Underexplained Predictions For 2026

This is what's going to happen in 2026, according to the Defector staff.

Kelsey McKinney

• The AI bubble bursts.
• Americans become even more obsessed with Canada.
• Baked potatoes!!!

Barry Petchesky

• The viral animal of 2026 will be the marmot.
• Stage magic is going to have a big year.
• A blimp will make the news.

Ray Ratto

• Notre Dame football becomes its own official conference, which it wins by virtue of being the only member and therefore gets a playoff spot in perpetuity; the G4 and G5 are adjusted to the G2 and The Outworlders, to keep out riffraff like the Big 12 and ACC; and the selection committee is now kept in a room for four months and not allowed to watch any games or do any research to more convincingly explain its decisions.
• The Las Vegas Raiders sign Aaron Rodgers. As long as the Raiders exist, any player on any other team has not reached the end of his career opportunities.
• Shohei Ohtani wins the Walter Payton Award, the Michael Jordan Trophy, the Lady Byng Trophy, the Nobel Prize in physics, and Best Supporting Actor for his role in the new Peaky Blinders movie, in which he speaks impeccable English for two hours and then needs an interpreter when he goes back to the Dodgers.

Samer Kalaf

• The Rizzler is implicated in a crypto scheme and ordered to appear before Congress.
• Timothée Chalamet hangs around an NBA team's training camp and puts up some shots, kicking off a week of bad sports debates and Master P nostalgia, fully feeding into the press cycle for whatever movie he's promoting at the time.
• A sitting U.S. Senator dies (not sure which one).

Drew Magary

• The 2026 word of the year will be “vajayjay.”
• All of my closest friends are on edge about what AI might mean for the future of this country and their children! But their fears will be assuaged when they stumble upon an AI-created commercial for Clamato that will tug at their heartstrings as capably as Steven Spielberg once might have.
• I won’t be able to find pearl onions at the Citarella market. Again.

Patrick Redford

• The pants have gotten as big as they will; the pants will get smaller.
• Yoga has a moment, again.
• This will be a big year for leeks.

Tom Ley

• A member of Congress will propose a national pit bull ban.
• A vessel of import will be lost at sea.
• Erika Kirk will get a pixie cut.

Sabrina Imbler

• Elizabethan collars are IN (for humans).
• A TikTok astrologer’s prediction of a meteor strike becomes the next Y2K.
• A Club Penguin movie is announced, featuring Mae Martin as the voice of “Puffle.”

Chris Thompson

• Mike Score hairdos will become a thing.
• "Bolus" will be the word of the year.
• Bryan Johnson will be arrested and charged with at least one felony.

Alex Sujong Laughlin

• A fashion trend informed by body horror.
• Taylor Swift pregnancy announcement.
• CDs and CD players are the new cassettes.

Kathryn Xu

• Pomelos have a pomegranate moment and become the de facto twee fruit (in salads; as shape for hair clips found in shoppy shops).
• A sports commentator says “yaoi” live on air.
• The cookie-restaurant bubble collapses.

Giri Nathan

• Militant unitasking is in.
• Saudi Arabia blocks extradition of MrBeast.
• Tamarind has its gochujang moment.

Israel Daramola

• The return of DIY scenes. We're making zines, we're going to shows at rundown venues you've never heard of, we are OUTSIDE.
• I will be invited to a whole lot of dinner parties, or at least attempts at successful dinner parties. 
• LeBron finally retires.