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Billy Haisley

Gabriel Jesus of Arsenal nearly scores during the Premier League match between Arsenal FC and Leicester City at Emirates Stadium on August 13, 2022 in London, England.

Soccer

Hallelujah, Gabriel Jesus Has Returned!

Manchester United mascot Fred the Red during the Premier League match between Manchester United and Brighton &amp; Hove Albion at Old Trafford on August 07, 2022 in Manchester, England.

Manchester United Is So Pitiful That I Almost Feel Bad

Paris Saint-Germain's Brazilian forward Neymar (R) celebrates with Paris Saint-Germain's Moroccan defender Achraf Hakimi after scoring a goal during the French L1 football match between Clermont Foot 63 and Paris Saint-Germain at Stade Gabriel Montpied in Clermont-Ferrand, central France on August 6, 2022.

If An Overhead Kick Is Scored In Paris, Does It Make A Sound?

England players celebrate with fans during the England women's team celebration at Trafalgar Square on August 01, 2022 in London, England. The England Women's football team beat Germany 2-1 in the final of the UEFA European Women's Championship last night at Wembley Stadium.

Is Women’s Soccer Leaving Home?

Frenkie de Jong of Netherlands stands for the national anthem prior to the UEFA Nations League League A Group 4 match between Netherlands and Poland at Stadium Feijenoord on June 11, 2022 in Rotterdam, Netherlands.

He Doesn’t Want To Come To Your Sorry-Ass Club, Gary

Alessia Russo of England scores her teams third goal during the UEFA Women's Euro 2022 Semi Final match between England and Sweden at Bramall Lane on July 26, 2022 in Sheffield, England.

This Is England?

FC Barcelona's French forward Ousmane Dembele and FC Barcelona's President Joan Laporta pose during Ousmane Dembele's ceremony at the Joan Gamper training ground in Sant Joan Despi, near Barcelona on July 14, 2022. - French international winger Ousmane Dembele, whose contract with Barcelona expired last month, ended six months of speculation about his future by agreeing to 'rejoin' the Catalan side until 2024, the club announced on July 14, 2022.

Barcelona Is Back, For Better And For Worse

Rey Manaj of Spezia Calcio celebrates after scoring the 1-1 goal during the Serie A match between US Salernitana and Spezia Calcio at Stadio Arechi on February 07, 2022 in Salerno, Italy.

Rays Week

Relegated Watford Pretends That Everybody Loves Rey Manaj

Spain's defender Maria Leon clears the ball during the UEFA Women's Euro 2022 Group B football match between Spain and Finland at Stadium MK in Milton Keynes, north of London on July 8, 2022.

Mapi León Is One Of A Kind

Romelu Lukaku of Belgium celebrates after scoring their side's third goal during the UEFA Euro 2020 Championship Group B match between Belgium and Russia on June 12, 2021 in Saint Petersburg, Russia.

Inter Is Giving Us Our Romelu Lukaku Back

Everton's fans invade the football pitch to celebrate at the end of the English Premier League football match between Everton and Crystal Palace at Goodison Park in Liverpool, north west England on May 19, 2022. - Everton staged a dramatic fightback from two goals down to preserve their Premier League status with a 3-2 win against Crystal Palace.

It Doesn’t Get Better Than That

The United States celebrate a goal by Trinity Rodman during the second half against Uzbekistan at Subaru Park on April 12, 2022 in Chester, Pennsylvania.

To Get True Equal Pay, The USWNT And USMNT Had To Break The Mold

Arsenal goalkeeper Aaron Ramsdale reacts after the Premier League match between Newcastle United and Arsenal at St. James Park on May 16, 2022 in Newcastle upon Tyne, England.

It’s Still A Little Too Early For Arsenal

Mason Holgate celebrates with Richarlison of Everton after scoring their team's second goal during the Premier League match between Leicester City and Everton at The King Power Stadium on May 08, 2022 in Leicester, England.

The Premier League Relegation War Is The Best Show In Town

Real Madrid players celebrate wining the UEFA Champions League semi-final second leg football match between Real Madrid CF and Manchester City at the Santiago Bernabeu stadium in Madrid on May 4, 2022.

The Champions League Is For Mentality Monsters

Real Betis' Spanish midfielder Joaquin raises the winner's trophy as he celebrates with teammates their victory after winning the Spanish Copa del Rey (King's Cup) final football match between Real Betis and Valencia CF at La Cartuja Stadium in Seville, on April 23, 2022.

Long Live Real Betis, Kings Of The Cup

Karim Benzema of Real Madrid celebrates after scoring their team's second goal during the UEFA Champions League Quarter Final Leg Two match between Real Madrid and Chelsea FC at Estadio Santiago Bernabeu on April 12, 2022 in Madrid, Spain.

Real Madrid Will Not Go Gently Into That Good Night

Paris Saint-Germain's Brazilian forward Neymar (L) celebrates with Paris Saint-Germain's French forward Kylian Mbappe after scoring three goals during the French L1 football match between Clermont Foot 63 and Paris Saint-Germain (PSG) at the Gabriel-Montpied stadium in Clermont-Ferrand, central France, on April 9, 2022.

PSG Is Such A Waste

Gabriel Jesus, Phil Foden and Jack Grealish of Manchester City prepare to come on during the UEFA Champions League Quarter Final Leg One match between Manchester City and Atletico Madrid at City of Manchester Stadium on April 05, 2022 in Manchester, England.

The Players Make The Game

USA's Christian Pulisic celebrates after scoring a goal during US Mens National Teams 2022 FIFA World Cup Qualifier vs. Panama at Exploria Stadium in Orlando, Florida on March 27, 2022.

The USMNT Is Going To The World Cup

Giovanni Reyna of United States fights for the ball with Johan Vásquez of Mexico during a match between Mexico and United States as part of Concacaf 2022 FIFA World Cup Qualifiers at Azteca Stadium on March 24, 2022 in Mexico City, Mexico.

Gio Reyna Is Taking Us Where We Need To Go

Manchester City's English midfielder Phil Foden (L) celebrates with teammates after scoring his team third goal during the English FA cup quarter-final football match between Southampton and Manchester City at St Mary's Stadium in Southampton, Southern England on March 20, 2022.

Manchester City’s Lack Is Our Gain

Football players, Portugal's Cristiano Ronaldo, Brazil's Kaka and Argentina's Lionel Messi pose during a press conference prior to the FIFA World Player Gala 2007 award ceremony 17 December 2007 in Zurich.

The World No Longer Belongs To Ronaldo And Messi

Leeds United player Raphinha celebrates his goal during the Premier League match between Leeds United and West Ham United at Elland Road on September 25, 2021 in Leeds, England.

Raphinha Showeth And Raphinha Taketh Away

Bukayo Saka of Arsenal celebrates with (out of frame) Gabriel Martinelli of Arsenal after he scored during the Premier League match between Watford and Arsenal at Vicarage Road on March 06, 2022 in Watford, England.