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Chris Thompson
Staff Writer
Connect
chris.thompson@defector.com
@MadBastardsAll
Science
If Scientists Are To Use Tokamak Rockets To Send Man To Mars, They Must Agree To Use My Face As The Launch Pad
123
Comments
Chris Thompson
March 8, 2021
Interviews
An Epidemiologist Explains The Challenges Of Vaccinating A Neurotic Nation
153
Comments
Chris Thompson
February 9, 2021
New Defector Merch For Your Baby
Finally, Defector merch for the baby who loves food. Designed by illustrator extraordinaire Hawk Krall, our new Chefector baby onesie is the perfect outfit for those little fans of various mush. And for the food-motivated adult, it's available on a regular T-shirt, too.
Year In Review
What Our Family Members Thought Of Defector In 2020
263
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 31, 2020
NFL
There Is No Quarterback Too Obscure To Replace Dwayne Haskins
111
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 28, 2020
NBA
Things Are Going Extremely Normally For The Clippers
55
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 28, 2020
NFL
To The Screeching Horror Of Jets And Browns Fans, Jets Beat Browns
132
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 27, 2020
NBA
NBA Big Men Are Not Yet Dunking With Mid-Season Form
31
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 27, 2020
Science
Mankind One Step Closer To Dominion Over Star Juice
108
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 27, 2020
This Is So Stupid
The Detroit Lions Must Hire Us To Coach Them In Battle Against The Buccaneers This Saturday
93
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 23, 2020
NFL
Washington’s Quarterback Situation Keeps Getting Dumber
122
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 22, 2020
NFL
Lions Special-Teams Coach Approaches Maximum Subterfuge, Is Fired
96
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 21, 2020
NFL
Alex Smith Will Not Suffer A Football-Related Injury To Either Of His Legs For At Least One Week
47
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 18, 2020
Life Lessons
Hibernating For One Year Has Turned Me Into A Toxic Blob
356
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 17, 2020
The Great Outdoors
Trash Animals Send Delegates To Landmark Council Of Garbage Feasters
109
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 15, 2020
MLB
The Cleveland Baseball Team Is Already Making A Big Mess Of Their Own Name Change
147
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 14, 2020
NBA
This Is Getting Awkward For The Rockets
81
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 14, 2020
NFL
The Chargers Have Once Again Been Owned By Time Itself
77
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 13, 2020
NFL
Dan Bailey Probably Kicked His Job Into The Toilet
82
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 13, 2020
NFL
Kicking The Ball Out Of Your Opponent’s Hand Is In Fact A Very Cool Thing To Do On A Football Field
35
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 13, 2020
Science
Teeth Are Horrifying
114
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 13, 2020
Death To The NCAA
Dan Mullen Was Embittered, And That Is Good Enough For Me
79
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 13, 2020
Media Meltdowns
Notorious Jets Beat Reporter Manish Mehta Fired At Long Last
94
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 10, 2020
Interviews
A Student-Debt Researcher Fucks Me Up With America’s Broken Promises
336
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 8, 2020
NFL
Solid Marital Fundamentals Will Lift The Eagles Out Of The Shitter
105
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 4, 2020
NFL
When The Football Is Meaningless, What’s Left?
132
Comments
Chris Thompson
December 3, 2020
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