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Defector

Barry Petchesky

Sports Highlight Of The Day

The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is: Boat

SAN DIEGO, CA - SEPTEMBER 14: Fernando Tatis Jr. #23 of the San Diego Padres reacts after taking a strike during the third inning of a baseball game against the Los Angeles Dodgers at Petco Park on September 14, 2020 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Denis Poroy/Getty Images)

Fernando Tatis Jr. Makes It Obvious

Dutch skater Henk Angenent (C/red/black) is followed by others as he glides across ice on a canal at Hindeloopen on February 14, 2021, as he attempts the 'Elfstedentocht' in the Netherlands' province of Friesland. - Angenent a farmer, who was winner of the last edition of the 'Elfstedentocht' in 1997, which is an organised 200-kilometre skating tour along the 11 Frisian towns and has been adapted to comly with restrictions as part of the ongoing coronavirus (Covid-19) pandemic. (Photo by ROBIN VAN LONKHUIJSEN / ANP / AFP) / Netherlands OUT (Photo by ROBIN VAN LONKHUIJSEN/ANP/AFP via Getty Images)

Life's Rich Pageant

We Have Been Deprived Of The Elfstedentocht For Far Too Long

Patrick Mahomes Never Had A Chance

KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI - AUGUST 19: Starting pitcher Trevor Bauer #27 of the Cincinnati Reds pitches during the first inning of game two of a doubleheader against the Kansas City Royals at Kauffman Stadium on August 19, 2020 in Kansas City, Missouri. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)

Media Meltdowns

Bob! Bob. Hey Bob. Bob, C’mon. Bob? UPDATE: BOB!!!

BUFFALO, NY - JANUARY 26: Tony DeAngelo #77 of the New York Rangers during the game against the Buffalo Sabres at KeyBank Center on January 26 , 2021 in Buffalo, New York. (Photo by Kevin Hoffman/Getty Images)

Tony DeAngelo Finally Crossed The Line

A group of office workers using telephone headsets and computers circa 1965 (Photo by Authenticated News/Archive Photos/Getty Images)

Staff Chat

Take A Load Off And Chat With The Defector Staff

MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA - OCTOBER 07: Adam Ottavino #0 of the New York Yankees is pulled after walking Nelson Cruz #23 of the Minnesota Twins in game three of the American League Division Series at Target Field on October 07, 2019 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

MLB Has A Salary Cap

DURHAM, NORTH CAROLINA - MARCH 07: Head coach Mike Krzyzewski of the Duke Blue Devils reacts during the second half of their game against the North Carolina Tar Heels at Cameron Indoor Stadium on March 07, 2020 in Durham, North Carolina. Duke won 89-76. (Photo by Grant Halverson/Getty Images)

College Basketball

Coach K Decides Maybe He Shouldn’t Have Belittled Student Reporter

SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA - JANUARY 09: Pierre-Luc Dubois #18 of the Columbus Blue Jackets stops on the ice during their game against the San Jose Sharks at SAP Center on January 09, 2020 in San Jose, California. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

Pierre-Luc Dubois: Coming Soon To A Non–Blue Jacket Team Near You

at Sun Life Stadium on October 25, 2015 in Miami Gardens, Florida.

Dan Campbell Isn’t Here To Do Fancy Things Like “Call Plays”

BUFFALO, NY - FEBRUARY 23: Patrik Laine #29 of the Winnipeg Jets during a game against the Buffalo Sabres at KeyBank Center on February 23, 2020 in Buffalo, New York. (Photo by Timothy T Ludwig/Getty Images)

Patrik Laine Might Just Play His Way Out Of Winnipeg

Defector Up All Night

Watch The DH Needle For Up-To-The-Moment DH Results

PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA - JANUARY 03: Quarterback Nate Sudfeld #7 of the Philadelphia Eagles is tackled by linemen Cole Holcomb #55, Jon Bostic #53 and Jimmy Moreland #20 of the Washington Football Team in the fourth quarter of the game at Lincoln Financial Field on January 03, 2021 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Mitchell Leff/Getty Images)

That Was The Perfect Ending For A Perfectly Shitty Division

A member of the Ripoll Taberner family minces meat during the annual tradition of the pig slaughter (matanza de cerdo) in Llucmajor on the Spanish Balearic Island of Mallorca on November 23, 2020. - For the traditional slaughter, a pig is fattened up for a year and then killed on a cold day to ensure the best conservation of the "sobrasada" sausages. (Photo by JAIME REINA / AFP) (Photo by JAIME REINA/AFP via Getty Images)

Year In Review

What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?

ORCHARD PARK, NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 13: Frank Gore #21 of the New York Jets leaves the field following a game against the Buffalo Bills at Bills Stadium on September 13, 2020 in Orchard Park, New York. (Photo by Stacy Revere/Getty Images)

Frank Gore Kept Running

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?

SECAUCUS, NEW JERSEY - OCTOBER 06: NHL commissioner Gary Bettman prepares for the first round of the 2020 National Hockey League Draft at the NHL Network Studio on October 06, 2020 in Secaucus, New Jersey. (Photo by Mike Stobe/Getty Images)

Hockey Back

FOXBOROUGH, MASSACHUSETTS - OCTOBER 25: Head coach Bill Belichick of the New England Patriots looks on from the sideline during the game against the San Francisco 49ers at Gillette Stadium on October 25, 2020 in Foxborough, Massachusetts. (Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images)

Newspaper Columnist Does His Job

BALTIMORE, MARYLAND - NOVEMBER 22: Dez Bryant #88 of the Baltimore Ravens runs after a catch against the Baltimore Ravens during the game at M&amp;T Bank Stadium on November 22, 2020 in Baltimore, Maryland. (Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images)

Dez Bryant Is Back

Joe Burrow Carted Off With Knee Injury

visits the SiriusXM set at Super Bowl 50 Radio Row at the Moscone Center on February 5, 2016 in San Francisco, California.

What Are We Even Doing Here, Man

TAMPA, FLORIDA - NOVEMBER 08: Taysom Hill #7 of the New Orleans Saints prepares to take a snap during the second half against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Raymond James Stadium on November 08, 2020 in Tampa, Florida. (Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)

It’s Taysom Hill Day

NEWARK, NEW JERSEY - NOVEMBER 26: Zach Parise #11 of the Minnesota Wild plays against the New Jersey Devils at the Prudential Center on November 26, 2019 in Newark, New Jersey. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

Zach Parise Designed A Hat

CHICAGO, IL - OCTOBER 09: during game three of the National League Division Series at Wrigley Field on October 9, 2017 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)