J.J. McCarthy Sucks

I’ve seen enough of J.J. McCarthy. On a weekend where draftmates Bo Nix and Drake Maye assumed full command of the AFC, there was the Vikings quarterback playing football as if he had acute lead poisoning. I’m gonna try to describe McCarthy’s performance in the space below, but really words don’t do it proper injustice. You had to watch. You had to sit there for three miserable hours, beholding a game in which McCarthy gave the home crowd exactly one moment worth cheering for. And then you had to spend the rest of your day feeling utterly empty, as if you’d just wasted entire years of your existence.  

The particulars: Minnesota lost at home to the streaking Chicago Bears. With a negative net point differential atop their résumé, the Bears are no one’s idea of a real Super Bowl threat. Lucky for them, they were playing against a fella who is no longer anyone’s idea of a real NFL quarterback. Like Bears QB Caleb Williams, McCarthy only completed 16 of 32 pass attempts yesterday. But that’s where the similarities end. Where Williams looked resourceful, McCarthy looked lost. Where Williams looked like the unquestioned leader of his team, McCarthy looked like the fucking water boy. His mechanics were nonexistent, as was his touch. He was picked off twice. He was unable to complete easy passes from a clean pocket. He failed to prosper from a (for once) effective Vikings running attack. And when he missed, he did so with a frighteningly Tebow-esque flair. When I, the viewer at home, know a pass will be incomplete just from how it leaves the QB’s hand, that’s never a good sign.

McCarthy threw many such passes yesterday. It wasn’t just ugly to watch, it was uncomfortable to watch. A football snuff film. McCarthy’s yips were so pronounced that they became contagious. Vikings receivers dropped five passes yesterday. But even those should be blamed on McCarthy, because his receivers had no idea what kind of ball was coming their way. Could’ve been a 110 mph fastball, could’ve been a floater aimed for the loge seats. When you have no confidence in your QB, your hands follow suit. The Bears, operating with a severely depleted backfield, have one of the worst pass defenses in the NFL. It didn’t matter. All they had to do was let McCarthy fail, and he did. Over and over again.

There was a split second in which it seemed as if nothing I just told you would matter. During Minnesota’s final drive, the light went on and McCarthy was able to string together five straight completions. With under a minute to go, he hit wideout Jordan Addison in the end zone to the tie game up. When Vikes kicker Will Reichard hit the extra point to make the game 17–16, it looked as if McCarthy has staged a repeat of his Week 1 performance in Chicago: terrible all game long, good when his team needed it the most. That’s been the the brochure copy on McCarthy since his time at Michigan: it’s not always pretty, but the kid just finds a way to win.

Then Bears kick returner Devin Duvernay returned the ensuing kickoff 56 yards, Cairo Santos booted a game-winner from 48 yards out, and the Vikings lost anyway.

If I were an even bigger sap than I am now, I could ignore that outcome and cite McCarthy’s last drive as a clear reason to keep the faith. That’s what I did after Week 1, after all. McCarthy is only 22 years old. He’s only started five games, and two of those came behind a patchwork O-line. It's too soon to render a verdict on this young man right now! He’s only just begun his QB journey, as Vikings coach Kevin O’Connell would say. O’Connell probably spent all last night whispering “his journey has only just begun” to himself over and over again.

Because already, every explanation for McCarthy’s awful play feels more like an excuse. He laid an egg against the Falcons because he had no time to throw. He looked like shit against Baltimore because his head coach kept ordering him to throw the ball. Actually, he still needs another offseason to develop, because injuries prevented him from having a full 2025 offseason. I could invest in all of those excuses. But I’ve spent 30-plus years talking myself into whoever is playing QB for this team, so I know when I’m lying to myself. I know when I’m trying to make a meal out of cracker crumbs. So do the metrics:

Through five games, McCarthy has completed just 52.8% of his passes and has as QB rating of 61.8. In the last 20 years, there have been 105 quarterbacks to throw at least 100 passes in their first five games. McCarthy ranks 94th in completion percentage and 92nd in passer rating.

The eye test does McCarthy no additional favors. His visible accuracy in every start has proven to be toilet grade. He’s been unable to establish a consistent rapport with any of his pass catchers, one of whom if Justin goddamn Jefferson. He can’t throw passes to his left. And he still hasn’t won a game in front of the home fans.

That last factoid is the most galling one of all, because most Vikings fans have been waiting their whole lives for a legit franchise QB to call their own. That’s why the team’s brain trust laid out a detailed plan for J.J. McCarthy that began years before they’d even drafted him: clean up the cap room, draft a big-time QB prospect in the top 10, and surround him with talent both on the field and on the sideline. It was a good plan, one that both the Vikings and their fans believed in.

That’s why the team eschewed the chance to play an imported veteran behind center in 2025, Sam Darnold foremost among them. Because McCarthy had flashed in the 2024 preseason, and because the coaching staff raved about him at every turn, Vikings fans weren’t just aboard with the decision to ride with the second year man, but elated with it. They couldn’t wait to see this new guy walk into the stadium and become the next Fran Tarkenton. They were ready to detonate. You could feel it, even if you weren’t in the stadium yourself.

Their patience went unrewarded. Punished, even.

Because the J.J. McCarthy I watched yesterday wasn’t playable. Yes they could—and likely will—start McCarthy for the rest of the season just to “see what they have.” That’s what every good Vikings beat guy is calling for, and it was always the Plan B that I was in favor of in case the team fell out of contention, which is now. Play out the string, see if your handpicked QB shows a pulse, and make your offseason plans accordingly.

But there are still two months to go in this season, and there are still 52 other guys on the Vikings roster to consider here. Jefferson’s body language spoke for all of them yesterday:

That’s the face of a man who already knows what he’s got in his QB. They all know, and now I do too: the kid is a lemon.

There’s nothing in the cupboard behind McCarthy, save for rookie undrafted free agent Max Brosmer and recent addition John Wolford. Neither of those backups will make a difference for Minnesota’s prospects, be it 2025 or beyond. But there’s every chance that one of McCarthy’s replacements can at least do basic QB shit. There’s every chance they can at least keep the rest of the Vikings’ offense from staging an open mutiny, so that the team doesn't fall apart more than it already has. And that, well above McCarthy’s development, should be Minnesota’s priority. Because J.J. McCarthy isn’t getting better, and he’s given little indication that he ever will.