Nature abhors a vacuum. And so we have, once again, a rich basketball-watching blonde lady from Atlanta not content to simply be rich and leave everyone else alone. Meet the bewildering Juliana Carlos, who sat courtside at last night’s Lakers-Hawks game until, with eight minutes left in the fourth quarter, she was thrown out for heckling LeBron James, being generally belligerent, and removing her mask in the process.
As you might expect from the sort of civilian shameless enough to try beefing with literally LeBron James, Carlos was very willing to discuss her removal from a professional basketball game in an Instagram story afterward. In posts she has since deleted, Carlos provided her own bizarre account of the night’s events, which, she said, began when James tore into her husband without any provocation.
“Just got kicked out of the game for talking shit to LeBron James for talking shit to my fucking husband,” she said in a video she took as she walked out of the arena. Then, from what appears to be the parking garage: “Listen, let me tell you. LeBron James looked at my husband during the game and cussed him out and I stood up and I go, ‘Don’t fucking talk to my husband. Talk to my husband one more time and I will fuck you up.’ And he started fighting with me. He goes, ‘Shut your mouth, dumb bitch.’ And I go, ‘You shut your fucking mouth, bitch.'”
You do not have to do this! You can sit and watch a game like a normal person. It’s fun! If you are so touchy that you are liable to start shouting matches with basketball players, do not attend a basketball game. That is probably the smarter choice, anyway, given the ongoing pandemic caused by the novel coronavirus. The Hawks recently re-opened their arena to fans at eight-percent capacity, or about 1,300 fans in the building, though attendance is limited to season ticket–holders. Carlos mentioned in one of her videos that her husband, Chris, area philanthropist and partner in an alcohol distributor, is a longtime Hawks fan. Also he looks like this:
It was this leathery man, apparently, who kicked off the sparring. In courtside audio isolated by internet-favorite audio isolator Jomboy, LeBron can be heard telling an official that it was “the husband” who started it. Carlos mentions her husband’s pre-existing dislike of LeBron in one of her mesmerizing post-fight videos (“He’s been watching the games for 10 years. Whatever, he has this issue with LeBron. I don’t have an issue with LeBron. I don’t give a fuck about LeBron.”), which also contains the shocking revelation of her age: “You’re going to let a 25-year-old girl intimidate you during a game? Bye, bitch.” Twenty-five!
Juliana Carlos has since been christened “Courtside Karen,” which, in other very funny news, ESPN is treating as an unprintable obscenity. Dave McMenamin writes gravely in his recap that “James later tweeted about Carlos, bestowing her with a derisive nickname commonly used to mock entitled white women.”
In his postgame comments, LeBron seemed to have a sense of humor about being heckled by this frightening couple. “At the end of the day, I’m happy fans are back in the building,” he said. “I miss that interaction. I need that interaction. We as players need that interaction.” As for the full circumstances of the “interaction,” the Atlanta Hawks are investigating, but The Athletic has reported one important detail:
The Athletic reviewed courtside video from Juliana Carlos and others in close vicinity, and the only comment that is audible from James is him saying “Ol’ steroid ass.”
Anyway, the Lakers won, 107–99.