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Defector

Ray Ratto

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - MARCH 23: Assistant coach David Quinn of the New York Rangers handles the bench against the Ottawa Senators at Madison Square Garden on March 23, 2026 in New York City. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

A Pox Upon Whoever Spared The Rangers From Nine-Shot Ignominy

Samer Kalaf

Policing

James Dolan Uses Madison Square Garden To Honor New York’s Finest Mobile Gamers

EDMONTON, CANADA - MARCH 21: Connor McDavid #97 of the Edmonton Oilers steps into the penalty box during the second period of the game against the Tampa Bay Lightning at Rogers Place on March 21, 2026, in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. (Photo by Andy Devlin/NHLI via Getty Images)

Doesn’t Anybody Want To Win This Wretched Division?

Lauren Theisen

Goaltender Jake Oettinger (29) of the Dallas Stars saves a shot bu right wing Valeri Nichushkin

The Central Is So Nasty

Barry Petchesky

MILAN, ITALY - FEBRUARY 22: Jack Hughes #86 of Team United States celebrates scoring the game-winning goal in overtime during the Men's Gold Medal match between Canada and the United States on day 16 of the Milano Cortina 2026 Winter Olympic games at Milano Santagiulia Ice Hockey Arena on February 22, 2026 in Milan, Italy. Team United States defeated Team Canada 2-1 in overtime to win the Gold medal. (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

Hockey Boy Wants His Hockey Puck

Auston Matthews of the Toronto Maple Leafs kneels on the ice after being kneed by Radko Gudas of the Anaheim Mighty Ducks on March 12, 2026 in Toronto.

Auston Matthews Is Hurt And The Maple Leafs Are Burnt Toast

BUFFALO, NEW YORK - MARCH 12: Tage Thompson #72 of the Buffalo Sabres follows through on his shot during an NHL game against the Washington Capitals on March 12, 2026 at KeyBank Center in Buffalo, New York. (Photo by Bill Wippert/NHLI via Getty Images)

That Puck Must Have Said Something About Tage Thompson’s Mother

Scott Sabourin of the Tampa Bay Lightning fights Sam Carrick of the Buffalo Sabres on March 8, 2026. The shadows look cool.

The Sabres And Lightning Brawled, Scored, And Cemented A Wild New Rivalry

Nathan MacKinnon #29 of the Colorado Avalanche scores a goal during a shootout after overtime to win the game against the Minnesota Wild

I Have So Many Nice Things To Say About The Avalanche And The Wild

Connor McDavid #97 of the Edmonton Oilers faces off against Sebastian Aho

NHL