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Billy Haisley

Manchester United's English striker Marcus Rashford (L) scores his team's second goal past RB Leipzig's Hungarian goalkeeper Peter Gulacsi during the UEFA Champions league group H football match between Manchester United and RB Leipzig at Old Trafford stadium in Manchester, north west England, on October 28, 2020.

Soccer

Marcus Rashford’s Hat Trick Was A Ball-Striking Fetishist’s Wet Dream

Southampton's English striker Danny Ings celebrates his team's second goal during the English Premier League football match between Southampton and Everton at St Mary's Stadium in Southampton, southern England, on October 25, 2020.

All These Good-Ass Strikers Have Turned The Premier League Upside Down

Ajax' Dutch forward Klaas Jan Huntelaar (C) scores the 0-10 goal during the Dutch Eredivisie football match between VVV Venlo and Ajax Amsterdam at De Koel stadium in Venlo, south-eastern Netherlands, on October 24, 2020. - Ajax won 13-0 against VVV Venlo, the biggest victory in the history of the Dutch championship.

Watch Ajax Hogtie VVV-Venlo, Strap Them To A Rocket Ship, Launch The Ship Into Outer Space, Load Up Another Rocket With Nukes, And Fly The Second Rocket Into The First, Causing An Explosion Of Gory Radiance The Likes Of Which The Eredivisie Has Never Before Seen

Raphael Varane and Carlos Casimiro of Real Madrid look dejected after conceding a third goal during the UEFA Champions League Group B stage match between Real Madrid and Shakhtar Donetsk at Estadio Alfredo Di Stefano on October 21, 2020 in Madrid, Spain.

Real Madrid, Once The King Of Europe, Is Now Pure Ass

Harry Kane of Tottenham Hotspur celebrates with teammates after scoring his team's second goal during the Premier League match between Tottenham Hotspur and West Ham United at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium on October 18, 2020 in London, England. Sporting stadiums around the UK remain under strict restrictions due to the Coronavirus Pandemic as Government social distancing laws prohibit fans inside venues resulting in games being played behind closed doors.

Harry Kane Is Back On His Bullshit

Portuguese fans wearing masks await the kick off during the international friendly match between Portugal and Spain at Estadio Jose Alvalade on October 07, 2020 in Lisbon, Portugal.

Coronavirus Is Once Again Coming For European Soccer

Defector At The Movies

‘Hollywood Shuffle’ Brought An Independent Spirit To Black Cinema That’s Become All Too Rare

Sergino Dest #18 of the United States drives against Jonathan Osorio #21 of Canada during the CONCACAF Nations League match at Exploria Stadium on November 15, 2019 in Orlando, Florida.

Barcelona Just Signed Sergiño Dest (He’s American! Seriously! An American! On Barcelona!), And I’m Losing My Mind

Ansu Fati of FC Barcelona smiles during the La Liga Santander match between FC Barcelona and Villarreal CF at Camp Nou on September 27, 2020 in Barcelona, Spain. Football Stadiums around Europe remain empty due to the Coronavirus Pandemic as Government social distancing laws prohibit fans inside venues resulting in fixtures being played behind closed doors.

Ansu Fati Has Barcelona Looking Back To The Future

Barcelona's Uruguayan forward Luis Suarez (L) celebrates after scoring the 1-2 during the UEFA Champions League Final football match between Juventus and FC Barcelona at the Olympic Stadium in Berlin on June 6, 2015.

Luis Suárez Gave Barcelona Just As Much As It Gave Him

Manchester City's English midfielder Phil Foden (C back) shoots to score his team's second goal during the English Premier League football match between Wolverhampton Wanderers and Manchester City at the Molineux stadium in Wolverhampton, central England on September 21, 2020. (Photo by Stu FORSTER / POOL / AFP) / RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE. No use with unauthorized audio, video, data, fixture lists, club/league logos or 'live' services. Online in-match use limited to 120 images. An additional 40 images may be used in extra time. No video emulation. Social media in-match use limited to 120 images. An additional 40 images may be used in extra time. No use in betting publications, games or single club/league/player publications. / (Photo by STU FORSTER/POOL/AFP via Getty Images)

Phil Foden Has A Chance To Give Manchester City The One Thing Money Can’t Buy

Lionel Messi dribbles the ball between several defenders.

La Liga

Watch Barcelona’s Lionel Messi Score A Rare Yet Familiar Right-Footed Golazo, For Maybe The Last Time

Paris Saint-Germain's German coach Thomas Tuchel reacts during the French L1 football match between Racing Club de Lens (RCS) and Paris-Saint-Germain (PSG).