Rice. It's the most popular, and also the most essential, foodstuff in the world. But what if I told you that not all rice is created equal? What if I told you that some grains of rice are, flavor-wise, demonstrably superior to others? Might it anger you if I were to rank the rices for eternal posterity? Yes?

Tough shit. This list is now law.

1. Glutinous (also known as sticky rice)
2. Basmati
3. Jasmine
4. Bomba
5. Black
6. Arborio
7. White
8. Wild
9. Fuck you
10. Brown