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Stefan Spirovski of North Macedonia celebrates their side's victory as Joao Pedro Galvao of Italy looks dejected after the 2022 FIFA World Cup Qualifier knockout round play-off match between Italy and North Macedonia at Stadio Renzo Barbera on March 24, 2022 in Palermo, Italy.

Oops, Italy Did It Again!

Patrick Redford

ST PAUL, MN - OCTOBER 26: Carli Lloyd #10 of United States warms up before the start of the game against Korea Republic at Allianz Field on October 26, 2021 in St Paul, Minnesota. United States defeated Korea Republic 6-0. (Photo by David Berding/Getty Images)

Carli Lloyd, What Are You Even Talking About?

ST. PAUL, MN - FEBRUARY 02: Luca de la Torre #17 of the United States dribbles the ball against Honduras in the first half of a World Cup Qualifying game at Allianz Field on February 2, 2022 in St. Paul, Minnesota. The United States defeated Honduras 3-0. (Photo by David Berding/Getty Images)

What Is This USMNT Guy’s Deal: Luca De La Torre

Laura Wagner

FRISCO, TEXAS - FEBRUARY 23: Mallory Pugh #9 of the USA celebrates with Ashley Sanchez #13 and Catarina Macario #20 after scoring against Iceland in the second half during the 2022 SheBelieves Cup at Toyota Stadium on February 23, 2022 in Frisco, Texas.

It’s Time To Get Excited About The USWNT Youngsters

Billy Haisley

Meikayla Moore of New Zealand hunches over after scoring her third own goal of the game against the USWNT.

Poor New Zealand Defender Scores A Devil’s Hat-Trick For The USWNT

Senegal's forward Sadio Mane looks at the trophy prior to the ceremony after winning after the Africa Cup of Nations (CAN) 2021 final football match between Senegal and Egypt at Stade d'Olembe in Yaounde on February 6, 2022.

Sadio Mané Found Instant Redemption In The AFCON Final

ST. PAUL, MN - FEBRUARY 02: Christian Pulisic #10 of the United States celebrates after scoring a goal against Honduras in the second half of a World Cup Qualifying game at Allianz Field on February 2, 2022 in St. Paul, Minnesota. The United States defeated Honduras 3-0. (Photo by David Berding/Getty Images)

USMNT Thrives In Torture Chamber Of Its Own Making

Tom Ley

Well That Was Annoying

AFCON Referee Escapes The Shackles Of Time

Don’t Put Commercials In Soccer, You Assholes

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON - MAY 23: George Bello #21 of Atlanta United against Alex Roldan #16 of Seattle Sounders during the first half at Lumen Field on May 23, 2021 in Seattle, Washington. (Photo by Steph Chambers/Getty Images)

What Is This USMNT Guy’s Deal: George Bello

Gioacchini giving an interview after arriving at Montpellier

What Is This USMNT Guy’s Deal:  Nicholas Gioacchini

Clark celebrating a win over Atlanta United

What Is This USMNT Guy’s Deal: Caden Clark

Lisandro Martínez of Argentina competes for the ball with Vinicius Junior of Brazil during a match between Argentina and Brazil as part of FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 Qualifiers at San Juan del Bicentenario Stadium on November 16, 2021 in San Juan, Argentina.

It’s All Coming Together For Vinícius

CINCINNATI, OH - NOVEMBER 12: Tim Weah #20 of the United States controls the ball during the FIFA World Cup 2022 Qualifier match against Mexico at TQL Stadium on November 12, 2021 in Cincinnati, Ohio. (Photo by Kirk Irwin/Getty Images)

Tim Weah Answers All The Right Questions

Portugal's forward Cristiano Ronaldo reacts during the FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 qualification group A football match between Portugal and Serbia, at the Luz stadium in Lisbon, on November 14, 2021.

Fernando Santos Was Never The Right Manager For Portugal

Weston McKennie #8 of the United States is congratulated by Christian Pulisic #10 and Tyler Adams #4 after scoring a goal during the second half of the FIFA World Cup 2022 Qualifier match against Mexico at TQL Stadium on November 12, 2021 in Cincinnati, Ohio. The United States defeated Mexico 2-0.

The USMNT Is Legit As Hell

NASHVILLE, TN - SEPTEMBER 05: Christian Pulisic #10 of United States runs with the ball on net against Canada during the first half of their World Cup qualifying match at Nissan Stadium on September 5, 2021 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Brett Carlsen/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Christian Pulisic

What Is This USMNT Guy’s Deal: Christian Pulisic

COLUMBUS, OHIO - OCTOBER 13: Sergiño Dest #2 of the United States reacts as he is substituted out of the game during the second half of a 2022 World Cup Qualifying match against Costa Rica at Lower.com Field on October 13, 2021 in Columbus, Ohio. (Photo by Emilee Chinn/Getty Images)

What Is This USMNT Guy’s Deal: Sergiño Dest

COLUMBUS, OHIO - OCTOBER 13: The United States celebrate a goal by Sergiño Dest #2 during the first half of a 2022 World Cup Qualifying match against Costa Rica at Lower.com Field on October 13, 2021 in Columbus, Ohio. (Photo by Emilee Chinn/Getty Images)

The USMNT Is Hitting Its Stride

Jonathan Osorio #10 of Canada celebrates a goal by Tajon Buchanan #11 during a 2022 World Cup Qualifying match against Panama at BMO Field on October 13, 2021 in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

Canada Is Rising

US Paul Arriola (C) vies for the ball with by Panama's Eric Davis during their Qatar 2022 FIFA World Cup Concacaf qualifier match at the Rommel Fernandez stadium in Panama City, on October 10, 2021. (Photo by ROGELIO FIGUEROA / AFP) (Photo by ROGELIO FIGUEROA/AFP via Getty Images)

The USMNT Crapped Itself, But It’s Probably Fine

Lionel Messi of Argentina celebrates with teammate Nicolás Gonzalez after scoring the first goal of his team during a match between Argentina and Uruguay as part of South American Qualifiers for Qatar 2022 at Estadio Monumental Antonio Vespucio Liberti on October 10, 2021 in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Argentina Finally Has The Balance It Needs To Be The Best

SANDY, UTAH - JUNE 09: Yunus Musah #18 of the United States in action during a game against Costa Rica at Rio Tinto Stadium on June 09, 2021 in Sandy, Utah. (Photo by Alex Goodlett/Getty Images)

What Is This USMNT Guy’s Deal: Yunus Musah

Busio sips on an espresso after joining Venezia.