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We Need A Couple Of You To Subscribe So That This Photo Of A Haggard Phil Mickelson Is Worth It

A very haggard Phil Mickelson at the LIV Golf draft on June 7.
Aitor Alcalde/LIV Golf/Getty Images

Phil Mickelson reentered society at Tuesday’s LIV Golf event in London, and while the Saudis have treated him well, every other aspect of the world has not.

The golfer made his first public appearance since he gave his opinion on Saudi Arabia’s record on human rights and ended up reshaping how his finances operate. With his slicked-back hair and dark outfit, Mickelson appeared to be representing his own heart. The photographer at the event captured the image above, of Lefty next to fellow golfer Dustin Johnson. He looks eager to be there. Alternately, David Roth said he looked like Nicolas Cage’s character from Mandy if you washed all the blood off him.

Let’s get a closeup:

Credit: Aitor Alcalde/LIV Golf/Getty Images

Those are the eyes of someone intently fixated on the fifth leg of a parlay. This image is proof that the Kubrick stare can be just as unnerving when the face tilt is reversed. Mickelson presumably posed for photos after he performed his hourlong set about the differences between men and women. He looks like a Righteous Gemstones character who’s inexplicably naked for one scene. Peter Stormare’s calling his lawyer to figure out if he has a case here.

All right, it’s time to be honest: We paid $375 to use this photo of a devastatingly haggard Phil Mickelson. I saw them online, thought they’d make for a good blog, realized they’re in a premium Getty tier and need to be purchased individually, and got approval to buy the most alarming one. I feel like I’ve gotten at least a hundred dollars’ worth of jokes out of it so far, but we need you to cover the rest. You now have to fulfill your part of a terrible deal that, unlike the players on the LIV Golf tour, you never signed up for. Toss Defector a couple of bucks and maybe we’ll buy a second photo of a haggard Phil Mickelson. Hell, if it’ll motivate you, just replace that “and” with an “or.”

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