From time to time, a restaurant will have a sign on its door indicating that it's not open—some in the industry refer to this as being "closed." But Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy is not deterred by this concept. Pizza Boy needs his pizza!
When he's not being a loathsome creep or losing legal appeals against media outlets that report on him being a loathsome creep, Portnoy spends his time grading pizza places. This practice has made him as entitled as the world's worst Yelp user. It's Do you know who I am? combined with I could give you a bad review.
Recently Portnoy showed up to Classic Slice in Milwaukee looking for his fix, but the restaurant was closed for a staff party. Instead of finding somewhere else to eat, he knocked on the window and waved his hand until he got someone to come to the door. "I do pizza reviews throughout the country," Pizza Boy, 45, shouted through the glass.
The Classic Slice worker who opened the door told Portnoy the ovens weren't on, politely implying that the employees who were off the clock didn't want to spend an hour to make pizza for some dipshit, even if he had an audience on YouTube. The worker generously offered some beer and chocolate chip cookies; Portnoy reviewed the cookies instead and said they sucked. The mouse was more grateful than him. Other local businesses could learn a lesson here: Next time, don't bother opening the door.
H/t to Milwaukee Record