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I Did So Many Things While Houston And Seattle Failed To Score

Game three of the American League Division Series between the Houston Astros and the Seattle Mariners enters the seventeenth inning without a run at T-Mobile Park on October 15, 2022 in Seattle, Washington.
Steph Chambers/Getty Images

Since I knew that I was working a Sunday shift on the blog today, I planned my Saturday around watching as much of the MLB playoffs as possible. The day started off well in that regard, as the Philadelphia Phillies took control of Game 4 against the Atlanta Braves, with the initial barrage capped by former Miami Marlins Legend J.T. Realmuto hitting the first catcher inside-the-park home run in playoff history.

I do not really like the Atlanta Braves, so this was fine with me. The second playoff game of the day started not too long after Realmuto's dinger—can you call an inside-the-park home run a dinger?—and I had similar rooting interests. I do not really like the Houston Astros, either, and the Seattle Mariners are scrappy and fun in the way that not-that-good teams often are, and had, until running into the Astros, a faint team-of-destiny sense that not-that-good teams sometimes acquire in the postseason. I was hopeful that Seattle would extend its postseason stay at least a little longer with a win on Saturday after dropping the first two games in Houston. Well, extend their postseason they did: It took six hours, 22 minutes, and 18 innings for the Mariners to finally, mercifully, be put to rest.

In the time from first pitch until Seattle's final out, I had myself an entire weekend day. How could I not? Six hours is a long time. You can watch both The Fellowship of the Ring and The Two Towers in that time, and still have some minutes to spare. I did not do that, though—I absolutely would, but I had other plans. Here are the things I did do in the time that it took Houston to score what would end up being the series-deciding run.

4:16 p.m. ET: After Drew mentioned in Slack that Alabama was on the ropes, I began to check in on that game on my phone; at that point, it was 21-7 Tennessee. We will come back to this.

4:25 p.m. ET: I had been watching the Phillies-Braves game since just before J.T. Realmuto's inside-the-park home run. It had stayed close since then, but it was around this time that Philadelphia broke open a 4-2 game, starting with Rhys Hoskins's two-out RBI blooper.

4:31 p.m. ET: I got hungry, and since we still had three hours until dinner, I put two frozen French bread pizzas into our new air fryer. They were not fully cooked when I took them out, so I put them back in for another five minutes.

They were fine.

4:41 p.m. ET: Since the Phillies game seemed safely in hand, I played a game of Hearthstone on my phone. I played as Reno Jackson, and got second place playing a Pirates build. You never want to play a Pirates build on your phone.

5:26 p.m. ET: The Phillies eliminated the Braves. I switched my brain over to Alabama-Tennessee. I probably do not need to mention that the Astros and Mariners were still in a scoreless tie.

5:55 p.m. ET: There was a lull in my attention towards all of the sports, so I went to take a shower and get ready for dinner. My partner and I had 7:45 p.m. reservations at Greenpoint Fish & Lobster to celebrate her new job.

7 p.m. ET: Checking back in on Astros-Mariners while brushing my teeth. Still no runs.

7:34 p.m. ET: While walking to dinner, I got to spend a few minutes as the annoying man streaming the end of the Alabama-Tennessee game on my phone. This is not who you want to find yourself being, really, but I got to see Alabama's Will Reichard miss his potentially game-winning 50-yard kick, and the Hendon Hooker-to-Bru McCoy heave that put Tennessee in position to kick a game-winning field goal of their own, and of course, one of the butt-ugliest but most satisfying game-winning field goals I've ever seen:

7:45 p.m. ET: Dinner! It was lovely, we got the following: a bottle of bubbly, a half-dozen oysters, an order of crudo, fish cakes (too much tartar sauce, weirdly), a side of shishito peppers, and this beast of a whole steamed lobster:

Luis Paez-Pumar

8:57 p.m. ET: We got key lime pie on the house, which was nice. I am not a huge fan of key lime pie, despite being from Florida. This one was pretty good, I thought.

9:10 p.m. ET: On the walk home from dinner, we ran into Friend of the Program and former Splinter editor-in-chief Aleks Chan at a bar nearby. I found out said bar has karaoke now. Saving that information for later.

9:30 p.m. ET: At this point, I believe that the Astros and Mariners were in the 15th inning, give or take. The game had expanded to fill pretty much an entire Saturday at this point.

10:00 p.m. ET: My partner went to give the puppy his nighttime walk. She was convinced that the game would end during said walk.

10:10 p.m. ET: They return from the walk; the score is still 0-0.

10:12 p.m. ET: Finally, freedom.

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