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<p>Columnist. Author of many <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Drew-Magary/e/B001JS8R52/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1">fine works of literature</a>, including <em>Point B</em>. Handsomest man in the world.</p>


Drew Magary

NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 3: Out of town tourists check a subway map on April 3, 2023 in New York City. Officials in New York City expect 61 million tourists to visit in 2023, an increase of 9% over 2022 figures of 56.4 million. (Photo by Robert Nickelsberg/Getty Images)

It’s No Sin To Be A Tourist

Golfer Scottie Scheffler, mid-swing, with a Funbag badge at the end of his club.

The Ryder Cup Is The Only Good Form Of Team Golf

TORONTO, CANADA - SEPTEMBER 29: A Toronto Blue Jays fan wears a parrot on his helmet in homage to the home run power of Edwin Encarnacion #10 during MLB game action against the Baltimore Orioles on September 29, 2016 at Rogers Centre in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. (Photo by Tom Szczerbowski/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Edwin Encarnacion

Can I Wear A Batting Helmet Casually Or Will Everyone Think I’m Cuckoo?

Alex Sujong Laughlin

WASHINGTON, DC - April 7: The fossilized 36 million-year-old skeleton of a tree squirrel known as Douglassciurus jeffersoni is on display as part of the "Objects of Wonder" exhibit at the Smithsonian's National Museum of Natural History. Paleontologist Gene Hunt, pictured, said it's one of the most complete prehistoric squirrel skeletons ever discovered. (By John Kelly/The Washington Post)

Where Are All The Squirrel Skeletons?

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<div>Abigail Segel is a contributing writer at Defector. She is also an editor for The IX Soccer and the Equalizer. Her work has been published in the Guardian and the Montreal Gazette.</div>
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Abigail Segel

The Blue Ridge Parkway passes through the Blue Ridge Mountains in North Carolina, USA, circa 1970. (Photo by Archive Photos/Getty Images)

What Are The Best Roads In America?

An open sign in the window of a gift shop is seen in Times Square on August 16, 2020 in New York. Five months after New York City shut down to combat the coronavirus, the tourism industry remains flat. Business leaders and City officials are trying to devise plans to revive the tourism industry that has in years past brought in $45 billion annually and supported 300,000 jobs. (Photo by Bryan R. Smith / AFP) (Photo by BRYAN R. SMITH/AFP via Getty Images)

Police Merch Is Its Own Horrible Little Fiefdom

COMBLOUX, FRANCE - JULY 18: Olivier Le Gac of France and Team Groupama-FDJ sprints during the stage sixteen of the 110th Tour de France 2023 a 22.4km individual climbing time trial stage from Passy to Combloux 974m / #UCIWT / on July 18, 2023 in Combloux, France. (Photo by Tim de Waele/Getty Images)

Could A Normal Person Finish A Tour de France Mountain Stage On An E-Bike?

LIVERMORE, CA - JULY 18: A Safeway customer browses in the fruit and vegetable section at Safeway's new "Lifestyle" store July 18, 2007 in Livermore, California. Safeway unveiled its newest Lifestyle store that features numerous organic and natural foods as well as expanded produce, meat, seafood and floral departments. The store also offers freshly made desserts and baked goods, a coffee roaster, a fresh nut bar and wine section with over 2,000 wines, some of which are stored in a climate controlled wine cellar. (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

Time For War: I’m Ranking Supermarket Chains

For Independence Day, An EXPLOSIVE Question About Doors

BEREA, OH - JULY 28: Microphones of HBO's "Hard Knocks" series hover over the Cleveland Browns offense during a training camp practice on July 28, 2018 at the Cleveland Browns training facility in Berea, Ohio. (Photo by Nick Cammett/Diamond Images/Getty Images)

Let ‘Hard Knocks’ Die Already

<p>Hamilton Nolan is a journalist based in New York City. Subscribe to his work at <a href="https://www.hamiltonnolan.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.hamiltonnolan.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1687350200913000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0naFbUVOe-5ZgtPDtIM3gz">HamiltonNolan.com</a>.</p>


Hamilton Nolan

(EXCLUSIVE, Premium Rates Apply) LOS ANGELES, CA - MARCH 05: **EXCLUSIVE COVERAGE** Actor Gilles Marini attends the FAGE Total Yogurt Bar at The 25th Spirit Awards Official Presenter Lounge held at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on March 5, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Charley Gallay/WireImage)

You Can Probably Eat More Yogurt Than You Think

(MANDATORY CREDIT Ebet Roberts/Getty Images) UNITED STATES - AUGUST 01: LOLAPOLOOZA Photo of Eddie VEDDER and PEARL JAM and Stone GOSSARD, L-R: Stone Gossard and Eddie Vedder performing live onstage (Photo by Ebet Roberts/Redferns)

Who Is Our Least Intelligible Singer?

WUHAN, CHINA - NOVEMBER 23: (CHINA OUT) Zhang Juncai, one of China's tallest men, who measures 2.42 metres in height, walks through the streets on November 23, 2004 in Wuhan, China. Zhang, from Shanxi province, is in Wuhan to seek treatment for his overweight problem. (Photo by China Pix/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Zhang Juncai

The World Still Isn’t Designed With Tall People In Mind

BOSTON, MA - MAY 1: Reggie Miller and Kevin Harland look on during the game between the Philadelphia 76ers and Boston Celtics during Round 2 Game 1 of the 2023 NBA Playoffs on May 1, 2023 at the TD Garden in Boston, Massachusetts. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2023 NBAE (Photo by David Dow/NBAE via Getty Images)

An Extremely Mild And Possibly Temporary Endorsement Of Reggie Miller

SAN FERNANDO, PHILIPPINES - JUNE 18: Customers queue at a McDonald's restaurant during the launch of the BTS Meal on June 18, 2021 in San Fernando, Pampanga province, Philippines. Long queues formed in several McDonald's restaurants in the Philippines as fans of the K-pop group BTS flocked to order the newly launched and wildly popular BTS themed meals. The limited edition celebrity meal "BTS Meal", a collaboration between the fastfood giant and BTS, will be made available in 49 countries. (Photo by Ezra Acayan/Getty Images)

What’s The Least Fulfilling Line To Stand In?

The Case Against The Ironic LOL

QINGDAO, CHINA - AUGUST 14: (CHINA OUT) A woman wearing Facekini enjoys herself at a beach on August 14, 2014 in Qingdao, Shandong Province of China. The mask is used by people for protecting themselves from the sun's rays, jellyfish and algae. (Photo by Visual China Group via Getty Images/Visual China Group via Getty Images)

I Used To Be A Summer Crank

KANSAS CITY, MO - APRIL 28: A Washington Commanders fan during the second day of the NFL Draft on April 28, 2023 at Union Station in Kansas City, MO. (Photo by Scott Winters/Icon Sportswire)

Just Keep The Name Commanders And Be Done With It

MIAMI, FLORIDA - APRIL 08: in their middleweight fight during the UFC 287 event at Kaseya Center on April 8, 2023 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Jeff Bottari/Zuffa LLC)

Who Are The Four Grimmest Men?

This Stupid Oven Is The Juicero Of TV Dinners

Help! My Friend Uses A Separate Loofah Just For His Butthole!


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Israel Daramola

1824: Oxford undergraduates on a latenight drinking escapade. The original caption reads 'Oxford Transports or Albanians doing Penance for Past Offences'. Original Artwork: Drawn and engraved by Robet Cruikshank for 'The English Spy', 1824 (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

What Was The Worst Era To Attend College?

Fans of the Michigan State Spartans write ''state'' on their chests during a game against the Southern California Trojans at the Rose in Pasadena, California. Michigan State won the game 20-17.

Can I Stop Caring About My College Team?

WASHINGTON, DC - MARCH 20: Cherry blossoms near peak bloom around the Tidal Basin on March 20, 2023 in Washington, DC.

A Half-Assed But Useful Guide To Visiting Washington, D.C.

View of young music fans as they look at vinyl LPs in the racks of an unidentified record store, Falls Church, Virginia, October 13, 1977. The teen at fore holds two albums ('New England' and 'Locked In') by British rock group Wishbone Ash. (Photo by Warren K Leffler/US News & World Report Magazine Photograph Collection/PhotoQuest/Getty Images)