Skip to Content
This Is So Stupid

Shams Charania’s Metaphors Don’t Make Sense In A Drawing Either

Someone please put out a missing-person report for Shams Charania's editor. That can be the only explanation for the beginning of his article on the Kyrie Irving trade. This has to be a new record for the most metaphors in one paragraph:

When Kyrie Irving demanded a trade from the Brooklyn Nets on Friday, a league-altering domino fell and shook up the marketplace, causing a shockwave across the league and an arms race to get underway. It would pit several of the league’s teams looking for that one difference-making piece that could get them to the top of the list of title contenders against each other.

The Athletic

Let's try to track that word by word. The fall of what was presumably a very large domino (not the first time Shams has used that) altered the league and shook up the marketplace, and also sent a shockwave across the league. This left the league both altered and shaken. Additionally, this shockwave triggered an arms race among several teams, and they were collecting arms so that they could look for ... one piece that would not only make a difference, but get them to the top of the list ... of title contenders. Against each other. It's far too early to call the 2023 Shamsy, but this feels like the new syntax to beat.

It might be that what Charania was going for here couldn't be properly represented by the restrictive medium of words. To better understand this incredible paragraph, I tried to draw it. In my head, all these simultaneous metaphors reminded me of The Garden of Earthly Delights. It's not my best work, but it's fair to say that I put as much effort into this as Charania puts into converting his scoops into articles.

Illustration by the author

H/t to John

If you liked this blog, please share it! Your referrals help Defector reach new readers, and those new readers always get a few free blogs before encountering our paywall.

Stay in touch

Sign up for our free newsletter