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<p>Columnist. Author of many <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Drew-Magary/e/B001JS8R52/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1">fine works of literature</a>, including <em>Point B</em>. Handsomest man in the world.</p>


Drew Magary

INGLEWOOD, CALIFORNIA - OCTOBER 04: NFL commissioner Roger Goodell looks on before the Las Vegas Raiders play against the Los Angeles Chargers at SoFi Stadium on October 4, 2021 in Inglewood, California. (Photo by Sean M. Haffey/Getty Images)

Roger Goodell Will Always Be A Gutless Stooge Fuck

Actually, Teaching Your Kid To Drive Is Fucking Great

during the AFC Divisional Playoff Game at Sports Authority Field at Mile High on January 17, 2016 in Denver, Colorado.

The Great Whitewashing Of The American Fan

MELKSHAM, UNITED KINGDOM - DECEMBER 01: Children look at the Christmas lights displayed on a house on December 1, 2008 in Melksham, England. The householder Alex Goodwind - who says he does it to raise money for charity after his mother died a few years ago - starts planning lights in July and has spent 3,000 GBP this year alone on the lights that are now estimated to be worth 30,000 GBP. Last year the bill for electricity was 700 GBP and the house had to have an uprated electricity supply installed to cope with the additional power needed. Donations from visitors to the spectacle raised over 2,000 GBP to local hospice Dorothy House. (Photo by Matt Cardy/Getty Images)

This Thanksgiving, I Am A Christmas Guy

I Finally Quit Sports Talk Radio

of AT&T's Original Series 'You Me Her' speaks onstage during AT&T AUDIENCE Network Presents at 2017 Winter TCA at Langham Hotel on January 5, 2017 in Pasadena, California.

It’s Time I Lived My Truth: I Love Joe Buck

I Am Getting Good Again At Wasting My Life

My Excursion Into The Land Of Mocktails

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA - SEPTEMBER 13: Lamar Jackson #8 of the Baltimore Ravens fakes a handoff to running back Ty'Son Williams #34 against the Las Vegas Raiders at Allegiant Stadium on September 13, 2021 in Las Vegas, Nevada. The Raiders defeated the Ravens 33-27 in overtime. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

If You Run From The Shotgun On Short Yardage One More Time, I Will Murder You

GLENDALE, ARIZONA - OCTOBER 10: Maxx Williams #87 of the Arizona Cardinals is carted off the field after sustaining a injury during the second quarter against the San Francisco 49ers at State Farm Stadium on October 10, 2021 in Glendale, Arizona. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)

Show The Injuries

TAMPA, FLORIDA - JULY 25: Vita Vea #50 of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers looks on during training camp at AdventHealth Training Center on July 25, 2021 in Tampa, Florida. (Photo by Julio Aguilar/Getty Images)

Have You Hugged Your Local Run-Stuffing Fat Guy Today?

It’s Me, The Unwanted Advice–Giver

On Sleeping In

HOUSTON, TEXAS - SEPTEMBER 12: Head coach Urban Meyer of the Jacksonville Jaguars reacts after losing to the Houston Texans 37-21 at NRG Stadium on September 12, 2021 in Houston, Texas. (Photo by Carmen Mandato/Getty Images)

Why Do College Coaches Fail In The NFL?

GLENDALE, ARIZONA - AUGUST 17: The Arizona Cardinals warm-up during a NFL team training camp at University of State Farm Stadium on August 17, 2020 in Glendale, Arizona. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)

The Best Part Of Football Is Getting Ready For It

INDIANAPOLIS, IN - FEBRUARY 28: Scouts look on as a player runs the 40-yard dash during the 2012 NFL Combine at Lucas Oil Stadium on February 28, 2012 in Indianapolis, Indiana. (Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images)

Hire Me To Be An Anonymous Scout, You Cowards

The majestic spiral galaxy NGC 4414 as photographed by the Hubble Space Telescope. (Photo by NASA)

Is God Conscious?

TAMPA, FLORIDA - JANUARY 31: An aerial view of Raymond James Stadium ahead of Super Bowl LV on January 31, 2021 in Tampa, Florida. (Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)

Life Is Measured In Super Bowls

“I Was Down $3,000 And Felt A Fart Coming On.” YOUR SUPER BOWL POOPOROO!

NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA - JANUARY 17: Tom Brady #12 of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers celebrates a first down against the New Orleans Saints late in the fourth quarter in the NFC Divisional Playoff game at Mercedes Benz Superdome on January 17, 2021 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)

Ego Works

ORCHARD PARK, NEW YORK - DECEMBER 13: Head coach Mike Tomlin of the Pittsburgh Steelers looks on before the game against the Buffalo Bills at Bills Stadium on December 13, 2020 in Orchard Park, New York. (Photo by Bryan M. Bennett/Getty Images)

I Can’t Believe I’m Saying This, But NFL Coaches Are Better Than Ever

DETROIT, MI - JANUARY 03: Kirk Cousins #8 of the Minnesota Vikings looks on in the first quarter of the game against the Detroit Lions at Ford Field on January 3, 2021 in Detroit, Michigan. (Photo by Rey Del Rio/Getty Images)

You Truly Are What Your Record Says You Are

The Internet Can Belong To You Again

Ashley Feinberg

US Vice President Mike Pence delivers an update on "Operation Warp Speed" in the Rose Garden of the White House in Washington, DC on November 13, 2020. (Photo by MANDEL NGAN / AFP) (Photo by

Is Mike Pence Packin’?

ORCHARD PARK, NEW YORK - DECEMBER 13: Ben Roethlisberger #7 of the Pittsburgh Steelers enters the field before the game against the Buffalo Bills at Bills Stadium on December 13, 2020 in Orchard Park, New York. (Photo by Bryan M. Bennett/Getty Images)

The Old Guard Of Quarterbacks Needs To Go Away