Hey, I got a new idea for the next baseball game: Instead of hitting the ball, with a bat, I will just have a bunch of guys on my team pick me up and carry me to first base. Knock over the first baseman if necessary. And, oh, here's an idea for the next basketball game: I can't dunk so I'll just get up on the shoulders of the biggest player on my team and have him put me up there where I can slam the ball right through the hoop—best efforts of the opponents far below me be damned.
How's that sound? Fun? No. Sacrilegious to playing the game the way the game should be played? Correct. Likewise, when our beloved boys set foot on the hallowed gridiron, we would never indulge in the "tush push." The game of football is about handing off the pigskin to the halfback and hitting the A gap made by the big hogs in the trenches. It's not about having a thousand pounds of man flesh get behind you and push you straight forward through everything in front of you, and you're carrying the ball, and then you get the yards. That's not what it's about at all
It's about the brotherhood of your teammates.
I could be a veritable Walter Payton if you had all the guys on the team push me from behind. What the hell kind of game is that? A game of corruption, low character, and murder. Rather than simply damage to the brain and joints.
I hope to never witness the sorry spectacle of a National Football League team winning a playoff game through the use of having a bunch of guys get behind the main guy and just pushing him right into the end zone. Lo, vengeful god, hear my prayer! If any team sinks to this foul level of ignominy, let them be cursed with decades of post-industrial economic decline! Let the frigid snow pile onto their dwellings just as locusts covered the lands of the Pharaoh! Let them be sentenced never to have the hearty and succulent meat of the bird, and only to gnaw forever on the bird's unsatisfying wings! O god, I beseech thee!
This is about a principle and not about any team in particular. But as they say—if the shoe fits, take a look in the mirror.
The city of Jacksonville now turns its attention to kratom.
“Jaguars Junction” is an independent source of football analysis unaffiliated with any professional sports franchise.
