Now Coming Onto The Pitch For West Ham: Wife

It's International Women's Day, which means it is time for various people and organizations to honor women in ways that will at best make you say, "Huh, OK, that's nice," and at worst have you making a face like you just opened a surprise medical bill. The tribute engineered today by West Ham United, who are paying respects to "inspirational women in their lives" on their training kits, falls somewhere in the middle, I suppose.

I am reminded of a specific genre of internet video with a simple premise: Men are approached on the street and asked to name a woman who inspires them that is not related to them, and then we all squirm in discomfort while they struggle to think for 15-30 seconds and then, if they are lucky, squeak out, "Michelle Obama." (Don't worry, I've seen enough of these at this point that I have a list of answers ready to go. I challenge all TikTokers to try their funny little game on me!) You'd hope that the West Ham players, presumably given a bit more time to prepare, would fare better than those jokers who get put on the spot, but hey, maybe the kit man was in a hurry and channeled Billy Eichner while trying to get the shirts printed.

There is at least one player on West Ham's roster, however, that would pass the "name a woman" test with flying colors—striker Michail Antonio has put his mates to shame:

Anyway, this at least went better than whatever Erling Haaland was trying to do.