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Life's Rich Pageant

Rudy Giuliani Has Borrowed A Smaller Man’s Khakis And Is Ready To Talk Golf

Rudy Giuliani looking weird on a golf course
Image via @RudyGiuliani

Fresh off his televised appearance on The Masked Singer, former mayor-turned-goon Rudy Giuliani is ready to make videos for you. Since he can’t technically practice law in New York or Washington D.C., he has pivoted to being a man who will talk about anything, for the right price. Wow, he sure is having a blast at this golf course! What if you paid him money to talk about it?

Giuliani’s shorts really enhance the proportions of everything else in the video. His weird pendulum swing takes up more of the frame than the rest of him, only drawing more attention to the shorts. Very big shorts; on second thought, they may actually be a smaller man’s pants.

Rudy Giuliani’s appearance, combined with his practice golf swing, makes him look like something that would hunt a couple of kids in their own house in a Joe Dante movie. If you saw a guy like this in your path in a video game, you would jump on his head once and then he’d start moving at 2x speed. He looks like a guy who would serve eviction papers to the Keebler Elves, or file a nuisance complaint against the Smurfs. It’s probably for the best that we won’t get his CNN+ reboot of Dorf on Golf.

You can have this little goblin talk golf in a video for you, starting at $375. Or maybe not, since he deleted his helpful tweet which included this video and a URL: RudyGiuliani/cameo.com.