Before the pandemic, Zakiya Gibbons was everywhere, all the time. Whenever I saw her, she was on her way to another engagement she’d double stacked that day. She’s a people person. A textbook extrovert. But she lived alone during the pandemic, and like a lot of people, all that alone time made her a little neurotic. Suddenly, going on dates started to feel draining, and she experienced a social anxiety she didn’t recognize in herself. About a year ago, she quit dating apps altogether and decided to spend some time alone.
Now she’s ready to get back out there, but she’s found herself in a new predicament: she keeps finding herself on dates with men because they are what she calls a “low-hanging fruit.” As a bisexual woman, she’s way more comfortable slipping into the gender roles expected from a hetero pairing, but there’s a part of her that doesn’t quite recognize herself in these relationships, either. She wants to do more queer dating, but she feels rusty, and this newfound social anxiety makes it feel so much scarier.
On the latest episode of Try Hard, Zakiya attempts to work through the imposter syndrome she’s having about presenting as “queer enough." After a talk with Myisha Battle of How’s Your Sex Life Zakiya decides its time to try queer speed dating in Brooklyn!
A transcript of the episode can be found here.
You can listen to Try Hard wherever you get your podcasts: RSS here, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify (if you must). Send me voice memos of the things you're trying at podcasts@defector.com or message me on Instagram @alexlaughs.
