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Ray Ratto

Lance Franklin of the Swans celebrates kicking his 1000th career goal during the round two AFL match between the Sydney Swans and the Geelong Cats at Sydney Cricket Ground on March 25, 2022 in Sydney, Australia.

Australian Football

Aussie Rules Fans Storm Field In Celebration Of Lance Franklin’s Scoring Milestone

BALTIMORE, MD - NOVEMBER 19: Louis Angelos (L) and John Angelos (R) of the Baltimore Orioles look on after introducing Mike Elias (C) to the media as the Orioles Executive Vice President and General Manager during a news conference at Oriole Park at Camden Yards on November 19, 2018 in Baltimore, Maryland. (Photo by Rob Carr/Getty Images)

The Cheap Get Cheaper

ATLANTA, GEORGIA - DECEMBER 26: Matt Ryan #2 of the Atlanta Falcons looks on during warm-up before the game against the Detroit Lions at Mercedes-Benz Stadium on December 26, 2021 in Atlanta, Georgia. (Photo by Todd Kirkland/Getty Images)

The QB Carousel Spins At Unsafe Speeds

SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA - JANUARY 15: Sacramento Kings owner Vivek Ranadivé sits court side at the start of the second half of their game against the Dallas Mavericks at Golden 1 Center on January 15, 2020 in Sacramento, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

English Premier League

America’s Most Feckless Owners Want In On Chelsea

A photo of John Clayton. He is sitting in a TV studio, wearing a suit, and smiling.

John Clayton Loved Football More Than You Did

NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 8: (L-R) Tom Holmoe, director of athletics at Brigham Young University, works as the NCAA Basketball Tournament Selection Committee meets on Wednesday afternoon, March 8, 2017 in New York City. The committee is gathered in New York to begin the five-day process of selecting and seeding the field of 68 teams for the NCAA MenÕs Basketball Tournament. The final bracket will be released on Sunday evening following the completion of conference tournaments. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

College Basketball

This March Madness, Consider Suffering In Silence For Once

MINNEAPOLIS, MN - MARCH 16: LeBron James #6 of the Los Angeles Lakers wipes his face in the fourth quarter against the Minnesota Timberwolves at Target Center on March 16, 2022 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The Timberwolves defeated the Lakers 124-104. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this Photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by David Berding/Getty Images)

Which Specific Form Of Lakers Humiliation Are You Rooting For?

ATLANTA, GA - NOVEMBER 05: Atlanta Braves c celebrating following their World Series Parade at Truist Park on November 5, 2021 in Atlanta, Georgia. The Atlanta Braves won the World Series in six games against the Houston Astros winning their first championship since 1995. (Photo by Megan Varner/Getty Images)

The Stove Is Back On And It’s Hot As Hell

SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA - MARCH 16: Stephen Curry #30 of the Golden State Warriors competes for a loose ball against Grant Williams #12 of the Boston Celtics in the first quarter at Chase Center on March 16, 2022 in San Francisco, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Lachlan Cunningham/Getty Images)

The Warriors Were Healthy Just Long Enough To Get Their Hopes Up

OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA - SEPTEMBER 21: Matt Olson #28 and Matt Chapman #26 of the Oakland Athletics celebrate after Olson hit a solo home run against the Seattle Mariners in the bottom of the first inning at RingCentral Coliseum on September 21, 2021 in Oakland, California. (Photo by Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images)

The A’s Have Made A Science Of Giving Up

Soccer

Chelsea’s Win Felt Mercifully Routine

Death To The NCAA

Will Wade Just Couldn’t Help Himself

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA - FEBRUARY 18: Jack Eichel #9 of the Vegas Golden Knights takes a break during a stop in play in the third period of a game against the Los Angeles Kings at T-Mobile Arena on February 18, 2022 in Las Vegas, Nevada. The Kings defeated the Golden Knights 4-3 in overtime. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

Sabres Fans’ Last Laugh Should Probably Be A Sob

ORLANDO, FLORIDA - FEBRUARY 10: Major League Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred walks to a press conference during an MLB owner's meeting at the Waldorf Astoria on February 10, 2022 in Orlando, Florida. Manfred addressed the ongoing lockout of players, which owners put in place after the league's collective bargaining agreement ended on December 1, 2021. (Photo by Julio Aguilar/Getty Images)

With Baseball Back, What Are You Supposed To Do With All That Bitterness?

SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA - MARCH 08: Moses Moody #4 of the Golden State Warriors is congratulated by Stephen Curry #30 after scoring and drawing a foul against the Los Angeles Clippers in the second half during an NBA basketball game at Chase Center on March 08, 2022 in San Francisco, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images)

I Suppose What The Warriors Needed All Along Was Will Ferrell

Now Is The Time To Find One MLB Owner To Hate More Than Ever

If LeBron James Can Score 56 Points Every Game, The Lakers Might Be Alright

SUN VALLEY, ID - JULY 12: Rob Manfred, commissioner of Major League Baseball (MLB), attends the annual Allen &amp; Company Sun Valley Conference, July 12, 2019 in Sun Valley, Idaho. Every July, some of the world's most wealthy and powerful businesspeople from the media, finance, and technology spheres converge at the Sun Valley Resort for the exclusive weeklong conference. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

What’s The Price Of Shame?

Everyone Becomes A Loser Eventually

CARSON, CALIFORNIA - FEBRUARY 20: Mallory Pugh #9 of the United States celebrates her goal against New Zealand with teammates during the SheBelieves Cup 2022 at Dignity Health Sports Park on February 20, 2022 in Carson, California. (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

U.S. Soccer Got Dragged Kicking And Screaming Into One Good Decision

BALTIMORE, MARYLAND - MAY 12: Kentucky Derby winner and Preakness entrant Medina Spirit is bathed following a training session for the upcoming Preakness Stakes at Pimlico Race Course on May 12, 2021 in Baltimore, Maryland. (Photo by Rob Carr/Getty Images)

Horse Racing

Dead Horse Guilty

PHOENIX, ARIZONA - FEBRUARY 16: Chris Paul #3 of the Phoenix Suns reacts after an injury to his hand and a technical-foul during the second half of the NBA game against the Houston Rockets at Footprint Center on February 16, 2022 in Phoenix, Arizona. The Suns defeated the Rockets 124-121. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)

Chris Paul And The Suns Deserve A Hand

INGLEWOOD, CALIFORNIA - FEBRUARY 13: Eric Weddle #20 of the Los Angeles Rams celebrates after Super Bowl LVI at SoFi Stadium on February 13, 2022 in Inglewood, California. The Los Angeles Rams defeated the Cincinnati Bengals 23-20. (Photo by Steph Chambers/Getty Images)

I’m Not Sure How My Manhood Got Dragged Into This

BEIJING, CHINA - FEBRUARY 15: Kamila Valieva of Team ROC skates during the Women Single Skating Short Program on day eleven of the Beijing 2022 Winter Olympic Games at Capital Indoor Stadium on February 15, 2022 in Beijing, China. (Photo by Justin Setterfield/Getty Images)

Figure Skating

The Kamila Valieva Saga Is Going To Get Weirder Before It Gets Better

ORLANDO, FLORIDA - FEBRUARY 10: Major League Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred answers questions during an MLB owner's meeting at the Waldorf Astoria on February 10, 2022 in Orlando, Florida. Manfred addressed the ongoing lockout of players, which owners put in place after the league's collective bargaining agreement ended on December 1, 2021. (Photo by Julio Aguilar/Getty Images)