You’d Duck Too

It's time for the NHL Global Series, not to be confused with the Stadium Series, itself not to be confused with the Heritage Classic, or god forbid the Winter Classic. Four teams are in Stockholm, Sweden, which I'm sure is fun for them and means afternoon games for us. Did you know the Stockholm arena is named after the late DJ Avicii? And did you know it was the largest sphere in the world until the opening of The Sphere in Las Vegas? And did you know Avicii Arena represents the Sun in the world's largest scale model of the Solar System, which stretches north of the Arctic Circle? Hockey is for learning.

Anyway, the Senators beat the Red Wings 5-4 in overtime in Stockholm on Thursday in a very silly game. Ottawa's four consecutive goals were matched by Detroit's, all within the first two periods. Tim Stützle decided things at 4:58 of OT, batting a deflected puck out of the air past James Reimer for the Sens victory.

Reimer is catching some mild shit for literally ducking under the puck, and here I would like to present the "being a goalie sucks" defense on his behalf. Being a goalie sucks! It's painful and sweaty and people mostly only notice you when you mess up. Guys are sending 100-mph pucks at you several dozen times per game, and you're expected to ignore every reflex screaming up and down your nervous system to remove yourself from harm's way. Don't even try to tell me that if you suddenly glanced to your right and a player was a few feet away winding up his stick looking for all the world like he's about to go McSorley mode on you, you wouldn't duck. You would. You'd duck.

"I hate watching baseball. I think it’s pretty boring.” Stützle said. Being a catcher sucks too.