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Defector

Billy Haisley

Juventus' Serbian forward Dusan Vlahovic (C) shoots and scores his team's first goal during the UEFA Champions League football match between Villarreal and Juventus at La Ceramica stadium in Vila-real on February 22, 2022.

Soccer

This Is What Juventus Paid All That Money For

Meikayla Moore of New Zealand hunches over after scoring her third own goal of the game against the USWNT.

Poor New Zealand Defender Scores A Devil’s Hat-Trick For The USWNT

Harry Kane of Tottenham Hotspur celebrates after scoring their side's third goal during the Premier League match between Manchester City and Tottenham Hotspur at Etihad Stadium on February 19, 2022 in Manchester, England.

Harry Fucking Kane

Paris Saint-Germain's French forward Kylian Mbappe celebrates after scoring a goal during the UEFA Champions League round of 16 first leg football match between Paris Saint-Germain (PSG) and Real Madrid at the Parc des Princes stadium in Paris on February 15, 2022.

Paris Belongs To Kylian Mbappé

Newcastle United's French midfielder Allan Saint-Maximin (2nd L) vies with Everton's English midfielder Dele Alli (2nd R) during the English Premier League football match between Newcastle United and Everton at St James' Park in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, north east England on February 8, 2022.

Newcastle Is Not Worthy Of Allan Saint-Maximin, But It’s Getting There

Barcelona's players celebrate their victory at the end of the Spanish league football match between FC Barcelona and Club Atletico de Madrid at the Camp Nou stadium in Barcelona on February 6, 2022.

Who Can Fix Atlético Madrid?

Julian Alvarez of Argentina plays the ball during a training session on January 31, 2022 in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Please, Manchester City, Do Not Ruin Julián Álvarez

Manchester City's Belgian midfielder Kevin De Bruyne is tackled by Southampton's Ghanaian defender Mohammed Salisu during the English Premier League football match between Southampton and Manchester City at St Mary's Stadium in Southampton, southern England on January 22, 2022.

Mohammed Salisu Wrecked Manchester City’s Shit

Barcelona's French forward Ousmane Dembele controls the ball during the Spanish league football match between FC Barcelona and Elche CF at the Camp Nou stadium in Barcelona on December 18, 2021.

Wow Would You Look At That, Barcelona Is Still Miserable

Kicker Evan McPherson #2 of the Cincinnati Bengals follows his game winning kick giving the Bengals a 19-16 win over the Tennessee Titans in the AFC Divisional Playoff game at Nissan Stadium on January 22, 2022 in Nashville, Tennessee.

Defector Up All Night

Your Better-Late-Than-Never Weekend Open Thread Is Here

Liverpool's Brazilian midfielder Philippe Coutinho (C) shoots to score the opening goal of the English Premier League football match between Liverpool and Swansea City at Anfield in Liverpool, north west England on December 26, 2017.

Coutinho Has Another Chance To Be Coutinho Again

Marc Andre ter Stegen, keeper of FC Barcelona reacts as Leroy Sané of Muenchen scores the second goal during the UEFA Champions League group E match between FC Bayern München and FC Barcelona at Football Arena Munich on December 08, 2021 in Munich, Germany.

Barcelona Takes Another Big Step Back

Real Madrid's Brazilian forward Vinicius Junior celebrates after scoring his team's first goal during the Spanish League football match between Real Sociedad and Real Madrid CF at the Anoeta stadium in San Sebastian on December 4, 2021.

Vinícius Go Boom

Jordan Pickford of Everton fails to save the Liverpool second goal scored by Mohamed Salah during the Premier League match between Everton and Liverpool at Goodison Park on December 01, 2021 in Liverpool, England.

The Big Three Rule The Premier League With An Iron Fist

Liverpool's Spanish midfielder Thiago Alcantara shoots to score their third goal during the English Premier League football match between Liverpool and Southampton at Anfield in Liverpool, north west England on November 27, 2021.

Everything Thiago Does Is Perfect

Bayern Munich's players celebrate their second goal during the UEFA Champions League football match between Dynamo Kiev and Bayern Munich at the Olympic Stadium in Kiev on November 23, 2021.

Resistance Is Futile Against Bayern Munich

Joao Cancelo of Manchester City is challenged by Trent Alexander-Arnold of Liverpool during the Premier League match between Manchester City and Liverpool at Etihad Stadium on November 08, 2020 in Manchester, England.

The Premier League’s Two Best Full Backs Are On A Whole Nother Level

Lisandro Martínez of Argentina competes for the ball with Vinicius Junior of Brazil during a match between Argentina and Brazil as part of FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 Qualifiers at San Juan del Bicentenario Stadium on November 16, 2021 in San Juan, Argentina.

It’s All Coming Together For Vinícius

Kheira Hamraoui #14 of Paris Saint-Germain takes the field before playing against Chicago Red Stars during The Women's Cup Third Place match at Lynn Family Stadium on August 21, 2021 in Louisville, Kentucky.

The Totally Insane Story About The Attacked PSG Player Has Only Gotten More Insane

Weston McKennie #8 of the United States is congratulated by Christian Pulisic #10 and Tyler Adams #4 after scoring a goal during the second half of the FIFA World Cup 2022 Qualifier match against Mexico at TQL Stadium on November 12, 2021 in Cincinnati, Ohio. The United States defeated Mexico 2-0.

The USMNT Is Legit As Hell

Alexia Putellas of FC Barcelona scores his side's 3rd goal during the UEFA Women's Champions League group C match between FC Barcelona and 1899 Hoffenheim at Estadi Johan Cruyff on November 10, 2021 in Barcelona, Spain.

Alexia Putellas Is As Good As It Gets

Atletico Madrid's French forward Antoine Griezmann celebrates after scoring his team's second goal during the Spanish league football match between Valencia CF and Club Atletico de Madrid at the Mestalla stadium in Valencia on November 7, 2021.

Antoine Griezmann Is Really Fucking Good Again, Even If Atlético Madrid Isn’t

Joao Cancelo of Manchester City crosses the ball whilst under pressure from Aaron Wan-Bissaka of Manchester United during the Premier League match between Manchester United and Manchester City at Old Trafford on November 06, 2021 in Manchester, England.

No One Can Do It Like João Cancelo

Barcelona's Dutch coach Ronald Koeman stands on the pitch before the start of the Spanish League football match between Rayo Vallecano de Madrid and FC Barcelona at the Vallecas stadium in Madrid on October 27, 2021.

Barcelona Has Hit The Reset Button

Real Madrid's Austrian defender David Alaba celebrates scoring the opening goal during the Spanish League football match between FC Barcelona and Real Madrid CF at the Camp Nou stadium in Barcelona on October 24, 2021.