA EURO 2020 quarter-final football match between Ukraine and England at the Olympic Stadium in Rome on July 3, 2021.

Soccer

IF YEW DON’T FINK ISS COMIN ‘OME I HAVE NEWS: ISS COMIN’ ‘OME!

A Completely Useless Guide To Switching Careers

There Are A Million Ways To Avoid Calling Yourself An Alcoholic

393787 01: Hector Ofunio applies suntan lotion to the back of his friend Leandro Munoz August 28, 2001 at the beach on Key Biscayne, Florida. (Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

Elder Wisdom

Lemme Explain The Sunscreen

Journalismism

Frank Bruni, I’m Not Sorry

Amazon Founder and CEO Jeff Bezos talks about his 'Blue Origin Space Program' during a keynote session at the Amazon Re:MARS conference on robotics and artificial intelligence at the Aria Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada on June 6, 2019. (Photo by Mark RALSTON / AFP) (Photo by MARK RALSTON/AFP via Getty Images)

Science

You Call This Going To Space, Jeff Bezos?

on September 22, 2012 in Ruesselsheim, Germany.

Parental Screen Angst Is A Disease

CEO of Amazon Jeff Bezos (R) gestures during the Amazon's annual Smbhav event in New Delhi on January 15, 2020. - Bezos, whose worth has been estimated at more than $110 billion, is officially in India for a meeting of business leaders in New Delhi. (Photo by Sajjad HUSSAIN / AFP) (Photo by SAJJAD HUSSAIN/AFP via Getty Images)

The Dream Is To Be A Boring Asshole

An interior view of a bathroom with matching flowered wallpaper and shower curtain and blue sink, bathtub, toilet, and tiles, circa 1985. (Photo by Frederic Lewis/Getty Images)

Can I Take A Shit At An Open House?

The crew of NASA's STS-30 mission pose in front of the mid-deck starboard wall-mounted sleep restraints on the Space Shuttle Atlantis (Orbiter Vehicle OV 104), 8th May 1989. Clockwise from top right, they are Commander David M Walker, mission specialists Mary L Cleave, Mark C Lee and Norman E Thagard, and pilot Ronald J Grabe. They are wearing red, white and blue mission polo shirts and light blue flight overalls. (Photo by Space Frontiers/Getty Images)

Life Lessons

I Think I’m Done With T-Shirts

attends Kevin Hart hosts Mohegan Sun's 20th Anniversary Comedy All-Star Gala starring Sarah Silverman, Dave Attell, Margaret Cho &amp; more at Mohegan Sun on October 14, 2016 in Uncasville, Connecticut.

Dadfector

I Have Passed On To My 9-Year-Old A Love Of Dirty Comedians

I’m Worried People Might Get The Wrong Impression From My Satanist Tattoo

NEW ZEALAND - SEPTEMBER 09: Nelson Bays Brett Wallace extracts himself from the mud in his teams 2026 loss to Bay of Plenty in the Air New Zealand NPC second division match at Trafalgar Park, Nelson, Saturday. (Photo by Ross Land/Getty Images)