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Senators Week

Failed Senate Candidate Visits Sacramento With Bear

3:02 PM EDT on May 4, 2021

Even among a crowded field of rich guys fervently pumping money into futile vanity political campaigns, Republican California gubernatorial candidate John Cox has a distinguished history of falling short of attaining any sort of political goal. He has tried and failed to run for U.S. President, U.S. Senator, California Governor, and even Cook County Recorder of Deeds. He lost the 2018 gubernatorial race by a historic landslide and lost his Recorder of Deeds race by over 40 percent. Donald Trump called him a "really good and highly competent man" in the run-up to the 2018 race, which probably helped seal his fate. Most people would take the hint and fuck off at some point, but Cox made many millions working in the business industry and seems to lack any compelling hobbies, and so seems determined to keep pumping money into his various campaigns. This is where the bear comes into our story.

Cox is once again running for California Governor Gavin Newsom's seat, and today he is kicking off his campaign with a little bus tour. The opening stop was in Sacramento at Miller Park, which is home to Sacramento's heartiest skunk and raccoon populations, as well as a few feral peacocks. For one day, it was also home to a majestic bear, dragged there against its will to be used as a bauble by this rich, failure-addicted freak. Cox has rebranded himself "the Beast" for some reason, thus the bear. It is difficult to think of a more apt visual metaphor for the ways in which hyper-wealthy bloodsuckers have done their level best to raze the state than this stunt; it is hard to tell what Cox might even be going for, but it is crystal-clear that it sucks.

This bear's got the right idea.

I would have gone to see the bear today at Cox's stop in Napa, but he only rolled him out in Sacramento. Skimping on bear expenses already—bodes poorly for the campaign.

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