A tipster named Will emailed the Defector tips line Thursday afternoon with the most enticing possible subject line: “who farted?” Within the email, the tipster included a timestamp and a link to Wednesday’s joint episode of The Hoop Collective and The Lowe Post with ESPN reporters Brian Windhorst and Zach Lowe, along with guest Larry Nance Jr. What follows is not so much our attempt to answer the question of who farted, but rather, what the noise in question really is.
At the 23:35 mark of the podcast, as Windhorst was making a point about Giannis Antetokounmpo’s dominance in the NBA Finals, the following sound occurs:
At first I thought, “That’s a fart.” It was a robust toot, with short but notable pauses of silence on either side. However, when I shared a homemade recording of the sound with the Defector staff, dissenters emerged:
Patrick: okay i listened to the fart in tips
David Roth: lol
Just workplace things
Patrick: brian windhorst just finishes making a point and then someone lets rip an unmistakable toot
then he just keeps going and nobody says anything lol
Samer: can you clip it for us
Patrick: yeah one sec
Samer: i wanna hear
David Roth: Samer’s about to give some tasting notes and terroir on this thing
[Audio of fart-like noise]
Barry Petchesky: i think sneeze maybe
Lauren: oh yeah i heard that and kinda thought that was a mouth noise?
too close to the mic
Samer: that’s really robust
whatever it is
Wags: Did This Noise Come From Mouth or Butt
Barry Petchesky: lol
Patrick: are you kidding there’s no way that came from mouth
Barry Petchesky: i think it’s like a sneeze that someone tried to stifle
but was too stronk
David Roth: Saying “enhance” to my computer in hopes it will make it clearer somehow.
Patrick: that’s the clearest fart ever!
Barry Petchesky: From What Hole Did This Noise Come
it coulda been on purpose
Barry Petchesky: patty there’s like a clear as day sneeze sound right after the toot
could’ve been a fart-sneeze
However, there had been an error. The “clear-as-day sneeze sound” following the fart-like noise was me trying to stifle a laugh as I recorded, so the audio was deemed inadmissible in Defector staff court. A second recording allowed for an unsullied decision: The sound appears to brap forth directly into the microphone, which is traditionally placed by the mouth hole, not the butthole.
[Audio of fart-like noise, unencumbered by giggling]
Patrick: no redford interference on this one
im kind coming around to team no fart
billy: the sound is directly in the mic
billy: i think it was a “sheesh”-like noise in awe of the stat
Wags: yeah i think it was for emphasis
Barry Petchesky: Yeah
Wags: mouth hole
Barry Petchesky: lil raspberry
Samer: yeah i’m coming around to this assessment: it’s not an ass-essment
We have conducted our own investigation and come to our own conclusion. You are encouraged to do the same.