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Ray Ratto

SCHAFFHAUSEN, SWITZERLAND - NOVEMBER 11: Signe Bruun of Denmark (C) celebrating her goal with her teammates during the international Women's friendly match between Switzerland and Denmark at Wefox Arena on November 11, 2022 in Schaffhausen, Switzerland.

Soccer

Denmark’s Ready To Make Their Return To The World Cup Count

MILTON KEYNES, ENGLAND - JULY 01: Lucy Bronze of England pointing during the Women's International Friendly match between England and Portugal at Stadium MK on July 01, 2023 in Milton Keynes, England.

England’s Last Step Will Be The Hardest

BALTIMORE, MD - JUNE 23: A detail of the MLB All Star Game patch on a Seattle Mariners jersey during the game between the Seattle Mariners and the Baltimore Orioles at Oriole Park at Camden Yards on Friday, June 23, 2023 in Baltimore, Maryland. (Photo by Rob Tringali/MLB Photos via Getty Images)

It’s Good That Every Team Gets A Guy

FLORHAM PARK, NEW JERSEY - JUNE 9: Quarterback Aaron Rodgers #8 of the New York Jets talks to reporters after the teams OTAs at Atlantic Health Jets Training Center on June 9, 2023 in Florham Park, New Jersey. (Photo by Rich Schultz/Getty Images)

Quasi-Counterpoint: Let The Jets Actively Kill ‘Hard Knocks’

NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE - JUNE 26: Connor McDavid poses with the Ted Lindsay Award, The Art Ross Trophy, Hart Trophy, and Maurice 'Rocket' Richard Trophy at the 2023 NHL Awards at Bridgestone Arena on June 26, 2023 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Brian Babineau/NHLI via Getty Images)

Give Me Weirdo Votes Over Unanimity Every Time

Jordan Lyles Finally Got His Win, Against The Rays Of All Teams

PHOENIX, ARIZONA - OCTOBER 25: Jordan Poole #3 of the Golden State Warriors handles the ball against Chris Paul #3 of the Phoenix Suns during the second half of the NBA game at Footprint Center on October 25, 2022 in Phoenix, Arizona. The Suns defeated the Warriors 134-105. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)

Whatever The Warriors’ Plan, It Doesn’t Involve Jordan Poole

Anaheim, CA - June 20: Shohei Ohtani #17 of the Los Angeles Angels against the Los Angeles Dodgers in the sixth inning of a baseball game at Angel Stadium in Anaheim on Tuesday, June 20, 2023. (Photo by Keith Birmingham/MediaNews Group/Pasadena Star-News via Getty Images)

There Is No Fair Value For Shohei Ohtani

WICKLIFFE, OH - APRIL 13: The Stephen F. Austin Ladyjacks take on the Vanderbilt Commodores during the Division I Women's Bowling Championship held at Rollhouse Wickliffe on April 13, 2019 in Wickliffe, Ohio. (Photo by Jay LaPrete/NCAA Photos via Getty Images)

Bowling

After Affair With Athlete, Assistant Bowling Coach And Husband Of Head Coach Is Now Neither

PHOENIX, ARIZONA - MAY 07: Former NBA athlete Isiah Thomas and Phoenix Suns owner Mat Ishbia attend Game Four of the NBA Western Conference Semifinals at Footprint Center on May 07, 2023 in Phoenix, Arizona. The Suns defeated the Nuggets 129-124. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.

Isiah Thomas Will Always Find A New Situation To Fuck Up

SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA - JUNE 19: Mike Yastrzemski #5 of the San Francisco Giants hits a walk-off three-run home run in the bottom of the tenth inning to defeat the San Diego Padres at Oracle Park on June 19, 2023 in San Francisco, California. (Photo by Lachlan Cunningham/Getty Images)

The Giants Are Bubbling

BOULDER, UNITED STATES - APRIL 22: University of Colorado football head coach Deion Sanders secures his headset under his cowboy hat during the Spring football game as part of Black and Gold Day on April 22, 2023. (Photo by Michael Ciaglo for The Washington Post)

College Football

Vegas Doesn’t Stay Down For Long

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA - APRIL 21: (EDITORS NOTE: This image was shot with a fisheye lens.) A view shows the Las Vegas Strip behind the site that the Oakland Athletics agreed in principle to purchase from Red Rock Resorts Inc. for a potential new ballpark on April 21, 2023 in Las Vegas, Nevada. The A's President Dave Kaval said the deal for the 49-acre plot of land, formerly the home of Wild Wild West Gambling Hall &amp; Hotel, could be used to relocate the Major League Baseball franchise from Oakland to Las Vegas. The team will now work on a public-private partnership to build a USD 1.5 billion, 30,000-to-35,000-seat, partially retractable-roof stadium in time for the 2027 season. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

Las Vegas A’s Begin Relocation Talks

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA - JUNE 13: Sergei Bobrovsky #72 of the Florida Panthers sits in the crease after Mark Stone #61 of the Vegas Golden Knights scored an empty-net hat trick goal against the Florida Panthers during the third period in Game Five of the 2023 NHL Stanley Cup Final at T-Mobile Arena on June 13, 2023 in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Just Pull The Goalie Earlier Next Time

APR 28 1968; READY FOR ROCKET-TICKET CAMPAIGN; Jack Grunwald, right, will serve as general chairman of the Denver Rockets' season-ticket drive that will be launched with an organizational dinner meeting for 60 area businessmen Monday evening at the Denver Athletic Club. Grunwald headed last year's drive that set an ABA high of nearly 700 season tickets. Mapping plans are, from left. Rockets owner J. W. Ringsby, cochairmen Max Moore and Frank Byrne.; (Photo By The Denver Post via Getty Images)

It’s An Upset That The Nuggets Exist

OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA - JUNE 12: Jonah Bride #26, Seth Brown #15, Jace Peterson #6, Esteury Ruiz #1 and Ramon Laureano #22 of the Oakland Athletics celebrate after a 4-3 win against the Tampa Bay Rays at RingCentral Coliseum on June 12, 2023 in Oakland, California. (Photo by Lachlan Cunningham/Getty Images)

Tonight’s A’s Game Will Be A Party Or A Wake

REGINA, SK - SEPTEMBER 16: An Edmonton Elks helmet on the bench before the game between the Edmonton Elks and Saskatchewan Roughriders at Mosaic Stadium on September 16, 2022 in Regina, Canada. (Photo by Brent Just/Getty Images)

Someone’s Gotta Be The Worst Team In Edmonton

CHICAGO, IL - JUNE 11: Miami Marlins third baseman Jean Segura (9) jumps in the air after hitting a home run in the ninth inning during a Major League Baseball game between the Miami Marlins and the Chicago White Sox on June 11, 2023 at Guaranteed Rate Field in Chicago, IL. (Photo by Melissa Tamez/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

The Marlins Can Be A Bigger Fish In A Big Pond

Miami's Duncan Robinson argues with referee Eric Davis during Game 1 of the NBA Finals

The Heat Have Bigger Problems Than The Refs

THE WOODLANDS, TEXAS - APRIL 30: A general view of a golf ball on the green of the first hole during the final round of the Insperity Invitational at The Woodlands Golf Club on April 30, 2023 in The Woodlands, Texas.

Golf

I Demand These Two Awful, Heroic Golfers Be Given A Hefty NIL Deal

OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA - MAY 29: Fans sit behind signs referencing plans for the Oakland Athletics to move to Las Vegas during a game against the Atlanta Braves at RingCentral Coliseum on May 29, 2023 in Oakland, California.

Oakland A’s: Thousands Of Fans Across The Country Will Flock To Las Vegas To Watch Us Play Awful Baseball

SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA - APRIL 30: Stephen Curry #30 of the Golden State Warriors hugs general manager Bob Myers after the Warriors defeated the Kings 120-100 in game seven of the Western Conference First Round Playoffs at Golden 1 Center on April 30, 2023 in Sacramento, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

The Warriors Are In Flux

Luton Town players celebrating with Tom Lockyer shirt after winning the game during the Sky Bet Championship Play-Off Final between Coventry City and Luton Town at Wembley Stadium, London on Saturday 27th May 2023. (Photo by Ivan Yordanov/MI News/NurPhoto via Getty Images)

Luton Town Is Back From The Brink

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - JANUARY 31: Tom Brady attends the Los Angeles Premiere of Paramount Pictures’ “80 For Brady” presented by Smirnoff ICE at the Regency Village Theatre on January 31, 2023 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Phillip Faraone/Getty Images for Paramount Pictures)

You Won’t Be Rid Of Tom Brady That Easily

MIAMI, FL - MAY 27: Derrick White #9 of the Boston Celtics shoots the game winner during Game Six of the Eastern Conference Finals against the Miami Heat on May 27, 2023 at the Kaseya Center in Miami, Florida. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this Photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2023 NBAE (Photo by Jesse D. Garrabrant/NBAE via Getty Images)