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Chris Thompson

Staff Writer

Find me on Signal @DefectorChris.19

NFL

Alex Smith Will Not Suffer A Football-Related Injury To Either Of His Legs For At Least One Week

December 18, 2020
Life Lessons

Hibernating For One Year Has Turned Me Into A Toxic Blob

December 17, 2020
The Great Outdoors

Trash Animals Send Delegates To Landmark Council Of Garbage Feasters

December 15, 2020
MLB

The Cleveland Baseball Team Is Already Making A Big Mess Of Their Own Name Change

December 14, 2020
NBA

This Is Getting Awkward For The Rockets

December 14, 2020
NFL

The Chargers Have Once Again Been Owned By Time Itself

December 13, 2020
NFL

Dan Bailey Probably Kicked His Job Into The Toilet

December 13, 2020
NFL

Kicking The Ball Out Of Your Opponent’s Hand Is In Fact A Very Cool Thing To Do On A Football Field

December 13, 2020
Science

Teeth Are Horrifying

December 13, 2020
Death To The NCAA

Dan Mullen Was Embittered, And That Is Good Enough For Me

December 13, 2020
Media Meltdowns

Notorious Jets Beat Reporter Manish Mehta Fired At Long Last

December 10, 2020
Interviews

A Student-Debt Researcher Fucks Me Up With America’s Broken Promises

December 8, 2020
NFL

Solid Marital Fundamentals Will Lift The Eagles Out Of The Shitter

December 4, 2020
NFL

When The Football Is Meaningless, What’s Left?

December 3, 2020
NFL

We Have Reached The Absurdist Stage Of The NFL’s Pandemic Failure

December 1, 2020
NFL

The Chargers May Not Totally Grasp The Concept Of Time

November 30, 2020
Science

President-Elect Joe Biden Must Direct The National Ignition Facility To Fire 192 Lasers At My Solar Plexus

November 24, 2020
NFL

Was Tom Brady Crud Tonight?

November 23, 2020
Death To The NCAA

Dabo Swinney Is The Perfect Shitbrained Coach For These Shitbrained Times

November 23, 2020
NFL

Dear God, Will Someone Please Fire Matt Patricia

November 22, 2020
NFL

Taysom Hill Goes Deep And Checks Down On The Same Throw

November 22, 2020
NFL

The Hoarse, Mucousy, Ashen-Faced Texans Do Not Have COVID-19

November 22, 2020
NBA

John Wall Wants The Wizards To Trade Him, Just As I Want The ESO’s Gigantic Quad-Laser To Vaporize My Corporeal Self

November 22, 2020
Staff Chat

Join Us For A Friday Staff Chat

November 20, 2020
NBA

The Knicks Did Something Cool That Probably Will Not Ever Matter, But Still

November 19, 2020
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