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Ray Ratto

SAINT PAUL, MN - FEBRUARY 19: Joel Eriksson Ek #14 celebrates his goal with his teammates Kirill Kaprizov #97 and Matt Boldy #12 of the Minnesota Wild against the Vancouver Canucks during the game at the Xcel Energy Center on February 19, 2024 in Saint Paul, Minnesota. (Photo by Bruce Kluckhohn/NHLI via Getty Images)

Goalies Were Optional In Minnesota

Anthony Rendon walks away from the plate with a faraway, faintly sad look on his face after striking out against Cleveland in a game in May of 2023.

Anthony Rendon Is Already Feeling Pretty Angels

GREEN BAY, WI - JULY 24: Green Bay Packers shareholders fill Lambeau Field for the Green Bay Packers Shareholders meeting on July 24, 2019 at Lambeau Field, in Green Bay, WI. (Photo by Larry Radloff/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

Dadfector

God Help Me, My Son’s Marrying A Packers Shareholder

OAKLAND, CA - JULY 19: Owner John Fisher of the Oakland Athletics stands in the stands during the game against the Houston Astros at the Oakland Coliseum on July 19, 2016 in Oakland, California. The Athletics defeated the Astros 4-3. (Photo by Michael Zagaris/Oakland Athletics/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** John Fisher

Look Who’s Come Crawling Back To Oakland

Morgan Rielly cross-checks Ridly Greig after an empty-net slap shot.

Ridly Greig’s Empty-Net Clapper Has Turned Into A Provincial Scandal

LOS ANGELES, CA - FEBRUARY 10: Ausar Thompson #9 of the Detroit Pistons looks on during the game on February 10, 2024 at Crypto.Com Arena in Los Angeles, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this Photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2024 NBAE (Photo by Tyler Ross/NBAE via Getty Images)

Don’t Look Now, But The Pistons Have Competition In The Crapper

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA - FEBRUARY 11: Head coach Kyle Shanahan of the San Francisco 49ers looks on during the fourth quarter during Super Bowl LVIII at Allegiant Stadium on February 11, 2024 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)

Kyle Shanahan Has A Reputation

Harrison Butker #7 of the Kansas City Chiefs kicks a field goal late in the fourth quarter to tie the game against the San Francisco 49ers during Super Bowl LVIII at Allegiant Stadium on February 11, 2024 in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Harrison Butker Is The Guy You Want In The Margins

HENDERSON, NEVADA - FEBRUARY 08: Brock Purdy #13 of the San Francisco 49ers speaks to media during San Francisco 49ers media availability ahead of Super Bowl LVIII at Hilton Lake Las Vegas Resort and Spa on February 08, 2024 in Henderson, Nevada. (Photo by Chris Unger/Getty Images)

What Can You Say About Brock Purdy?

TORONTO, ONTARIO - FEBRUARY 02: Howler the Coyote of the Arizona Coyotes interacts with fans at the Mascot Skills Event at the 2024 Hyundai NHL All-Star Fan Fair at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre on February 02, 2024 in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. (Photo by Carlos Osorio/NHLI via Getty Images)

Does Anyone In Arizona Want The Coyotes?

Las Vegas Mayor Carolyn Goodman, seen doing a kind of triumphant here-I-am gesture at the opening of The Sphere in September of 2023.

Las Vegas Mayor To John Fisher: Maybe Try Staying In Oakland

Colorado Rockies relief pitcher Brent Suter high fives fans as he walks around the field with players to end their season at Coors Field on October 1, 2023 in Denver, Colorado.

It’s Time To Fixate On How Your Favorite Baseball Team Will Disappoint You

No One Can Fire A Coach Like The NHL

ATLANTA, GEORGIA - DECEMBER 12: Roger Goodell speaks onstage during the 2023 HOPE Global Forum at Hyatt Regency Atlanta on December 12, 2023 in Atlanta, Georgia. (Photo by Derek White/Getty Images)

Roger Goodell Is Tired Of Those Inconvenient Questions

PARIS, FRANCE - JANUARY 11: NBA commissioner Adam Silver speaks during a press conference ahead of the Paris Game 2024 match between Brooklyn Nets and Cleveland Cavaliers at Accor Arena in Paris, France on January 11, 2024. (Photo by Mustafa Yalcin/Anadolu via Getty Images)

Some People Just Can’t Stand To See A Load Managed

An exterior view shows signage for Super Bowl LVIII at Allegiant Stadium on January 30, 2024 in Las Vegas, Nevada. The game will be played on February 11, 2024, between the Kansas City Chiefs and the San Francisco 49ers.

Super Bowl Day 3: Too Stupid, Too Early

WINNIPEG, CANADA - JANUARY 11: MacKenzie Entwistle #58 and Lukas Reichel #27 of the Chicago Blackhawks get set at the bench prior to puck drop against the Winnipeg Jets at the Canada Life Centre on January 11, 2024 in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. (Photo by Jonathan Kozub/NHLI via Getty Images)

The Blackhawks Are Plumbing The Depths

SANTA CLARA, CA - JANUARY 28: Detroit Lions head coach Dan Campbell walks off the field against the San Francisco 49ers during the first half of the NFC Championship football game at Levi's Stadium on January 28, 2024 in Santa Clara, California. (Photo by Cooper Neill/Getty Images)

Dan Gambled

Deon Bush #26 of the Kansas City Chiefs celebrates with teammates after an interception against the Baltimore Ravens during the fourth quarter in the AFC Championship Game .

Kansas City’s Defense Did The Real Work

Joel Embiid with 70 paper; Luka Doncic with 73 paper

The NBA’s Tribute To Minimalist Art

Adrian Beltre jokes around during batting practice prior to the SiriusXM All-Star Futures Game at T-Mobile Park on Saturday, July 8, 2023 in Seattle, Washington.

Unanimity Is The Wrong Benchmark For Hall-Of-Fame Angst

PALO ALTO, CALIFORNIA - JANUARY 21: Head coach Tara VanDerveer of the Stanford Cardinal celebrates with her player Cameron Brink #22 after Stanford defeated the Oregon State Beavers 65-56 at Stanford Maples Pavilion on January 21, 2024 in Palo Alto, California. Tara VanDerveer recorded her 1,203 NCAA career victory passing Mike Krzyzewski with 1,202 NCAA career wins. (Photo by Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images)

Women's Basketball

Tara VanDerveer Will Never Know A Hot Seat

ORCHARD PARK, NEW YORK - JANUARY 21: 1 #87 of the Kansas City Chiefs celebrates after scoring a 22 yard touchdown against the Buffalo Bills during the second quarter in the AFC Divisional Playoff game at Highmark Stadium on January 21, 2024 in Orchard Park, New York. (Photo by Al Bello/Getty Images)

The Chiefs Are The NFL’s Traveling Circus

October 16, 1972 Sports Illustrated cover and signed limited edition Wilt Chamberlain sports porcelain figurine on display during the press preview at Sotheby's Auction House on August 01, 2023 in Los Angeles, California.

Journalismism

Here It Is: One More Obit For Sports Illustrated

Mike McCarthy of the Dallas Cowboys looks on from the field prior to an NFL wild-card playoff football game against the Green Bay Packers at AT&amp;T Stadium on January 14, 2024 in Arlington, Texas.