VARIOUS CITIES (SOME ARGUABLY TOWNS), France — The Tour de France is over. I hope you enjoyed the racing and the 11 dispatches I was able to bring you from the race, on topics such as how language works in the peloton, a day in the life of a neutral service mechanic, and Tadej Pogacar's stultifying dominance. This is the last one before I go on vacation.
As I hope to have illustrated, the Tour is less a bike race than a rollicking circus that happens to have a bike race at its center. The bike race and the circus both matter, and I've tried to highlight both, though there were so many strange and delightful things that I saw, heard, and experienced that could not fit into otherwise wieldy blog posts. Instead they will fit here.
In the press room in Toulouse, on my first day at the Tour, a Dutch reporter fell through his chair. The silence of the room was interrupted by a tremendous WHUMP, and I turned around to see a helpless man lying fully supine with his hands at his side. He was fine. The next day, I noticed the chair I was sitting in had structural damage and I swapped it out.
The three-hour Hautacam traffic snarl was a low, though the very next day on the Peyragudes, I found myself in basically the same scenario. Journalists get stickers for their cars; in theory, these allow us to bomb down the left lanes around the hordes of punters. In practice, there is only so much you can do about thousands of sunburnt Germans whipping their campers around. Two photographer friends almost had their stickers swiped for laying on the horn, but I watched them talk their way out of it by claiming they were warning off a cyclist.
Young children cheer loudest for Wout van Aert.
Tons of former riders were milling around the paddock every day, like Cadel Evans, Mark Cavendish, Andy Schleck, Sep Vanmarcke, and Thomas Voeckler, who has crazy eyes.
The best town we stayed in: Annecy. The worst: Valence.
I got lunch one afternoon at a TotalEnergies, a multiplex of a gas station and the sponsor of the coolest French team. Outside the station, three bright-eyed young French people staffed a large inflatable merch booth. I asked them if they were from around these parts, and they said no, they are with the Tour de France in the loosest sense of the word: They drive around and post up at gas stations giving out bucket hats (some of the worst on offer, no disrespect).
I did the Tour Daily podcast with the Escape Collective (EC) crew almost every day I was on the Tour. They are the best. Most of my input was stilly bullshit, and we got into a lot of even deeper notebook stuff there.
At the top of Mont Ventoux, a French TV guy was getting a haircut while gazing down at the mountain. A Dutch TV producer guy was blasting a cigarette inside of his van.
I tracked every piece of NBA merchandise I saw in France. Here are my findings, in chronological order.
- Derrick Rose Grizzlies jersey (main square, Montpellier)
- Victor Wembanyama shirsey (bridge over the Garonne in Toulouse)
- Giannis Antetokounmpo shirsey, Luka Doncic Mavericks jersey, Jrue Holiday Celtics jersey, Steph Curry cable-car Warriors jersey, Sasha Vujacic (!!!) Lakers jersey, Luka Doncic Lakers jersey, and Devin Booker Suns jersey (all in downtown Toulouse)
- Child wearing full Lakers sweatsuit (main square, Toulouse)
- Luka Lakers, Shaquille O'Neal Magic, Tyrese Haliburton Pacers, LeBron James Lakers, Luka Mavs, Wemby shirsey, Wemby jersey (all on Hautacam)
- Miami Heat in-season tournament 2024 shirt (!!!) (Lourdes)
- A guy in the press room had a Giannis shirsey and he first wore it on Stage 12
- LeBron shirsey (Peyregudes)
- Warriors 2022 Champions hat (Pau)
- Raptors hoodie (33k into Stage 14)
- LeBron Lakers shirsey (sprint point of Stage 14)
- Michael Jordan Bulls, Luka Mavs, Lakers shorts, another Bulls Jordan, Utah Jazz 2020 season shirt (all on the Tourmalet)
- Two small siblings in full-kit Steph Warriors and Jordan Bulls (Carcassonne)
- Nicolas Batum Hornets (!!!) (Palavas-les-Flots)
- Kevin Durant Nets (skateboarding in Palavas-les-Flots)
- Lakers full-kit shirsey (Vaison-la-Romaine)
- Generic NBA hoodie (Bédoin)
- Full Celtics sweatsuit (Carpentras [which sucked])
- Wemby jersey (Bollène)
- Ja Morant Grizzlies (reported by Jonny Long [EC] in Lyon)
- Jimmy Butler Bulls (Montmartre)
- Child on motorbike with Paul George Clippers jersey (somewhere in Paris)
Tour de France general director Christian Prudhomme ate dinner at the same place as us in Courchevel after Stage 18. His job appears to be mostly wining and dining the mayors of every start and finish town. Speaking of Prudhomme, we met a fan on the metro in Toulouse who was wearing a shirt with a picture on it of him meeting Prudhomme.
Speaking of Stage 18: While we were waiting for traffic to clear, we started kicking around a soccer ball on a field next to the press center, and got into a three-on-three match with two local children. Their team won. Iain Treloar (EC) went up the hill to pet some horses.
The word "Defector" sounds incredible in a French accent.
Bodies of water swam in:
- Some river near Vaison-la-Romaine (possibly Ouvèze?)
- Lake Annecy
- Mediterranean Sea
I counted 74 distinct sunflower fields in France.
The best meal of the trip was in Dijon between Stages 20 and 21.
The crest of the Savoyard Duchy adorned buildings and restaurants throughout Annecy. Though technically in France, we were extremely close to Geneva, and the heraldry was a good reminder that regionalism underlies national borders and there is a transnational Savoy pride existing apart from Italian, Swiss, or French pride.
Kévin Vauquelin was soaking the atmosphere up at the Tour. After every stage finish, the brave French hope would be mobbed by reporters, but clearly didn't have enough. Multiple times after stages, I would walk by him and he would look over at me, ready to answer questions that were not coming, as the most complicated question I could ask him in French would be something like It is good, your bike life?
I have identified a new doppelgänger: Matteo Jorgenson. Somehow, I kept ending up in the center of his press scrums, which was good, because he is the most soft-spoken guy on the Tour. He is extremely thoughtful and articulate, but he talks super quietly.
I saw Astana soigneurs shopping on the second rest day. One of their carts was full of bottled water, another of sausages and beer (presumably not for the riders), and the other was mostly vegetables and bread. Cofidis and Intermarché cars were in the parking lot, but I didn't see their shopping carts.
I tried staying in a shared dorm room after Col de la Loze, in hopes of interviewing each of my seven roommates and getting a funny story out of it. Only two people ended up sleeping there, and neither of them spoke English.
In the village, there's a big stand by the yellow jersey sponsor's booth with a list of names of every winner. Lance Armstrong's is on there, but it's crossed out.
The Shimano-branded bikes atop the neutral service cars are re-stickered Canyon frames.
While the fight for the yellow jersey ended a long time ago, the rest of the top 10 was extremely competitive. The fight for the final position led to some particularly interesting racing. By Stage 20, UAE was clearly not going to take responsibility for dealing with the breakaway, and when 11th-placed Jordan Jegat got into the move and they did not reel it back, Jayco got pissed. Jegat was 4:08 behind Ben O'Connor in 10th, which meant they had to chase all day to try and preserve their mercurial leader's top-10; perhaps this is why UAE let Jegat into the break. Jayco had not spent any time leading the peloton and as valiant of an effort as Mauro Schmid put in, they couldn't bring them back. Jegat didn't win the stage, but the mood at his team bus was elated.
Poke is oddly popular in landlocked parts of France.
Beloved French cyclist Romain Bardet retired after the Criterium du Dauphine, which takes place right before the Tour de France. He still came to the Tour, however, and spent a couple days handing out bottles on the road to guys who were his teammates a week earlier, riding on various motorbikes, and just sort of ambiently hanging out.
The hotel I stayed at in Paris is almost explicitly a place to have affairs. In the reception area you can buy a "Lovebox," an alleged "sensual interlude for two" filled with toys and whatnot—one whose design is, intriguingly, "inspired by the architectural details of the hotel."
Of the Tour's two iconic mountain ranges, I liked the Pyrenees more than the Alps. There is clearly more money in the Alps, and with it better roads, superior food, and cozier digs, including Ineos boss Jim Ratcliffe's villain-style lair in Courchevel. The Pyrenees are slightly more sparsely populated, with spikier peaks and a delightful dialect-infused version of French.
I am going on vacation now. Au revoir!
