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Here Is A Passionate And Not At All Coerced Christian Pulisic Recap Post

Christian Pulisic of USA scores their side's second goal past Conor Hazard of Northern Ireland during the International Friendly between Northern Ireland and USA at Windsor Park on March 28, 2021 in Belfast, Northern Ireland.
Photo by Charles McQuillan/Getty Images

Because Comrade Haisley is the editor on duty today, we are obligated to type something mildly substantial with the words “Christian” and “Pulisic” included in the text because our pal would totally turn in fabricated evidence against his entire family for three minutes with the great one. So here is his beloved, the Pulisic Himself, playing for your country (my country is the Duchy of Grand Fenwick, so leave me out of this) against Northern Ireland. The Americans have been awarded a penalty and here is the result:

Success, even if it is eminently mockable. The USMNT went on to win the match, 2–1. The sentence “The nation’s footballing poster boy stepped up to the plate and somehow managed to hit the back of the net with a respectfully very poor spot-kick” says it all. As Comrade Haisley said, “Even the best need a little luck sometimes.” Thus, love is sometimes blind forgiveness even in the face of the evidence.

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