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Albert Burneko
Assignment Editor
Connect
albert.burneko@defector.com
@albertburneko
NFL
Mark Davis’s House Is The World Capital Of Sadness
437
Comments
Albert Burneko
September 1, 2021
NBA
Ben Simmons, To Team Trying To Trade Him: Trade Me
139
Comments
Albert Burneko
August 31, 2021
The Defector Crewneck Sweatshirt Is Back In Stock
Bad news: It's getting colder. Good news: The best way to cover your forearms has returned. The critically acclaimed Defector crewneck sweatshirt has been restocked in all sizes. Now's the time to get one of our most popular items, printed with union labor in the USA.
Soccer
Personally I Feel This Jack Wilshere Interview Summary Could Be Even More Brutal
186
Comments
Albert Burneko
August 26, 2021
This Is So Stupid
There Should Be A Game Show Where People Compete To Be A Game Show Host
104
Comments
Albert Burneko
August 23, 2021
Media Meltdowns
Someone, Please, Explain To Me What This Sentence Is Trying To Say
218
Comments
Albert Burneko
August 23, 2021
Chefector
Let’s Cook Up A Nice Big Bowl Of Summer
84
Comments
Albert Burneko
August 21, 2021
This Is So Stupid
Only I Know Why Chris Palmer Thought It A Good Idea To Tweet That Vanessa Bryant Doesn’t Know This Stupid Factoid About Her Dead Husband, And I’ll Never Tell
124
Comments
Albert Burneko
August 13, 2021
Media Meltdowns
Either Wirecutter Or I Are Doing Toilet Brush Ownership EXTREMELY Wrong
259
Comments
Albert Burneko
August 12, 2021
Chefector
A Big Pile Of Tomatoes Is A Salad If You Say It Is
113
Comments
Albert Burneko
August 7, 2021
NBA
A Complete List Of Players Who, Unlike Ben Simmons, Would Not Be Willing To Join The Golden State Warriors
97
Comments
Albert Burneko
August 5, 2021
Olympics
What Kind Of Toilet Destruction Are We Talking About, Here?
187
Comments
Albert Burneko
August 4, 2021
NBA
This Stupid Basketball Cliche Impacts Puking Out My Fucking Breakfast
157
Comments
Albert Burneko
August 3, 2021
Chefector
Let’s Fry Some Green Tomatoes
83
Comments
Albert Burneko
July 10, 2021
NBA
A Deep And Illuminating NBA Finals Preview For Basketball Morons
120
Comments
Albert Burneko
July 6, 2021
Overexplained Lists
Worst Places To Get A Sunburn, Ranked
242
Comments
Albert Burneko
July 4, 2021
Capital
Check Out The Drama At This Hip Cookware Company, And Then Confront The Sucking Void At The Heart Of The Global Economy
401
Comments
Albert Burneko
June 28, 2021
Chefector
Smoke The Pork, Pull The Pork, And Put The Pork In A Sandwich
145
Comments
Albert Burneko
June 26, 2021
NBA
Basketball Is Played By People, Not Archetypes
184
Comments
Albert Burneko
June 21, 2021
Chefector
Let’s Make Some Slaw
131
Comments
Albert Burneko
June 12, 2021
This Is So Stupid
Experts: Albert Burneko Is Handsome And It’s Cool To Just Give Him Money
194
Comments
Albert Burneko
June 10, 2021
Chefector
It Is Not Yet Tomato Time, Blasphemers
234
Comments
Albert Burneko
June 7, 2021
NBA
Damian Lillard Can’t Get Away With Being Human
58
Comments
Albert Burneko
June 4, 2021
College Basketball
See You Later To This Butthead
218
Comments
Albert Burneko
June 3, 2021
NBA
Danny Ainge Finally Delivers The Big Move
107
Comments
Albert Burneko
June 2, 2021
Chefector
Let’s Smoke Some Chicken On A Regular Charcoal Grill
113
Comments
Albert Burneko
May 29, 2021
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