Welcome to the Defector College Football Watch Guide, where Israel Daramola and Ray Ratto will tell you which of the weekend’s college football games are worth giving a crap about.
Israel: It’s conference championship weekend … a thing that matters! Right? There are rematches and gritty duels and a 1 vs. 2 matchup between undefeated juggernauts and no one can be bothered to give much of a shit about any of it. Is it the expanded playoff’s fault? Have they really ruined conference championships the way they ruined the bowls and threaten to ruin the regular season as a whole? It’s hard to disagree with that idea. This year especially it feels like the sport has devolved from significant games that build toward a national championship matchup to a rankings-reveal television show orchestrated by a shadowy committee, where the games merely provide window dressing. This is not just about whether Notre Dame should be in the playoff; it is about the playoff debate itself overwhelming the sport. Not one outcome from this weekend will actually determine anything regarding the playoff. It all comes down to what the committee decides they want, which is what’s good for their television show. A new era of fantasy football.
Ray: There are eight clear ways to avoid the conference championship ennui to which Israel refers, and that is the FCS playoffs, which have none of the stupid angst and potential for mindless bickering that the big-kids playoffs will. Oddly, though, only one of those eight games, Rhode Island at UC Davis, will be somewhere other than the witness protection network, a.k.a. ESPN+ (it’s on ESPN2, which is Broadway for these guys), and that will be at 10 p.m. ET, right about the time you’ve given up on Indiana-Ohio State and Duke-Virginia. What the hell, though, maybe Lane Kiffin will do a flyover with his bare behind pressed against the window of LSU’s private jet. After all, the world is his constituency now, as nauseating a notion as that might be.
Now on to the games.
Sun Belt Championship
Troy vs. James Madison — Friday, 7:00 p.m. ET on ESPN
Many of the Group of 6 championship games are really just battles between scooped-up coaches moving on to bigger programs. James Madison has found itself on a two-year ascent which includes beating UNC so bad last year that they gave their program away to washed-ass Belichick, and, if several things break their way, a slim chance at the 12-team playoff this year. Troy is not quite as illustrious record-wise but they’ve been a tough out all year, and with JMU’s coach headed to UCLA soon, they might benefit from the opponent's distraction. But if I’m JMU, even with a coach half out the door, I’m not wasting my one chance to make a huge, program-defining statement. Anyway, the only thing better than making the playoff and losing in the first round is getting to argue that you were screwed out of your shot by a conspiring committee. — Israel
James Madison winning throws a nice wrench into the bottom half of the bracket, so there’s that. This will be one of the last times such drama will be allowed, of course, because there will be an entirely new format next year that will still somehow squeeze Miami out. If Troy wins, a round of meh for the bar. – Ray.
Conference USA Championship
Kennesaw State vs. Jacksonville State — Friday, 7:00 p.m. ET on CBSSN
If you like running backs, and why would you, Jax State’s Cam Cook leads the nation in rushing, which seems fair since he also leads the nation in carries. In other words, Kennesaw State defensive coordinator Marc Mattioli has a relatively simple game plan to devise, which is “HIT NUMBER FOUR.” The only other noteworthy item about Jacksonville State is that its third-string quarterback is named Cade Cunningham, which could cause Detroit Pistons coach J.B. Bickerstaff a moment of severe angina before he comes to his senses. Either way, neither head coach is in line to get the Penn State job, which means this is just football for football’s sake. You remember when that was a thing, right? – Ray
It’s time to bring pride back to *checks notes* Kennesaw State. I’m sure they have some lineage that’s important, right? Jax won this game last time they played in October but it wasn’t exactly a dominating show, and neither team is a defensive rock, so I expect a lot of points again here and just maybe the fightin’ Owls can come away the victor this time around. – Israel
American Championship
North Texas vs. Tulane — Friday, 8:00 p.m. ET on ABC
Jon Sumrall is the kind of sneaky-good hire by Florida that would make me mad if I wasn’t certain that the athletic department and city is a lock to ruin it. Sumrall’s Tulane is up against future OK State coach Eric Morris and North Texas, which is a formidable opponent and, because this is a Texas school, might be a better funded program than OK State. But hey, everybody’s movin’ on up! This should be Friday night's best game. The onus is on North Texas to fully stamp this year against a Tulane team that should be proud they’re here in the first place. — Israel
Mountain West Championship
UNLV vs. Boise State — Friday, 8:00 p.m. ET on FOX
The likelihood is that nobody east of the Colorado-Missouri line will watch this one at any point, so playing it this early seems ridiculous. The people who will watch this will still be driving home from work. In short, this game should be played not at 8 p.m. ET, but 8 p.m. MT. Nobody would be inconvenienced, and nobody would be irked except for time-zone fascists who think the world revolves around them rather than Greenwich Mean Time. It kind of sucks for UNLV that the game is being played on the rich azure turf of Albertsons Stadium, but UNLV was 2-10 five years ago, so everything here is gravy, especially for coach Dan Mullen, who once thrived at Mississippi State and then got dragged at Florida. See? Everyone is Lane Kiffin eventually. Boise’s Spencer Danielson is 37, just at the start of his time in the job-chasing hamster wheel, and eventually can learn what Mullen did—in college football, you march to the abattoir, and all you get to decide is the pace. – Ray
Dan Mullen is trying to make his own Lane Kiffin redemption move by turning little UNLV into a football power through the transfer portal. So far, so good. Like Kiffin, Mullen is a brilliant offensive mind. Also like Kiffin, he is seemingly a nightmare to be around. He’s probably the best coach Florida has fired over the past 15 years of irrelevance. Boise State has taken a step back without a superstar like Ashton Jeanty to carry them but they remain the gnat buzzing in your ear. If you swat at them, you better check that they’re dead or else they’ll come right back for you. – Israel
Big 12 Championship
BYU vs. Texas Tech – Saturday, 12:00 p.m. ET on ABC
If you can only watch one of the nine games, you should move to a place with more televisions. Barring that, watch this game because even though Texas Tech has already beaten BYU once and is favored by an entirely justifiable 12.5 points, this feels like it’s going to be a better game than the 29-7 scoreline last time out. Tech is profoundly imposing to nearly anyone, as its scoring margin is only bested by Ohio State's and Indiana's, but you know what they say about teams playing each other for the second time in a season: tease the underdog. BYU needs a win more than Tech does, if that helps your decision. Which it probably doesn’t, at least not when you realize your only other options for this window are Miami-WMU, Blue Jackets-Panthers and Pelicans-Nets. – Ray
Say what you want about the Big Ten race, this feels like the most pointless matchup to me. Of all the rematches happening this weekend, BYU feels the least likely to accomplish any revenge. But now that I say that, watch it happen. The problem ultimately is that when they played earlier this season, the Cougars really didn’t seem to belong on the same field as Texas Tech. And with good reason: Tech is paying too much money in NIL deals for a BYU to be able to match up with them. Oil guys might act like they love burning money, but trust that they are looking for a payout always. I don’t know if Tech is a real national championship contender, but this is certainly the foundation for it. Only the grace of God will be able to carry BYU to success. – Israel
Mid-American Championship
Miami (no, not that one) vs. Western Michigan — Saturday, 12:00 p.m. ET on ESPN
This game should be played Tuesday as part of the one thing we all know and love about the MAC: MACTION! In a crowded field, this game will come and go being neither noted nor remembered, which is why, now that the college football postseason has been ruined by suited chupacabras, the field should be expanded to 16 and every conference champion gets a spot. Or expand to a perfect bracket and include 128 teams. That means the debate every year would be which eight teams don’t get an invite, at least until Greg Sankey and Tony Petitti reduce FBS membership to 40 teams and send everyone else out to the Patriot League. Then we as a nation could care about UMass. – Ray
It’s just nice to have a Miami that knows how to make it to a conference championship game. – Israel
SWAC Championship
Prairie View A&M at Jackson State – Saturday, 2:00 p.m. ET on ESPN2
The FCS playoffs are in their second round this weekend and are definitely worth tuning into, but I wanted to highlight one more HBCU game for this column. Say what you want about "Coach Prime," Jackson State has maintained some of that quality since he left and are once again in a SWAC championship game. They go up against a team just as tough in Prairie View, which likes to throw all over the place, in contrast with Jackson’s ground game. It's the two football philosophies at play, with bonus marching band mayhem at halftime. It’s hard to say which battle you’d rather win if you’re an HBCU but if you can do both, why not do both. – Israel
SEC Championship
Georgia vs. Alabama – Saturday, 4:00 p.m. ET on ABC
It is exhausting to watch this same matchup practically every year. There is a scenario where Alabama loses and is squeezed out of the 12-team playoff, making a fair argument that they were better off not making the SEC championship in the first place. That’s the kind of chicanery this system creates. And there is no fix really, because beyond being designed to create good television for shareholders, this setup is also designed to justify its own expansion. Ooh, sorry we can’t find room for you Texas, BYU, or Miami, I guess we have to go to 16 games, dah well! It literally does not matter who wins this game. — Israel
We’re going to crawl out on a limb here and say that there will be numerous and loud accusations of game-fixing if Alabama wins and keeps Texas, BYU and Miami out of the playoff. It’s the price the committee marsupials deserve for having a committee in the first place. Sleep with one eye open, boys. You asked for this. – Ray
Big Ten Championship
Indiana vs. Ohio State – Saturday, 8:00 p.m. ET on Fox
I feel like we’ve underrated how cool this game has the potential to be because no one believes this Ohio State team can be beaten or even challenged in any real way. Maybe they’re right—OSU has certainly paid enough for that to be the expectation. I would just say that we have the last two undefeated FBS teams in this matchup and at every turn Indiana has answered the call. Is it impossible to imagine them making the Buckeyes sweat a little bit? I don’t think so. After weeks of bellyaching it would be fun to root for a coach who actually chose to stay at their B-tier program. — Israel
Just a brief note to say that after three full months we are pretty well done with the Indiana-as-surprise-powerhouse stories. Now let’s see them prove it against the very-not-surprising Buckeyes. – Ray
ACC Championship
Duke vs. Virginia – Saturday, 8:00 p.m. ET on ABC
This is the game of the weekend, but only if Duke wins. In this scenario, the ACC likely gets no playoff berth at all (Duke will be 8-5, which is all you need to know about that). This then hastens the day when the SEC and Big Ten turn the playoffs into a two-conference shamtasia in which the only outworlder allowed is Notre Dame. Oh, the committee could backdoor Miami (yeah, that one) on the perfectly sensible theory that beating Notre Dame should put them ahead of Notre Dame, but the committee would no more omit Notre Dame then it would cancel its TV contracts to do a media deal with the Hallmark Channel. But the Duke part is just us being miserable bastards, because five-loss teams are people, too. Kind of. – Ray
The ACC stays an embarrassment. In no world should I be watching Duke against Virginia for anything of actual importance. People argue that the SEC is always eating itself; no, this is what it looks like when a conference eats itself all the time. A pretty-good Virginia team has to face-off against a just over .500 Duke team, while the playoff committee just pretends this conference doesn’t exist. I understand Miami’s gripe that they’ve only lost two games two years in a row and will miss the playoff yet again, but when Duke is playing Virginia because you couldn’t do enough to get into the conference championship, I can’t blame them for looking at you crazy while blowing kisses and winky faces at Notre Dame. Miami, FSU, Clemson, even SMU, they all should be embarrassed that they let this happen. – Israel
